Random n@.

1. I distinctly remember my high school Spanish teacher once telling the class that there just weren’t enough hours in the day for her and that she would kill for more time, even just 30 extra minutes a day.

I remember that because I was all, “Pshh. Whatever. There’s plenty of time in the day to watch 90210, play Pitfall, do my stupid homework, clean out my Trapper Keeper, listen to some Taylor Dayne, and maybe catch Point Break or Ghost at the movies tonight. Pshh. Estas loca!”

Holy crap. I’m 33 now and there’s just not enough hours in the day and I would kill for more time, even just 30 extra minutes a day. There are presents to buy, presents to wrap, a suitcase to pack, pigeons to be killed, emails to be returned, three days of newspapers to be read, hair to be cut, eyeglasses to be ordered, and a new restaurant to be tried. Oy.

P.S. I ruled at Pitfall. You’d have been owned. And if pwned had been a word back in 1991, you’d have been THAT, too.

2. Benny was voted to the Pro Bowl this year along with Troysus (really?!), James Harrison, Alan Faneca, and Willie Parker.

You know what? I’m happy for The Duke. It has not been his best year, but when Benny is good, he’s stellar and I’m thrilled he’ll be there representing the Burgh.

“From the time you’re a kid, it’s always a goal to win a Super Bowl, get to a Pro Bowl, all that stuff,” Roethlisberger said. “I’m not going to lie, it is a great honor. But a lot is to attributable to the rest of my offensive guys, my team.”

That was a great thing to say and just enough to make me love him. But just for today. I’ll probably hate him tomorrow.

Mike Tomlin said regarding James Harrison making Pro Bowl after being an undrafted rookie at one point in time, making the roster three years later:

“That’s football justice right there,” coach Mike Tomlin said after learning Harrison will start in the Pro Bowl.

Football justice. LOVE IT!

3. Reader Andrea R emailed me and made me laugh:

Bought the shirt. Seriously – and I’m going to wear it around here in Chambersburg to see who recognizes it by raising their right hand and saying “hail Troysus!”and then kicking a pigeon. I have a request though: can the pigeon whose head gets ripped off because I bought a shirt (no advanced warning of the hoodie coming thankyouverymuch or I would have bought that instead) be saved and let to rot, stored carefully for this reason: in the 2008 Pirates season I want Matt Capps to nail fatass Prince Fielder with it instead of a baseball the next time those nasty Brewers come to PNC. And then Ryan Doumit can take Fielder outside and finish him off. That would be hot.


The Burgh Blog readers are the wittiest bunch of hotties ever.

4. Carnegie Mellon University was named the fifth ugliest college campus by this dumbass.

I haven’t actually been to Carnegie Mellon, just heard horrible things about it and Pittsburgh. So I decided to take a virtual tour of its residence hall. But what they didn’t realize is outside the window of a room you can see the god-awful brick red building that looks like something you’d see at Rikers. What else is new?

I haven’t actually seen this guy, but I just know he’s the ruler of the Kingdom of Fug and Gross.

(h/t Herbie)

5. Would some kind Burgher please inform this man that he might be gay? I just don’t think he’s done the math yet and that math is this: asexual toward women + okay with sex with women only for procreational purposes + sleeping in same bed with men = probably gay.

6. HAH! Awesome, awesome Burgher.

7. A new Sonic is opening! Go get your tots and a Diet Cherry Limeaid.


  1. Fisticuffs
    December 19, 2007 9:40 am

    OK, I think we (as Steeler Nation) might be a little too tough on our players. While I’m certainly not one of Benny’s minions, he’s clearly having his best year yet, all while running for his life behind our (un)reasonable facsimile of a line. Are they over 40 sacks given up on the year yet?

    Look around the league, and if you can find more than Manning or Brady that you’d consider trading straight up, let me know.

    So let’s all try not to hate him tomorrow ;)

  2. north sider
    December 19, 2007 10:08 am

    Pitfall. Oh the memories. The best gift I bought this Christmas season was an Atari at Target for $17. I decided that noone else would appreciate it, so it is my gift to myself. Can’t wait to play!

  3. still a fan
    December 19, 2007 10:11 am

    trapper keeper!!! HA! that brings back memories to a 39 year old!

    and PG…i would have KILLED you at tanks with the ricochet on!

  4. Kat
    December 19, 2007 10:23 am

    #4–Wean Hall is one of the ugliest buildings on campus, but the original 100-year-old Hornbostel campus buildings are usually considered to be some of the finest in Pittsburgh. They film movies in them and shit. Dumbass.


  5. plexxer
    December 19, 2007 10:27 am

    “So was Pitfall Harry a treasure hunter or just a thief?”
    “Pitfall Harry played by his own rules.”

    – Coworker & Ted in the comic Sally Forth

  6. Lily
    December 19, 2007 10:28 am


  7. TrolleyRider
    December 19, 2007 10:30 am

    Someone needs to make a parody of Coach Tomlin as Shaft with the catchphrase “Football Justice” ala that Big Ben motorcycle shooting video game you had a few weeks ago.

  8. Mean Gene
    December 19, 2007 10:37 am

    I gotta get one of those Atari-game plugin thingys and play me some Pitfall. Hours of gator-jumpin’ fun and the game took up less memory than the smallest pornographic image on my computer. If I had pornographic images on my computer. Which I don’t.

