Monthly Archives: December 2007

PittGirl goes “there.”

Racial issues are divisive, so you’d think I wouldn’t write about them, but Mike Seate wrote a column entitled “Steelers tickets too pricey for black fans” that includes the following:

I first heard about this from black readers who attended professional football games.

They returned complaining about country music blaring out of the Heinz Field public address system and a dearth of black faces in the bleachers. Their observations rang true on Sunday, as I watched a mostly black Steelers team play before a crowd that was whiter than Christmas dinner at Ann Coulter’s crib.

Though 70 percent of National Football League players are black, according to the league, I saw few blacks in the stands. Well, at least few who weren’t pounding the stairs selling $6 beers and $4 Cokes.

And the $60 or so it costs to land a ticket might not seem like a lot of money, but it’s a lot more than most black families I know can afford.

So just because we’re not visible in the stands doesn’t mean black Pittsburghers don’t enjoy the Steelers. It just means many of us can’t afford to enjoy them in person.

My thoughts:

1.  There are shitloads of white people that can’t afford to enjoy a Steelers game either.  Shit. Loads.

2.  Not every white person likes country music just the same way that not every black person likes hip-hop music.  Shocking, I know.  Readers?  How many of you are white and hate country music?

3.  There is absolutely NO QUESTION that this city’s black population is faced with a huge gap in income, education, and other important areas.  Hell, black individuals even get sent to prison for drug offenses at rates much higher than whites do, 27 times the rate of whites to be exact!  That is really scary and simply not acceptable.

But I think Mike Seate has done a disservice to the black population of Pittsburgh with this article, stereotyping the race as hip-hop loving, dirt poor beer men.  I have about a dozen black friends that don’t fit that mold at all who say, “I can afford to go to a Steelers game, but I’m too damn smart to freeze my ass off.”

4.  The title of the article alone was painted with a brush so big that Alan Faneca would have had trouble picking it up.  Will Mike Seate’s next column be “Diamonds too pricey for black families”?

5.   There is so much that can be written about the racial disparity that exists in Pittsburgh, and so much that SHOULD be written about it, but just picking an expensive item and saying “here’s a race that can’t afford it and I know because I went and I eyeballed it” is irresponsible journalism that accomplishes nothing … kind of like The Burgh Blog.

6.  If the NBA came to town (I’m not saying all black people like the NBA, I’m just trying to give you an example here from a sport with stats to back up the racial makeup of the fans), will Mike Seate be sitting in an arena much more to his liking?   What will he entitle his column after he sat in that arena surrounded by lots of black families who all paid about $60 for each ticket?

“White people hate the NBA”?

All right.  I’m done.  Let me have it, Burghers.  Show me the error of my thinking.

(h/t Spoon)

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My humps.


Mayor Luke Ravenstahl today asked City Council to grant UPMC tax credits in the amount of money it donates to the Pittsburgh Promise, a program to give college grants to city high school students who meet minimum grade requirements.

Question: Should I be going:

A:  Yes, Lukey, that is a great idea to reward UPMC for doing a great thing in promising $10 million a year for ten years to the Pittsburgh Promise and maybe it will encourage other nonprofits with shitloads of money to donate to the Pittsupmcburgh Promise.  Good job, Lukey!

B.  God, Lukey.  Once again, you are a sad puppy dog so desperate for love that you’ve taken to eagerly dry-humping the leg of UPMC, a nonprofit organization that made $618 million in profit on total revenues of $6.8 billion in just three quarters. I don’t believe for one nanosecond that you came up with this idea all on your own.  No, what happened was Jeffrey Romoff walked into your office and said, “Lemme tell you what’s going to happen, kiddo.  You’re going to make it ‘last-dollar’ money, the kids have to go to school here in the state because I ain’t paying for the education of anyone’s workforce but my own, and if this city ever has the gall to tax the nonprofits, you better credit me for this incredibly selfless deed I’m doing here.  Understood?  Why are you humping my leg again?  Heel, boy.  Go fetch me a warm pile of money.”

I sure hope it’s not A, because I’m B all the way.

