Random n@.

1. David Cook and Jason Castro rocked my world last night on American Idol, so much that these two performers who were previously so annoying to me that they sat lower on my list than gum on the bottom of my shoe, have now risen to the very top of my list, drop-kicking David Archuleta’s adorable vanilla ass along the way. Brooke White still hovers very close to the top as well. I kinda liked Chekezie until he sang Whitney Houston. And now I can’t even tolerate him a little bit.

Also, I have truly been enjoying these two displaced Burghers’ take on the show.

Best comment this week was made re: Danny Noriega who was originally my favorite and is now sitting lower on my list than pigeon poop in my hair.

I really can’t handle someone who speaks in texting language.

OMG. LOL. Word.

2. You know that part in the wedding ceremony when the bride first enters the church on her father’s arm? Where she stands in the doorway and her wet eyes find her fiance standing at the altar. The part where she smiles and sighs and dreams of the happily ever after filled with rainbows and love and orgasms? Imagine this poor bride’s surprise when she finds her fiance at the altar with three little people who she’s never seen before in her life.


Also, if any fiance of mine pulled a stunt like this, after mentally scolding myself for being such a poor judge of character, I would march to the altar, kick the loser in the donkey omelets, flip his family off, grab the first semi-hot non-relative in the pews, kiss him hard, throw him back down to the pew, and head for Mexico. Let’s hope his fiance has as much sense.

(h/t The Mysterious M)

3. Reader Miss Lee sent me this link:

The Port Authority of Allegheny County has up to $1.5 million in coins and bills sitting in more than two dozen barrels instead of in a bank earning interest because it doesn’t have enough people to count it.

And she astutely questioned, if the Port Authority has millions of dollars sitting around uncounted, why the holy frickin’ heck do we need the pour tax!?!

Count your stupid money, Port Authority. Gawd.

4. Reader Lauren pointed out this hilarious and quite atrocious tattoo she found on the Asylum site that is also hosting the hot newscaster contest.

5. Trying to use my site for good sometimes and not always Benny-NASCAR-pigeon-hating evil has me posting this from reader Barb:

Hey, PittGirl,

My friend and her two children, one a toddler and the other just 2 months old, were the victims of a hit and run car accident on 2/27 at the corner of Broughton Road and Brownsville Road in the South Park area of Pittsburgh. She was basically T-boned by a tannish brown van, possibly a Ford Econoline or similar conversion van, older model. They rammed into her, shattering the driver’s windshield, then looked right at her and drove off! Her children seem to be ok so far, thank God, and she had only some rib bruising and some neck pain. She wrote down the license number as SVT 6930 but the South Park police said it was not a valid number. So she is hoping someone out there will see the van and the correct plate number. She believes it’s very close to the one she reported, though.

The people driving the van were 2 men, in their late 30s. If you see the van, please write down the correct license number and contact my friend at http://www.myspace.com/yup_it_is_maria or call the South Park Police at 412-833-1000.

So there you have it. Keep your eyes open.

6. Max Talbot and Marc-Andre Fleury were on fire last night. Leave it to Max Talbot to get an assist without even having a stick in his hands.

7. The Buccos of Suckitude currently hold the worst record in all of baseball for this exhibition season. .167 percent. They suck. Our hitting sucks. Our pitchers suck. The only one who doesn’t suck is Jason Bay and that’s because he BLOWS. I may be exaggerating a bit, but there is no way we’re going to even approach a winning season with this much suck going on. And don’t tell me, “But PittGirl, it’s just exhibition baseball!” because this exact same thing happened last season and look where the Buccos ended up. So far away from the .500 line they couldn’t have hit it with a long-range laser-guided missile.

My high hopes for this season have just about shriveled up and died.


  1. bucdaddy
    March 5, 2008 10:20 am

    I was going to make some snarky comment about “American Idol,” but the fact that millions of people would rather watch a manufactured karaoke contest than go down the block and give some original local band $5 just causes me to lose heart.

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  3. plexxer
    March 5, 2008 10:36 am

    #3: I wonder if Coinstar offers Giftcards for tunnel excavation companies?

