Random n@.


1. Father Spoon emailed me his receipt from 3 Sons showing that they also are listing the new tax as The Onorato Tax. How do you think Dan Onorato is going to feel when he gets his first receipt listing the Onorato Tax?

2. The Penguins continue to own the ice, winning eight in a row now with their new rookie goalie, who is likely making Mark Andre-Fleury sweat a little.

3. KDKA has a new sports anchor Jory Rand, who lists his favorite program as “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” and his role model as “Bob Pompeani.” Boy, I don’t even have to write a joke, do I? That’s funny shit. (h/t Emily)

4. I’ve never wanted to kiss Bob Smizik. Until now.

Mike McDonald, Aramark’s Pittsburgh district manager, told Jonathan Silver of the Post-Gazette why the products went up more than 10 percent.

“In our industry we round to the nearest quarter for the speed of service. We don’t deal with nickels or pennies or dimes.”

The reason they do this, according to McDonald, is as a favor to the customer. “With the short service window we have at these venues it would just lengthen the time to bring customers through and create more of a problem.”

These kinds of deals give new meaning to the phrase “taxpayer-funded.”The taxpayers are paying twice: Once with their taxes and again by being asked to pay grossly inflated prices at the arena and stadium concession stands.

On its Web site, Aramark boasts that it “has consistently ranked since 1998 as one of the top three most admired companies in its industry as evaluated by peers and industry analysts.”

This is known as honor among thieves.

I think we need to buy and sign one of those huge greeting cards for Aramark. Do you think we can find one that says, “Thanks so much for thinking of us. You greedy assholes.”

Because we care enough to send the very best hate mail, right?

5. Ben Roethlisberger and Kim Kardashian dated?! (h/t reader tw in comment #757 here)

6. If your fiance wants a stripper for his bachelor party and you’re not really liking the idea, why not just surprise him with this local stripper? (h/t M)

I don’t think he’d be mad at all, why do you ask?


  1. Zsa
    January 11, 2008 11:01 am

    #4: With the whole favor to the customer/shortening the line BS, this reminds me of those annoying Visa commercials where everyone pays by credit card & the line is moving smoothly and then OMG SOMEONE IS USING CASH and brings the whole operation to a complete stop. Never mind that the people using the credit cards are probably not paying off their balances and will end up paying $40 for a $15 purchase after all the interest charges.

  2. Jonesin for Julie Gong
    January 11, 2008 11:14 am

    1. That would be hilarious…maybe he would autograph it

    3. Im surprised he hasnt been nominated as a Hot Burgher yet…

    4. “A-holes” is about right

    5. Ben dated Kim Kardashian? I wonder if that was before or after her sex tape?

    6. That he/she stripper might be at the end of a beatdown…a guy getting married…all drunk…has a stripper at his bachelor party and then SURPRISE! Good luck with that

  3. joey
    January 11, 2008 11:17 am

    Mmmmm….dogfish head.

    I hate 3Sons…can’t get out of there without dropping $50. Maybe if I go with Danny Boy he will pick up the extra 10%.

    Do any PAT buses run out that way?

  4. TrolleyRider
    January 11, 2008 11:20 am

    Going by their logic, if Aramark really cared about us they’d round every price up to the next dollar. On second though, who needs dollar bills slowing things down. Why not round up to the nearest $10?? Or just make everything cost whatever is in your wallet. That would really speed things up, no change ever.

  5. Bulldog
    January 11, 2008 11:25 am

    Conklin is sure on one heck of a hot streak, but he’s not a rookie, having played in his first NHL game back in 2001. He was signed as a free agent and he was with Buffalo last year.

  6. Burghthing
    January 11, 2008 11:30 am

    Well Conk (Or Hungry Hungry Hippo as Bourque likes to call him) is 31 years old and has 76 NHL games under his belt before he got here. He was the losing goaltender in the first NHL outdoor game. So he’s not really a rookie, but he is making Shero’s job interesting.

  7. pittgirl
    January 11, 2008 11:31 am

    Fixed. :D

  8. mis
    January 11, 2008 11:43 am

    Did you see the next cover of Fitness magazine with Crosby — oh boy!!!!


  9. unsatisfied
    January 11, 2008 11:50 am

    #1 — go spoon! I gotta get to that place on 19 — I pass it all the time.

    #3 — jory — is that REALLY a name???

    #4 — aramark, get in line behind onorato in order to kiss my fat, white, hairy ass.

