Lukey has enlisted a new detachment of soldiers in the War on Snow to attack its staunchly loyal allies, The Potholes:
1. Rich Lord loves me and that is why Rich Lord went with such a militarily minded headline. God bless you, Rich Lord!
2. And then if “City attacks potholes” wasn’t awesome enough, Rich Lord wrote this line:
[Ravenstahl] said 84 percent of public works operations staff has been assigned to the war on potholes, with the rest working on litter control.
Screw the war on crime. The war on drugs. The war on pigeons. The war on brain drain. The war on fat women in spandex. Lukey has chosen his war from which his legacy as Mayor will rise and he has chosen snow and potholes.
Mr. Ravenstahl said. “When we are not aggressively salting and plowing City streets, we will be aggressively attacking potholes.”
I’m not worried about Snow’s ability to withstand this latest onslaught on its land mines, simply because, holy shit, have you ever known a pothole to wither in the face of mere asphalt? Those sons of bitches laugh at asphalt.
Potholes are resilient, rising like the Phoenix, resurrected like Lazarus, ass-kicking like Chuck Norris. They’ll have your undercarriage if it’s the last thing they do.
(h/t BagitTagit and Sean)