Criminals are still hilarious.

From the police blotter:

Randall Allan Cook, 39, of New Castle waived a Jan. 19 hearing on charges of retail theft and receiving stolen property. Cook is accused by Cranberry police of stealing $187 worth of razors from the Wal-Mart in Cranberry on Jan. 9. Shannon Marie Koscinski, 24, of New Castle also waived a hearing on retail theft charges in the same incident. Koscinski is accused by Cranberry police of waiting in a car outside of the Wal-Mart on Jan. 9.

Going to jail for stealing razors? Going to jail for being the lookout and getaway during a razor-stealing spree?

Smart. Next time, grab some spatulas while you’re at it.

Also:

Danielle Marie Getz, 28, of Freeport Street, Etna, waived a hearing Jan. 24 on charges of disorderly conduct, possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia. Etna police said they found Getz in possession of a large amount of marijuana, a digital scale, suspected cocaine and carrying $1,029 in her cleavage. Police said she injured an officer’s hand while resisting arrest.

He probably got his hand caught in her obviously enormous cleavage.





16 Comments

  1. Sean
    February 7, 2008 10:12 am

    Razors are pretty expensive, so I understand why someone might want to steal them. Not the smartest thing to do, but a 4-pack of Gillette Sensor 3 is about $9.



  2. unsatisfied
    February 7, 2008 10:15 am

    hey, do you know what the value of razors are on the black market?

    now, I know why I don’t step foot in the cranberry wal-mart — too whack.

    and, wow — over a grand in her cleavage? now, she and I need to par-tay — when she gets out of jail, of course….



  3. the violet
    February 7, 2008 10:21 am

    unsatisfied is right on the money…People will steal razors then take them to flea markets and sell them to vendors for drug money. I used to get dragged to those darn flea markets EVERY weekend as a kid against my will. I can’t stand ’em.



  4. BagitTagit
    February 7, 2008 10:31 am

    I just keep wondering what if the stories were merged and Ms. Getz was hiding the $187 worth of razors in her cleavage…

    That would stink.



  5. bucdaddy
    February 7, 2008 10:51 am

    I can top that. Twice.

    In January 2007, Terrence Ross, of Morgantown, knocked on a woman’s apartment door and forced his way in when she answered, police said. Armed with a knife, Ross demanded money and made off with the woman’s purse.

    The woman’s roommate was placing an order on the telephone with Are You Hungry? Grill and Wings at the time and told the restaurant employees to call 911. The employees thought the woman was joking ..

    Shortly thereafter, Ross came into Are You Hungry?, ordered a large amount of food and tried to pay for it with the woman’s credit card … The employees knew the woman and put two and two together …

    The other incident occurred in June. Ross called a woman he knew to borrow money for his gas bill. She was at work and couldn’t lend him anything …

    The woman returned home to find her place had been broken into and her computer and a variety of electronic items stolen.

    She called the police. Ross eventually put the items back in her backyard because the pawn shop was closed …

    Ross (pleaded no contest and) is free on $60,000 bond pending sentencing.

    FROM: The Dominion Post, Morgantown, Feb. 6

    Ain’t he cute?



  6. coach99
    February 7, 2008 2:16 pm

    I bet you the razor theives spend more time in jail than the durg dealer.
    BTW ..I guess finding that money in the clevage is good example of a real drug bust.



  7. coach99
    February 7, 2008 2:17 pm

    I bet you the razor thieves spend more time in jail than the drug dealer.
    BTW ..I guess finding that money in the clevage is good example of a real drug bust.



  8. Sofa King
    February 7, 2008 2:51 pm

    The REALLY impressive thing that the story leaves out is that the $1029 was all in pennies, dimes, and nickels.



  9. MountaineerHoo
    February 7, 2008 4:39 pm

    bucdaddy — Oh bless The Diminishing Post for the joy it provides — ha! When I worked there, we would have a grand time laughing at stupid criminals, among other things. It comforts me to know that some things haven’t changed after I left.



  10. DW
    February 7, 2008 4:59 pm

    going to my cranberry wal-mart does wonders for the ego…i leave there thinking i’m the worlds smartest, wealthiest and most attractive man.



  11. bucdaddy
    February 7, 2008 8:18 pm

    MHoo, If you worked there in the past 20 years I prob. know you. Hints?



  12. Katrina
    February 7, 2008 10:55 pm

    If I had that much cleavage, I would TOTALLY put as much money in it as possible. Just because I could.



  13. Brian
    February 8, 2008 8:42 am

    Whatever you want, Danielle Getz! Ahahaha! OK, that was sucked. I think when you’re resorting to “Lethal Weapon” humor it’s time to take a nap.



  14. Brian
    February 8, 2008 8:47 am

    It’s even better that I didn’t edit myself and wrote “that was sucked.” I love you, Friday.



  15. MountaineerHoo
    February 8, 2008 5:22 pm

    bucdaddy, I worked there as a copy editor a couple years ago. Know me?



  16. bucdaddy
    February 9, 2008 1:54 am

    That you, Wendy?