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What they’re really thinking: The Black Screen of Death Edition

I must begin this post by telling you that I only laid my eyeballs on about two quarters of this game because of something that happened to my family yesterday during a Toyota commercial early in the second quarter. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. That’s right. My satellite went out.

I could get every channel but the local channels and you know what was playing on a local channel? The Steelers game. Know what was playing on the non-local channels? Not the Steelers game, people.

At first the screen was just a mocking black screen of death, and then Direct TV must have been deluged with phone calls, hopefully all of them from angry Steelers fans because after ten minutes of us missing the game, we saw this:

Sorry?! Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Direct TV. I’d like an apology written in YOUR BLOOD!

After reading it, sister of PittGirl said this:

Yes, even though I’m one of those people that when playing the word association game and you say Comcast, I will scream out SUCKS! at the top of my lungs, I would have right then and there starred in a commercial for the cable pig all, “Cable works.”

We were forced to experience the majority of the second half of the game while listening to my brother-in-law do shitty play-by-play while madly clicking the refresh button on the Yahoo game tracker page all the while cursing Direct TV and everyone who has ever existed that had anything to do with the future invention of Direct TV including Ben Franklin and Thomas Edison.

1st and ten.

2nd and ten. Ben incomplete down the middle.

3rd and ten. Ben incomplete to the left.

Interception by Anthony Smith! Anthony Smith has been forgiven!

Touchdown Steelers!

Extra point conversion is good and thrown by CEDRIC WILSON?! We’re missing this!! This game is taking place 30 minutes away and we can’t SEE IT!!

Oh, my GOD! Troy Polamalu’s pants just fell off!

Swear to God he said that, knowing my sister and I would be all, “What?! We’re missing Troy Polamalu’s naked ass?!?! Noooooooooooooooooooo!”

So my family stood crowded around the computer monitor freaking out when the game was finally all tied up, promising Jeff Reed the sluttiest of sluts if he would win it for us, and then being all “sadcakes” as Julie Gong would say, when it said “4th and 7. Completed pass to Heath Miller for a six-yard gain. First down Jacksonville.”


Now, what I did see:

1. My sister giving the TV the bird every chance she could.

2. I saw Troysus give an inspired performance, complete with self-sacrifice, gorgeous tackles that upended Jags at exactly the right moment, and a beautiful leap in the air that forced the Jags to punt. It was awesome to behold.

Speaking of Troysus, did you read this?

“It’s crazy,” Polamalu said. “Am I supposed to make a play here” — he tapped the center of the cafeteria table — “when I make this amount of money and make plays here, here, here and here” — he tapped the four corners of the table — “because I make more? That’s just crazy.”

Not that the expectations change how Polamalu plays.

“I have to play the same techniques if I’m playing for free or for Bill Gates money,” he said. “It’s not like I see the ball coming and it’s green and I’m thinking, ‘I’ve got to make this play because I make the most money.’

“People can expect anything they want. My expectations for myself are always going to be higher. They can throw cups at the television when I get beat, but it hurts me 100 times worse.”

Aw. Troysus, we don’t throw cups at the television, we throw trash in peoples’ lawns, honey.

But not yours. No. Way.

3. And now, here it is at nine o’clock at night and my brain is going GRCK! every time I try to caption a picture because I DIDN’T SEE THE IMPORTANT PARTS OF THE GAME, DIRECT TV!!

So that’s all I can give you today. If you have a problem with that, you know what will make you feel better? Two things:

  • A PittGirl t-shirt.
  • A dead pigeon.

Make it happen.

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Random n@.

1. Steelers post coming later this afternoon. Sit tight, kiddies. Sit tight.

2. The PittGirl shirt is now available in a black and gold men’s long-sleeved tee, as well as some sweatshirt hoodies.

You have 18 days to purchase your shirt before they’re gone forever and ever, amen.

3. Do you all remember “that which we don’t speak of“? Yeah, Benny was at it again as reported in the Saturday’s PG, except now it’s his shoulder “that we don’t speak of.”

“You’ll have to ask coach [Mike] Tomlin on that one,” Roethlisberger said when asked if his shoulder was still sore.

