Would you drink this container of Tic Tacs, please?

Reader PGH Expatriate wrote:

Peter King said this in his Monday Morning Quarterback column at the end of December:

Is it my imagination, or does Tom Brady look more stylish 20 minutes after a football game than the rest of us looked on our wedding days?

This question was in Bill Simmons’ last mailbag on espn.com:

Q: I’m 6-foot-5, 250 pounds, and not even close to being gay, so you know the Pats are good when people don’t even look at me funny when I mention my man-crush on Tom Brady. Mostly, they nod in agreement. I think at least 60 percent of North American males must have a man-crush on Tom Brady at this point, whether they admit it or not. Think about it. You’re out at a bar one night with more than a few cocktails in you, and there’s Tom Brady, you get to talking, go out on the dance floor, and eventually you’re back at the booth and he leans in and tilts his head just a little. Who’s turning that down?

— Pete, Toronto

His point was, “What the hell’s WRONG with these people?!?”

Word. The only way Tom Brady is leaning in and tilting his head just a little and getting anything other than bitch-slapped by PittGirl is if Tom Brady is simultaneously wearing a Steelers uniform, waving a Terrible Towel, and giving a sworn deposition as to the cheating habits of Bill Belichick. And even then I’d be all, “Okay. But first, here’s a Tic Tac, thanks.”





30 Comments

  1. unsatisfied
    January 21, 2008 2:59 pm

    with brady’s track record of hittin’ everything in sight, I’m sure he make peter from toronto a very happy man.



  2. BBM
    January 21, 2008 3:01 pm

    The guys can have him. The Devil/Brady is nasty.



  3. curtO.
    January 21, 2008 3:03 pm

    Like Tom Brady? Woooah, hold it right there Trojan. 60% is a high number to be pulling out of your ass and speaking on behalf of the Men of North America.

    I’d say you would be lucky to find .1% of Steeler Nation men even willing to say Brady’s shirt is a nice color, much less let him lean in with a head tilt.

    Blaaaaa ~ Pete from Toronto. Keep that crap* up there.

    *by crap, I mean your horrible sense of judgement, not any gayness…because being gay is okay if that’s what you want.



  4. Ivan
    January 21, 2008 3:47 pm

    .1%? I think that’s too much, think .0000000001% of Steeler Nation and that fucking be better be under the influence of some fucking meds.



  5. Melissa
    January 21, 2008 3:56 pm

    Couldn’t agree w/ Peter King more. He has become, or maybe was and I didn’t notice it, a metrosexual. The funny thing is that other qbs or other various high profile positions around the league are “trying to be like Tom” too. Sadly, when they don’t look like Tom (who is very handsome regardless of his coach, etc) they end up looking liking asses:) As a female, I will say nothing is more desirable in a man then him being himself, but it was interesting nontheless this season to notice the change in folks who used to wear sweats all the time to trying to look like Tommy boy.

    Any thoughts from anyone regarding the big game?



  6. In Sewickley
    January 21, 2008 4:10 pm

    Yeah, Tom Brady is a girly man. He’s always looking pretty for those interviews as if he didn’t even play in the game. Wait a minute… I wonder if they’ve cloned Tom Brady?

    I hate Tom Brady.



  7. Pensgirl
    January 21, 2008 4:22 pm

    Who’s turning that down? I AM, MR. WEIRD CANADIAN DUDE.

    Even if he wasn’t evil, and didn’t play for an evil coach on an evil team – even that first year, when I was rooting for the Pats in the Super Bowl because I was tired of “The Greatest Show On Earth” bullshit,- that dude does nothing for me. He could be a Steeler…hell, he could be a Penguin, and my instant reaction to seeing him would still be “GAAAH! DO NOT WANT!”



  8. deebee
    January 21, 2008 5:03 pm

    I cheered for the Packers,Brett Favre is way hotter.



  9. pittgirl
    January 21, 2008 5:11 pm

    deebee,

    So much word. Favre can lean in and tilt his head at me any day.



  10. Pensgirl
    January 21, 2008 5:21 pm

    I third that.

    Green Bay’s been my secondary team since I started following football, and it’s completely due to Favre. I never thought my all-time favorite QB would be neither a Steeler nor a Pgh native, but ya gotta love Brett.

    Even if that interception that led to the winning FG was completely his fault.



  11. pittgirl
    January 21, 2008 5:59 pm

    HAH!



  12. Trish
    January 21, 2008 6:31 pm

    Tom Brady is not attractive. I’d do Peyton Manning before I did him. Hell, I’d do ELI before Brady.



  13. Matthew
    January 21, 2008 6:35 pm

    This is kinda like the idiotic Peyton Manning commercial where he walks into that house and the people there are just like ‘yeah, sure come sit down.’ If Tom Brady or Peyton Manning got within five feet of me, I’d deck them.



  14. Woy
    January 21, 2008 7:42 pm

    A co-worker has a man crush on Tom Brady. I make fun of him on a daily basis during football season.



