Monthly Archives: January 2008

Pooping sausages.

The latest exhibit at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History in Oakland is all about waste.

There’s much to learn in the world of feces, and you can get educated by stopping by the museum.

“Some people may hear about this exhibit and think it sounds gross or weird or funny, and they’re right, it’s all of that,” said Ellen James of the museum. “But you’re actually going to learn a lot about the science of poop.”

1. This is such a coincidence because just the other day I said to myself, “PittGirl, you know what you don’t know enough about? Poop!”

2. Can I ask? Shouldn’t this have been an exhibit at the Science Center and not so much the Museum of Natural History? What’s up with that?

3. The best part of the video might be the camera panning from the phrase “Number Two” right on over to poor poor Andrew Stockey.

4. Watch Ms. James in the video as she actually utters that “science of poop” phrase. You can see she just kind of chokes on the word, probably thinking here I am on the local news standing across from smoking hot Andrew Stockey and I’m about to say the word poop. Here I go. POOP!

5. Poop is a funny word.

6. Not as funny of a word as sausages though.

7. I dare you to say sausages six times in a row and NOT break into a smile.

8. Told ya.

(h/t to Randy)


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Random n@.

1.  My 90’s/late 80’s kick is in full force now.

I Tivo’d and watched Mannequin this weekend.  Then, while watching PopUp Video, I saw a commercial informing me that VH1 Classic has just about every video ever from that period on-line in convenient format.  So I spent an hour or five cruising through some old Bon Jovi (Bed of Roses!), some old Paula Abdul (Straight Up!), some old Martika (Toy Soldiers!), some old Madonna (Take a Bow!), and if I told you I didn’t, would NEVER, watch an old Michael Bolton video, pshaw, I’d be lying through my teeth (Said I Love You But I Lied!).

Then, readers started emailing me that New Kids on the Block were reuniting(!).  And try as I might to be all, “Meh.  They’re so old, now.” I couldn’t help the internal SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE! that rose within me.

I’m completely stoked for it.

Squee.

It’s definitely a crisis.  Help me.

(h/t Barb, Emilie, Alexis)

2.   There’s a new Yappin Yinzer, Nebby Debbie, with some of the most awesome mall-hair bangs ever.  ‘Sgoinon?

(h/t BurgherinArkansas)

3.  So I watched this hilarious video that fully illustrates the pure deliberate evilness of some birds and I can’t decide if I’m all this:

Or if I’m all this:

I’m both.

(h/t Ed)

4.   My new anthem!  A snippet:

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an’ hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun’s shining bright,
Ev’rything seems all right,
When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

Here pigeon, pigeon, pigeon.  It’s just a peanut.

(h/t Tony)

5.   Assuming they are still dating, Sonni Abatta’s boyfriend is back in the Burgh.

6.  It’s old, but new to me.  Sid the Kid and the Gatorade commercial.

7.  Speaking of commercials, have you see this one?  OMG I think I laughed for five straight minutes at it.

8.  Here’s a David Conrad tribute video on YouTube and you’ll notice that they stuck my picture of him in there (1:35). Man, you are really hard up for some pictures of David Conrad if you go with the grainy, half-face camera phone shot.


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Riiiiiiip.

You must check out this local BMW commercial filmed with some of our Penguins which I found at Deadspin.

It is the worst-acted, cheesiest piece of cheese you will ever see.

Why the hell wasn’t I consulted on this?! You want the Penguins to sell cars for you?

Here ya go:

Colby Armstrong to camera: [ripping oxford shirt off with force, popping every button simultaneously] I’m Colby Armstrong.

Evgeni Malkin to camera: [tearing t- shirt off from the collar down] Привет, я – Евгений Молкин

Sergei Gonchar: [already shirtless] I’m Sergei Gonchar

All together: [placing their hands on their jeans’ zippers] Come down to A&L BMW and maybe we’ll take our pants off.

See how easy that was?! I wrote that in like six seconds.

Sure, men won’t really go for it, but who gives a damn?!

SHIRTLESS PENGUINS!!! Holla.


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Random n@.

1. I am suddenly on like a 90’s kick or something. Maybe late 80’s/early 90’s. I don’t know.

All I know is that I have season-passed Pop Up Video on VH1 Classic (Danger Zone! Kenny Loggins!), have found myself really enjoying the hell out of some Wham! songs on 92.9 (WTF, I know), and this afternoon, I caught a Savage Garden song on the radio and was tearing down the Parkway all, “TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY DO-OOO!”

I also have the sudden urge to watch, Girls Just Want to Have Fun (“Eat flame, Bozo!”).

Am I having a crisis?

2. Here’s a tip. Don’t drink and play chess because you might whip out a gun or something.

Chess. Violence. WHO KNEW?

Maybe they were upset about Bobby Fischer dying?

3. Troysus backed out of the Pro Bowl. Meh. My passion for Troysus is at an all-time low. Thank God I never self-united to him.

4. So there’s this whole brouhaha between Hines and The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross (man, it feels good to type his full name out occasionally) because Benny said he wanted a tall receiver in the draft and also said that Hines is lying about his height.

Go here and read about it if you’re unaware.

Anyway, Hines said:

“All these other guys are playing 12, 13 years and still going strong. Why can they go strong and ‘Hines Ward will be the one to fall off.’ I never could fathom that. There will always be question marks around me because I’m not the prototypical guy, not flashy. But I’ve shown you what I can do when they pass the ball.”

Who are these people throwing giant punctuation at Hines Ward? I think they live in Hines Ward’s head.

Also, Hines, calm the heck down. The Rooney’s and Tomlin don’t give a rat’s ass what Benny wants. If they did, Alan Faneca would be signed and Russ Grimm would be coach.

(h/t NY Luvs Pitts)

5. That third picture in particular? My nightmare. Alive on Earth. Waking up in your own bed with a pigeon sitting on your shoulder. Satan couldn’t script that any better.

(h/t Scott)

6. I am not a cat person. But I would SO be this cat’s person. (h/t Amber)

7. “… yeah, so shoot me an email if you want to hang.  Also, THIS picture should just about make you hot for me. BAM!”


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Gah!

The Elizabeth Township Sanitary Authority, which illegally has allowed millions of gallons of raw sewage to flow into the lower Youghiogheny River during the past five months, has been ordered to reduce and eventually stop the overflows.

The authority also must submit to the Health Department by March 20 a plan and schedule for the complete elimination of the sewage overflows, which continue to occur on a daily basis.

Eventually stop? EVENTUALLY STOP!?!?

That’s like me saying, “Hey, you pigeon currently pecking my eyeball out? Yeah, would you please eventually stop doing that? In fact, if you could just reduce your pecking to maybe five pecks per second, that would be grand. And then maybe after you’ve chewed my ears off and shit upon my forehead … maybe then you’ll consider submitting a three-page type-written plan about how you plan to stop? I’d be much obliged. Ow.”

This is why I could never have a job in the public sector because if I’m in a position of power and someone tells me that the Elizabeth Township Sanitary Authority has been pumping raw sewage into the Yough for months and does not currently have the capacity to stop doing it and how do I want to deal with that literal shit?

Nuke the plant.

Me love killing, grr.


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