Monthly Archives: February 2008

Random n@.

1. I said “slippy” twice yesterday. I NEVER say “slippy” mostly due to the fact that when I went to college I made a very intentional effort to lose my Burgh accent and to banish certain words from my vocabulary. Words like gumband, buggy, yinz, redd up, pop, slippy. I got tired of the odd looks, ya know?

That was then. This is now. Once you leave the Burgh and come back, you come back more of a Burgher than when you left. You come back and you EMBRACE those words and you throw them around proudly. I am a Burgher. Hear me raw-wer!

So while I unintentionally almost never use Burgh words in my everyday speaking, yesterday, slippy just kept slipping out.

I think maybe subconsciously I’m honoring the late, great Myron Cope and that very inherent, lovable, embraceable Burghiness that he carried in his heart and proudly let be heard by anyone that was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of his spoken word.

Two things that Burghers far and wide are emailing me:

  • We must get our Terrible Towels out of our closets and fly them now.
  • There must be a statue.

I agree.

2. EDIT: Darn it! It’s been removed.

Square peg. Round hole. Date with PittGirl.

It made me laugh, you guys.

(h/t Blee)

3. I wonder, can I hire this guy to follow me around everywhere I go? “There’s a pigeon, sir. There’s a pigeon. There’s five pigeons. There’s a pigeon pecking at my eyeball. There’s a pigeon trying to take a camera phone picture up my skirt.”

(h/t The Mysterious M)

4. So a casting agency was fired from the Shelter movie for seeking people to populate a fictional town with a “West-Virginia holler” feel. Particularly, they were looking for odd-looking children and people with an “inbred” look about them.

Too bad, because I had JUST THE GUY!

OMG. I’m kidding, minions. I’m. Just. Kind. Of. Not. Kidding.

(h/t DW, BagitTagit, and unsatisfied)

5. I can’t help but wonder if maybe Snowman committed suicide.

(h/t Tim)

6. March 20. That will be the day I walk out of the house in a cardigan, walk back in my house, take off my cardigan, hang it up, grab another from my closet and put that cardigan on. I’ll zip it up with a flourish and a poorly sung ditty about you totally need to be my neighbor, yo! Then I’m going to feed my fish that I don’t have, make a telescope with construction paper, freak out when Lady Elaine Freakin’ Demon Fairchild blinks at me, and wrap it all up nicely by teaching my dog a life lesson about the importance of washing one’s paws after playing in a puddle of his sister’s pee.

Won’t YOU be my neighbor?

(h/t Mel)

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Suddenly, it’s not a great day anymore.

Rest in peace, you incredible man.

UPDATING to say:  Now THIS is a funeral procession where it will be perfectly acceptable, nay perfectly FITTING to wave our Terrible Towels.

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Dear sister of PittGirl,

Good morning, sister! Today feels like a good day, no?

The snow is fresh and new and not quite so dirty anymore.  The air feels clean.  The city feels alive.  The coffee tastes like the right amount of crack.  My dog didn’t roll in deer poop today because he prefers his deer poop to be fresh and not frozen. It feels like a good day to look around our city, take a deep breath, and ask WHAT THE HELL WERE THE PENGUINS THINKING!?!

When you texted me yesterday informing me that the Pens had traded Colby Armstrong and Erik Christensen, I’m pretty sure you were crying, or at the very least on the verge of crying … and I bet you were already drinking over this horrible news.

This was my brain in the space of seconds after I read your text:

1.  Noooo!

2.  WTF?

3.  Really?

4.  Not Colby Armstrong!

5.  Does that mean they’ll stop playing that awesome BMW commercial?

6.  How does Sid feel about this, what with Colby being his best friend and all?

7.  We better be getting Wayne Gretzky’s clone for this!

8.  Where’s a kickable pigeon when I need one, damn it!?

9.  I bet the scientologists have something to do with this.

10.  When is David Conrad going to show up and comfort me?

So after texting with you for a bit, I ended up in Buckhead Saloon last night with my best friend for a quick drink just as the Pens game was winding down.  It was there I learned that the trade acquired us Marian Hossa.

You know, Marian Hossa?

I had no frickin’ clue who Marian Hossa is other than he is NOT Colby Armstrong or Erik Christensen or David Conrad or any of my husbands.

But today, I’ve read up on this newest Penguin and I’m pretty sure you and I will be in love with him by mid-March.  I’m halfway there already.

Don’t fret, sister of PittGirl.  It is going to be okay.  Also?  He’s kinda hot:

Check this out.   I particularly liked :40.



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Random n@.

1. Today is crazy. Tomorrow will be better. I promise. This Random n@ is going to suck donkey omelets, yo. Ya been warned.

2. So a teacher’s aide from the Highlands School District got caught in a hotel room with a bunch of youngsters and cocaine, a scale, beer cans, marijuana, and an empty condom wrapper. She’d like to know:

“Why is this a story?” she asked.

I can’t imagine why.
(h/t Paul)

3. Some Craigslist goodies:

4. Rob Biertempfel, the Buccos reporter for the Trib, wrote to tell me he enjoyed the blog and:

I can almost hear you growling over Kim all the way down here in Braden-town.

So I wrote:

Seeing that you’re down there face to face with the Buccos of Suckitude (and I say that with a lot of affection for the lousy bunch of losers) tell me, how’s the atmosphere this year? Winning-y? Any better than years past?

What is Kim like? Are we going to call him BK, too? Do you think he’ll make the team?

Huh? Huh?!?

And he wrote:

Yes, he responds to BK. No, he doesn’t appear to speak a ton of English (he must have apologized 10 times during our halting, six-minute interview). And as for making the team … eh, I’d say 60-40 (but that’s without seeing him pitch yet).

The aura around the club feels better than it did last year, believe it or not. More business-like. But there also is a sense of “If-I-do-well-they-can-trade-me-to-a-winning-team-Yippee!” that I get from certain fellas.

It is, as coach Tomlin would say, what it is. Don’t expect a .500 record. Do expect Jason Bay to be traded.

Will it be a fun team to watch? It will be, if you were a Sopranos fan. I watched the show just to see who would get whacked from week to week and who’d be around for the next episode. That’s how I’m guessing this Buccos season will go.

Also, if Kim makes the team, we’re losing the BK and we’re going with reader Sue’s suggestion Byung-YUM Kim.

Oh, yes.

5. I was reprimanded for not giving the boys a photo of Sonni when I last wrote about her. Here’s two oldies but goodies for YOU to growl over:

6. I HIGHLY encourage you to head to this old post and read NASCAR Lady’s latest comments. So now I have Benny lovers, NASCAR lovers, and pigeon lovers after me. If there’s a Benny-loving, NASCAR worshipping, pigeon farmer out there somewhere, I am SO going to be murdered.

Post over. Like I said, donkey omelets.

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Because the Post Gazette BEGGED me to

William Shakespeare,

Is that a dinosaur in your pants or are you just happy to see PittGirl?

Most excellent angle, PG!

(h/t Liz)

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