The Jaguars are coming to town on Saturday and Fred Taylor is already making excuses now so that should they lose, he can be all, “See? SEE?!!?”
“That field is terrible,” Taylor said in a conference call with Pittsburgh reporters. “That’s a lawsuit pending. That’s ridiculous.”
A lawsuit? Is he going to sue the Steelers if the Jags lose? Will the next logical step be to sue the golf courses when you find the greens to be too fast for your liking? Were there lawsuits just flying all over the place back before the days of artificial turf? Will Taylor sue the Steelers if he sprains his ankle tripping over a divot in the field?
Can we sue Fred Taylor?
Judge: Fred Taylor, you are accused by Steeler Nation of being a um, let me see … I had it right in front of me. Here we go, of being a “whiny whiny bitch.” How do you plead?
Fred Taylor: Wah. Wah. The field. It is grass. GRASS, Judge! Wah.
Judge: Guilty as charged. You are hereby sentenced to three days of being Steely McBeam’s personal slave. Get out of my face, you whiny bitch.