  15. kkinLA
    January 21, 2008 8:13 pm

    I 4th the Brett Favre comments. WAY, WAY hotter.

    The salt-n-pepper hair, the bubba accent, the gun-slinging ways, the TOUGHNESS to play outdoors in the booger-snot cold…mama loves him long time! Give us one more season Brett! (hey. make no mistake. Black & Gold comes first. GB is my 2nd team).

    As for that ass-clown from New England. In a word. Ewwwwwwww.
    Have you seen pictures of him from about 5 years ago before he discovered velvet smoking jackets and hair gel? Um. Not attractive. Just your ordinary jock-o trying to be cool. And what’s with his hair? He combs it all forward in order to masquarade his GIANT forhead (or as we say, FIVE-head, because it’s so big!!!)



  16. Grossed out
    January 21, 2008 8:41 pm

    I am soooo ashamed to say that I had a dream last night (for the second time) that I was flirting/making out with Tom Brady. I think this is how Rosemary must have felt.



  17. deebee
    January 21, 2008 8:47 pm

    Wow glad to hear other members of Steeler nation pick GB as thier 2nd team.

    kkinLA,
    Love the bubba accent also. 60 degrees below and he didn’t wear gloves.



  18. back in the burgh
    January 21, 2008 10:37 pm

    Wow – more Packer fans (yep, 2nd favorite here, too)! My hubby is from that area and is a true, green-blooded Packer fan … last night was a miserable night in our house (almost as miserable as the night the Steelers lost, actually). I do love Favre, though. Love him. I think the cold was getting to him, though … that was just crazy cold. I’m hoping for another year, but I really would have loved to have seen Favre take down the Devil team this year. Oh well … go Giants, I guess. Blech.



  19. Still A. Fan
    January 21, 2008 11:09 pm

    well, as i try to tell people all the time….there is no such thing as “2nd favorite team”. i can’t wrap my head around that concept. now…if you would be all “ok, if the rooney’s sold the stillers and they moved in the middle of the night to toronto, who would your favorite team be?” now that’s a fair question and i wouls say without a doubt….green bay. it’s not so much that their game reminds me of us, but their town and the fight for the smaller market teams sure does…as well as the dedication of their fans. didnt the stiller fans and cheeseheads just finish 1-2 in some poll for devoted fans?



  20. BurghGal In PhxAZ
    January 22, 2008 12:15 am

    I was actually looking forward to the Cheeseheads coming to town since it wasn’t going to be the Steelers. Now we’ve not only got a dud of a game, but an influx of people with truly bad accents who won’t be able to pronounce the letter R!

    Brady haters will enjoy this link. I almost wish someone would Theismann his face so we won’t have to be subjected to his burgeoning modeling/acting career! Is that too harsh? :)

    http://misterirrelevant.com/index.php/2007/10/12/tom-bradys-hair-a-career-retrospective/



  21. jason
    January 22, 2008 7:27 am

    figures that that comes from a torontonian. tom brady is ugly. i dont know what it is with you women– toms brady and cruise look like characters from a cartoon.



  22. Ohio Steelers Girl
    January 22, 2008 8:01 am

    I just showed a friend that Tom Brady hair link. Her reply?

    “He’s beautiful”

    We are no longer speaking. I have got to find some smarter friends.



  23. Erin
    January 22, 2008 9:25 am

    Dear Pete from Toronto, a “man crush” is when you want to BE someone, not dance with them at a club and snuggle up in a booth with them. What you have is a “crush”.

    Eli is cute! Peyton is fug.



  24. Christina
    January 22, 2008 10:34 am

    I disagree, about this alleged hotness of Tom Brady. Every time I see him at a press conference after a game, all I can do is just bitch endlessly about his ridiculous, choppy haircut. Hi, you’re the devil, and/or a robot, and/or a devil robot, and you make millions of dollars. Better haircut, perhaps?

    Men just get all googly-eyed over his ability to be a champion football player. Now, if you’re imagining a situation where you’re at a club grinding up on each other, getting drunk and tousling his sweaty hair, it’s bordering on more of a homoerotic fantasy. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but don’t disguise it as a “man crush”.

    Also, speaking of mega-star football players, personally, I think that Peyton Manning, (mostly on his charm), is the hottest.



  25. Jonesin' for Pittgirl
    January 22, 2008 10:49 am

    ELI IS CUTE?!! Sure, if you like that fetal alcohol syndrome look.



  26. PGH Expatriate
    January 22, 2008 11:08 am

    And he is into goats:
    http://www.boston.com/yourlife/home/stylephile/4857860.jpg

    Poor goat. She has probably already been cast aside and left to raise her little baby brady goat all by herself.



  27. marco
    January 22, 2008 1:55 pm

    Tom Brady is so dreamy *sigh*



  28. Erin
    January 23, 2008 12:41 pm

    Fetal alcohol syndrome…haaaaaa!! You are awful.



  29. deebee
    January 23, 2008 1:06 pm

    Nasty Devil/Brady vs Fetal alcohol syndrome boy…,hopefully the commercials will be worth watching.