Die! Die! Me love killing, grrr.

So yesterday afternoon I’m walking up Fifth Avenue, as I am wont to do, probably singing some Taylor Dayne song in my head and wondering when jelly shoes will come back in style, when I see a crowd of people hovering around the entrance to the Soup Man shop because apparently it was grand opening time. No big deal. Lovely.

Then, I spotted him. Him. Him was standing near the crowd with a big sign that I never got to read. Probably it said something like, “Hi. I’m the giantest vacuum of suck ever. Trademark PittGirl.”

That’s right.

Steely McBeam was at the grand opening of The Original Soup Man’s new location. And as I walked by, there were women — grown women, hot women, normal women — saying things like, “Hey, Steely!” or, “What’s up, Steely?” as if they were very pleased to meet you how do you do? Instead of kicking him in the beam, if you know what I mean.

My point is this.

Steely didn’t die along with the 75th season. The costumes were not thrown into the fires of hell the millisecond the clock ticked to zero during the Jags game as they should have been.

No, he’s still very much alive, all up in our business, besmirching the good, strong, we-don’t-need-no-mascots-or-cheerleaders name of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

As I walked by, very aware that I couldn’t snap a photo because it would be too risky, I thought to myself, “Where, o where is a giant flock of angry pigeons when I need one?”


  1. Dawn
    January 29, 2008 9:52 am

    I was at the grand opening of that soup place at lunch yesterday and Steely McBeam was terrorizing every patron in line, including my friend. He put his arm around her and pointed at the items on the menu that he recommended to eat. For you PittGirl, I gave him the look of death and dared him to even try to touch me. You are right though..I even saw many other girls in line taking their PICTURES with him even!

  2. Sarah
    January 29, 2008 10:40 am

    *shakes head* I’m sad that he still exists.

    But I have to say that using the word “besmirch” in a blog post is pretty hot.

  3. Bram R
    January 29, 2008 11:33 am

    That’s the problem. If Steely McBeam did not exist, that would have been Max Starks shilling for the Soup Nazi. And that’s just inhumane.

  4. unsatisfied
    January 29, 2008 12:32 pm

    to mcbeam, I say, “NO SOUP FOR YOU!”

  5. Leave a Reply
    January 29, 2008 12:46 pm

    Last summer, on two occasions on the streets of downtown Pittsburgh, I saw teenage girls in jelly shoes!

    We’ll probably all be wearing them this summer.

  6. Pensgirl
    January 29, 2008 1:52 pm

    PG, jelly shoes came back around already. Saw some Stuart Weitzman jellies in Nordstrom in ’06, I think, for like $500 or some god-awful price.

    I never saw anyone wearing any, though.

  7. cultlord
    January 29, 2008 5:35 pm

    Ate there today and waited for the lunch rush to die down. Unfortunately there were out of a few things (Lobster, Crab and Shrimp bisque) so settled on the Chicken Chili which was good.

    The line was a problem because, like most commoners, nobody read the sign at the door which said what soups were available. That and only having one register.

  8. JamieO
    January 30, 2008 11:06 am

    I loves my former home, but opening the Soup Nazi place now reminds me of the old joke about the Burgh….here is a version I heard in 1999:

    Why aren’t people in Pittsburgh more worried about the Y2K issue?

    Because like everything else, it won’t get here for another 10 years.

    As for old Steely, his homicidal maniac expression reminds me of one of the Craig’s List ads that Our Girl Pitt posts in this blog.

  9. justretiredguy
    January 30, 2008 7:38 pm

    Maybe they are getting Steely McBeam confused with Steely Dan..And I don’t mean the band.