    #5 — kk — yeah, I’d hit that. but, that stupidass show on e! gots to go. is bruce jenner really her stepdad? yow.

  10. pittgirl
    January 11, 2008 11:53 am

    Jory. Maybe it’s short for “Jor-El.”

    Oh, man. I hope so!

  11. Pensgirl
    January 11, 2008 12:12 pm

    Unfortunately, there’s just so much more to the Pens’ goalie situation than Conklin’s level of play. Ultimately, whether he would be allowed to stay up without going through waivers (I’ve seen conflicting info) and the fact that Fleury’s contract is up this year are major factors. The Pens can’t go into negotiations blindly, so Fleury will have to see substantial playing time when he returns. But if he underperforms and it becomes a question of making the playoffs now or evaluating Fleury properly for the future, that’s when things will get dicey. We just have to hope it doesn’t come to that.

  12. Pensgirl
    January 11, 2008 12:15 pm

    Oh, and on #4 – you can help Aramark keep those lines efficient by not buying any food or drink at games. I’ll pay out the nose for tickets, parking, and merchandise, but not pretzels and pop.

  13. Dawn
    January 11, 2008 12:18 pm

    Jory’s “Just the Facts” section looks like a Facebook profile, while the other bios look like… well, grown up bios…

    I don’t know if that free-spirited approach is endearing or annoying. I’ll reserve judgment until later.

  14. BBM
    January 11, 2008 12:20 pm

    Let’s be honest here, the reason Aramark rounds to the nearest quarter is that they don’t want to have to train their folks to count by ones or fives. It’s totally a cost-savings effort.

  15. jason
    January 11, 2008 12:24 pm

    the pro sports experience is an overpriced one. but then again, its freaky to see athletes jacked up on drugs tearing the cover off of the ball.

  16. TBM
    January 11, 2008 12:26 pm

    1. Great place and getting a collection of Onorato tax receipts also. Maybe we should all just mail them to the guy. Maybe with a frozen cow head? lol

    4. Aramark. Who’s pocket do they grease or who do they have secret pics of to keep getting these contracts. The level of service from their bunch of lackadaisical slackers makes you almost so sick you forget about the cold nasty stuff you just paid way too much for. Its everywhere. PNC. Heinz. The Igloo. Wonder what a real company could do in any of those places. Guess we’ll never know.

  17. Burghthing
    January 11, 2008 12:41 pm

    You got that right Pensgirl, I refuse to buy anything from those vendors. We eat before we go and drink a bottle of water on the walk up. Used to take advantage of the water fountains in the lower bowl, but they’ve turned the pressure down so low you can barely get your lips wet. Its sad when you can go to Pizza Milano and get a whole pitcher for less than a small draft costs you inside the igloo.

  18. Judy
    January 11, 2008 1:22 pm

    Do you think it was a coincidence that Onorato got the name search removed from the County’s Property site prior to this tax going into place?

  19. DW
    January 11, 2008 1:27 pm

    Remember JS Aubin “SeaBass” started 14-0-2 for the Pens and where is he now? No where, a journeyman at best. Fleury is the future but you gotta ride the hot goalie till he falters! It’s been a fun streak and Sid is a level above everyone else on the ice. He’s a freak.

    I usually have the tickets…whoever I take with me I get to agree to buy the beer. I usually come out ahead on all those deals.

  20. bellgirl
    January 11, 2008 1:33 pm

    A beer for under $5? Multiple beers for under $5? I can’t wait to come back to the Burgh. And drink one (or more) for Pitt Girl. San Francisco hurts my wallet.

  21. spoon
    January 11, 2008 1:54 pm

    DW, hate to break your heart but JS is in the new AMP commercials (aired during winter classic) and is playing for the LA Kings

  22. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    January 11, 2008 3:01 pm

    I think part of the reason you continue to see slacker concession workers at Mellon, PNC and Heinz is because they’ve been employed forever and are protected by the union. Teamsters local 249 I believe is their union. I worked as a concession worker at Three Rivers two summers during high school back in the 80’s and was forced to join the union or else I would not get called to work any events. Some of the people I worked with were extremely lazy and impolite to customers. Many could not make simple change (even with the assistance of a computer that tells you the amount of change necessary) so maybe there is some truth wanting to help the customer (but I doubt it). Once you worked your set number of events (it was 30 when I was there), it was pretty much impossible to get fired, even if you tried. (Some people try to get fired so they have an easier time collecting unemployment.) Also, before anyone goes all “you anti-union punk” on me, I have no real problems with unions. My parents are both union members, I’ve been a union member. I think in some areas they are great, others, not so much.