Roethlisberger was asked several times about the specifics of his injury, including whether he was able to throw deep passes at practice and each time he answered, “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask coach Tomlin on that.”

He didn’t know if his shoulder was sore and he didn’t know if he was able to throw deep passes at practice?

Was all of this secrecy some ploy to keep the Jags guessing as to whether or not Benny would play, hoping the element of surprise would have the Jags running around like pigeons with their heads ripped off? Yeah. That worked.

4. Oh, what can I say about this article about a woman that brought her husband’s ashes to the Steelers game? Nothing that won’t make me cry on my keyboard. Go read it. And this video here will make you bawl like a baby. Then again, I might just be PMSing.

5. One of the owners of the local has designed a poster for bar/restaurant owners who might be a little pissed about the drink tax.  Check it out.  (h/t Curt O)

Speaking of liquor, have you ever wondered about how much the PLCB sucks?

In Pennsylvania, all liquor license holders must purchase wine and spirits from the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board.

The PLCB charges a 30 percent markup; a “bottle charge” of $1.25 per bottle; a round-up to the nearest 9 cents ($21.82 becomes $21.89); an 18 percent “Johnstown flood tax” that was enacted in 1936 to rebuild that city but has remained in effect ever since; and the 7 percent sales tax in Allegheny County.

Let me quantify it for you.  They suck a whole lot.

Beyond the 30% markup … round up to the nearest 9 cents (who pulled that number out of their ass?) and add 18 percent from a tax that was instituted back in 1936?  Are we still rebuilding Johnstown?  Wow.  Sure sounds like somebody’s getting paid by the hour on that job.

(h/t April)

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Are you ready for some football?

So many things I’ve been wanting to post about the Steelers and I just haven’t found the time. Time: found.

1. Sports Illustrated has compiled their “All-Bust Team” AKA “All-Disappointment Team” and Troysus is going to be playing safety for that team, unfortunately.

Safety: Troy Polamalu, Steelers

Polamalu is battling a knee injury and he’s only been healthy enough to play in nine of the Steelers’ 13 games this season. But the truth is, for a guy who is rightfully considered the game’s best safety by many, he hasn’t been impactful when he was active. In those nine games Polamalu has no sacks, no interceptions, seven passes defensed, two forced fumbles, one recovered fumble, and 42 tackles. Those aren’t the all-star numbers we’ve come to expect from him.

My reaction as a Troysus devotee and a Steelers fan should probably be two parts indignation, five parts ear-burning anger, and one part I WILL CUT YOU!

But honestly, my reaction is more one giant ball of “yeah, he’s disappointed me, too.”

And it sucks that I feel that way. However, I should say that Troysus has disappointed me up until now. He’s still got the remainder of the season to show us the magic.

Let’s all raise a glass to the second coming of Troysus.

(h/t Still A Fan and Parking Chair)

2. Says Sports Central in their prediction that the Steelers will beat Jacksonville this weekend:

What’s of even more concern is the status of safety Troy Polamalu. Will he play? Or will he continue his quest to look like Rip Van Winkle? I’ve heard of playoff beards, but injured list beards? Come on, Troy. Get out there. There’s balding men that need to be reminded of their inadequacies.”


And there are a legion of women that would like to be reminded of why we fell in love with you … hair and game-making plays.

(h/t NY Luvs Pitts)

3. If Troysus does play on Sunday (I’m guessing … not.) he’d be playing against his uncle, the running backs coach for the Jaguars.

4. The Steelers helped some kids shop for winter clothes. Hey, look! My imaginary self-united husband Daniel Sepulveda is wearing glasses!


5. Here’s Steely “Giantest Vacuum of Suck EVER!” McBeam at the Steelers Brunch with Santa, looking like he’s thinking about eating that kid’s soul.

Any second now, that kid, thinking he’s bedazzling his cookie all by himself, is going to look up and have the biggest freak-out of his life.

And then Steely will eat his soul. The end.

6. I’d just like to point out this old picture of Benny because WHO THE HELL IS THAT? Oh, that’s a picture of Benny before he was drafted to the Steelers, before he tried to stop Martha’s car with his face, and before his enthronement as The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross.

Not bad at all.

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