  9. jeeperz
    December 19, 2007 11:13 am

    they have pitfall in the atari plug and play? dang….I gotta stop livin under this rock!

  10. Megan
    December 19, 2007 11:26 am

    I’m bummed Heath Miller didn’t make the Pro Bowl :(

  11. Me
    December 19, 2007 11:35 am

    What an arse the guy with the ugliest campuses comments is! How can you do any kind of rating without actually visiting? Based on some pictures he decided it was ugly? Jerk. He must be being flamed all over the place because he turned off comments.

  12. Goob
    December 19, 2007 11:42 am

    In the main, CMU campus is pretty reasonable. It must be said that the place is an odd collection of architecture; it has been transforming over time, too, and I like to think that it has become a higglety-pigglety place that has a certain sense of balance now. There is glass and steel here, and odd grill-covered things, and many buildings of yellow brick that I quite like. Many of the newer buildings here seem to have been designed by a closeted voyeur…but let it stand. The dorms are dorms; their main function is efficiency, and it is difficult to wring beauty from efficiency. However, there are a few bits of campus that give the rating some cause.

    Consider Wean Hall. I work in this building, I know it well. I imagine that if I were to conduct an interview with Wean Hall, it would go something like this:

    – Good morning, Wean. Thank you for coming.


    Wean, you see, is built in the architectural style of New Brutalism. There is concrete abounding, long straight lines without pause, unfinished ceilings that are high and dim above exposed mechanicals. Here in my office I can reach to the left to touch the wall of unfinished cinder block: we are not allowed to put up drywall or plaster or anything else like that to make the spaces more comfortable.

    – Wean, tell me: where do you summer?


    However, like any compressive situation, the human spirit endeavors to rise above. One of the odd features of the facade are the holes; there are little round divots in the concrete cladding of the building, and one day some time ago someone noticed that the caps from 20oz soda (yes) bottles fit perfectly. In short order, a campaign was mounted to fill as many of the holes with bottle caps as possible. The project continues to this day.

    Wean also can cause the human spirit to corkscrew wildly to one side: see Architect’s Leap.

    – So, tell me about the bottle caps.


    The end result of several decades of human occupation (and the lines of our lives which are almost never straight) have done a little to soften the place, some. The hard corners of angry wall have accrued memory and tradition: as much as it aspires to be a cold, dead place, there are people living in it, and mostly the sort of people that would rather the world be a bit better. This has rubbed off. It’s a subtle effect, and I can see how a visitor would miss it.

    – Well, it’s been good to have you here, Wean.


    Wean pauses here, and looks down at its coffee cup.


    And then there’s Donner, a residence hall here on campus, which is highly evocative of a 1970’s middle class American bathroom that threw up.

    Go Tartans, or some such!

  13. Bram R
    December 19, 2007 12:03 pm

    Worst decision ever, Troysus for ProBowl this year. Now is not the time for positive reinforcement given his current habits and imbalences. Troy, it’s called GROUNDING, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, please give it some thought. More on this later.

  14. val
    December 19, 2007 1:13 pm

    Right on!

    You nailed the quintessential Sonic meal – tater tots and a diet cherry limeade. That’s what I got when I went to opening weekend up at crappy Pittsburgh Mills, with a corn dog thrown in for protein – it was dinnertime, after all. The article says that 16 (!!) Sonics are planned for the Pittsburgh area, so eventually us cityfolk might not have to make the trek out to the burbs for out tater tot goodness.

  15. bellgirl
    December 19, 2007 2:06 pm

    And I thought the trademark CMU building was yellow brick! And what d*ucheb@g doesn’t love a campus designed like a ship, with prow, stern, and all. I’ve never seen Mr. (Ms.?) Campus Squeeze, but I’m betting s/he’s a d*ucheb@g.

  16. Mom from the Burgh
    December 19, 2007 2:06 pm

    There is a site that is rated by the STUDENTS in the catagories of diversity, staff, fun, and athletics and looks.
    CMU which is on my daughters list was rated
    c- in good looking females and B and A in other catagories. Typical of any of the better schools in the country. Arizona state has the best looking women and Texas has the men.
    The other colleges dont have Steelers or Penguins in town though.. BIG A+ if you ask me.

  17. BB
    December 19, 2007 2:56 pm

    It is not one of Ben’s best years? Okay. *shakes head*. He broke Bradshaw’s record. I think this is one of his best years yet, IMO. Still can improve….please get rid of the ball but he is doing very well.

  18. Sooska
    December 19, 2007 3:47 pm

    re: ugly campus guy. He has turned off his comments. COWARD!

  19. Bethany
    December 19, 2007 6:27 pm

    My letter to Benny:
    I want to have your babies.
    Love, your imaginary self-united wife

  20. scottie
    December 19, 2007 8:02 pm

    OMG, you admit your age? I’m twenty-ten and I’m stickin’ to it.

  21. Pinto Alegre
    December 19, 2007 10:07 pm


    Ever notice that most of the people that you make fun of on Craigslist remove their postings right after you do it? I’m wondering what the hell people are saying to these folks after you link to them to make them take their ad down.

    Just sayin’.

  22. Champ
    December 20, 2007 6:54 pm

    Benny is a stud. You can’t help to just love that big lug to death. I’ll take him for my team over Peyton and Brady anyday. And Coach Tomlin basically eats awesomeness for breakfast. :)