  23. Pensgirl
    January 11, 2008 3:13 pm

    Aubin isn’t comparable to Conklin at all. He was more like Fleury – young guy drafted by us and being “developed” as the goalie of the future. His hot streak ended because of a knee injury (he went down very similarly to how Fleury did), and the cards were stacked against him between the abuse he suffered from Barrasso and the yanking around Craig Patrick gave him. He never had much of a chance.

  24. KGC
    January 11, 2008 3:20 pm

    Re: The receipt…

    I may (?) be anal, but…

    Something doesn’t look right with this receipt. It appears as though the customer was charged 10% on Food AND Beverage.

    Where’s the 7% and then the 10%? Actually, I think the receipt, to be correct, to have 7% charged on all food and beverage and then an additional 10% on JUST the ‘poured drinks’. The mistakes that will be incurred by many establishments will be monumental.

    (Plus, 10% of $38.24 is $3.82, not $3.83. However, that argument gives credence to the premise of the tax, a premise I am unwilling to give.)

  25. joey
    January 11, 2008 3:47 pm

    KGC: alcohol (or food) from a bar or rest. is not subject to the PA sales tax.

  26. joey
    January 11, 2008 3:48 pm

    Well, technically, it is, but it is incurred upon purchase from the LCB.

  27. bucdaddy
    January 11, 2008 3:49 pm

    Spoon, I recognize everything on that receipt (and I’ve had most of ’em) except Orange Dot. What’s that?

  28. Ms. Caroline
    January 11, 2008 3:55 pm

    #6 – Is he/she/it brave or stupid?

    Drunk guys at a bachelor party finding out their “sexy” stripper is a dude? Yeah, that’s smart. And the easiest way to get your ass kicked.

  29. DW
    January 11, 2008 3:56 pm

    Seabass is in LA, indeed (after being in Toronto last season) struggling for playing time. I’d put the 2 together b/c they are both “journeyman” goaltenders, with Conk playin’ for Edm/Buffalo/Columbus and doing several stints in AHL. I’d agree JS was hurt by the Barrasso situation and could have been a good player for us, but it didn’t work out here and apparently isn’t working well anywhere. LA is dying for goaltending and he hasn’t won the job.
    I love Conk and what he’s doing! But Fleury is the franchise goalie, I think you’d agree. And when he’s back and fully healthy, they’ll ease him in to the rotation and he’ll be the #1 again. You always ride a hot goalie and Conk is the man. Whether he sticks w/ us next year will remain to be seen. He and Sabourin are very similiar, they’ll have to choose one of ’em.

  30. spoon
    January 11, 2008 4:10 pm

    bucdaddy, it’s a variety pack that I forget now what I picked up. Orange Dot is for pricing purposes. they use yellow, blue and orange to designate how much you’re paying. you can mix up 6packs there. I’ll post it later but I believe there were 2 Weyerbachers and some Victory.

    KGC, that’s just standard since they sell hot dogs there also. I paid for my chicago dog in cash.

  31. JamieO
    January 11, 2008 4:37 pm

    Used to live in Pittsburgh, now in the State College and working at PSU. If they implemented the Dan Tax here, you would see protests like it was 30 years ago.

  32. KGC
    January 11, 2008 7:33 pm


    DOH! Oops, my bad. Wonder if this receipt is all ‘poured drinks’? This receipt still looks odd, though. Maybe I’ll go to this place… for pure observation purposes only, though. :)

  33. bucdaddy
    January 11, 2008 9:53 pm

    Spoon, Got it. Are you aware Fathead’s more or less LOWERED prices at the Beer Union? Old policy = $14.95 first mix six, $9.95 second ($12.45 average). New policy: $12 off each mix six. I paid $11.70 for one Saturday, included Bell’s Kalamazoo Stout, Dogfish Brown Ale and other stuff I can’t recall right now.

    Also, I’d say there’s never been a better time for someone to open a bottleshop in, say, northern Washington County, for instance on US19 in Peters Township, and advertise “10% discount on all beers for Allegheny County residents!”

    Unless McGrogan’s in Canonsburg isn’t too far off the beaten path for most people to find (I assume they’ll sell you a bottle to go there).

  34. Arika
    January 14, 2008 12:02 pm

    ok so to protest danny boy’s tax…. i went over the county line to irwin. i’m so sick of this tax already! piss on you dan!