  4. PittGirl
    March 5, 2008 10:42 am

    plexxer, HAH!

    bucdaddy, I don’t think it has to be an either/or kind of deal. Also keep in mind that some contestants on AI fronted just those kind of bands and are using this to finally break into the business.

    But, yeah, a great majority of AI is snark-worthy and I cannot help how much I love it. ;)

  5. Sooska
    March 5, 2008 10:42 am

    #2 I am wondering if little-people-groom is going to be “aloud” to live -little people everywhere should hire themselves out to him then kick the guy in the donkey omelets in front of his bride-to-be, the church and God. Maybe he will scream “allowed.”

  6. F-PAT
    March 5, 2008 10:47 am

    #3. This was in the news briefly a week or so ago. Where is the outrage? No wonder people are incensed at the obvious sham job rammed down our throats by our entrusted civil servants. Why do your job when you can force another sin tax down our throats and toss more $$$$$$$ at a bunch of idiots who don’t have the business acumen to run a corner lemondade stand.

    #2. On a lighter note, looks like your red-neck weddin’ folk got some competition comin’ here real soon like.

    #4. Just WTF?

    #6. Awesome! The Pens are awesome. Ride it all the way boys!

    #7. Shock and awe. Place your over / under bets now for the level of suckitude for the bucks this year. I’ve for .415 and the UNDER.

  7. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    March 5, 2008 11:43 am

    #7. And to think I was feeling good about the Pirates since the only thing I’ve heard about their actual play this spring has been from friends of mine who came back from a florida vacation to tell me they saw their Phillies lose to my Pirates.
    Also, I think when it’s the Pirates, you count the Manatee Community College win.

  8. C.S. Keys
    March 5, 2008 12:02 pm

    lol @ plexxer!

  9. Brian
    March 5, 2008 12:17 pm

    2. Son of a bitch. Now I need a new idea for a stage-show horror for my wedding (which isn’t scheduled or anything, but you know, I like drama). This the same week Jeff Healy died, costing me my dream cantor. Is God just hating on me specifically?

  10. unsatisfied
    March 5, 2008 12:27 pm

    #7 — like I’ve been sayin’….

    the succos are gonna get “below-.500 season, version 16” this year — I can feel it!

  11. NY Luvs Pitts
    March 5, 2008 1:38 pm

    In regards to American Idol, David Hernandez get’s to stay on despite him being a stripper at a club where he peormed lap dances to mostly male clientelle.


  12. John
    March 5, 2008 2:29 pm

    Of course Jason Bay isn’t doing anything. He’s Captain Complacent. Anytime the Buccos lost last year, he could be overheard in the locker room saying, “Oh gee guys. Buck up. We’ll get ’em next time.” And then he’d proceed to strike out with two runners in scoring position the next game. The Captain simultaneously sucks and blows. He’s that damned good.

  13. efw_west
    March 5, 2008 3:17 pm

    But John, Bay and the rest of the buccos “underachieved” last year. At least that’s the corporate line being spouted by Nutting and his soldiers. Hence the reason for no free agent signings this year.

  14. mis
    March 5, 2008 8:01 pm

    Mr John Bon Jovi did the song Castro did on AI last night and it rocked.
    Should be on YouTube somewhere….

  15. xena
    March 6, 2008 1:33 am

    I have one hope for the Pirates this year: that they will play the game of baseball according to the basic principles imparted from Little League onward in terms of base running and fielding. There’s not much that can be done with hitting and pitching suckitude, but they can field the ball, throw to the right base, keep track of the outs, know when and where to run, and endeavor to not be picked off because they aren’t paying attention.

    And a real achievement would be to impart this expectation to all levels of the organization, from the scouts and the minor league system to the major league manager. “We don’t have talent but at least we know the rules.”

  16. Adam Wyborski
    March 6, 2008 4:33 am

    But PittGirl, it’s just exhibition baseball!

  17. John
    March 6, 2008 10:57 am

    I don’t believe a thing that comes out of Bob Nothing’s mouth. And I guess the Pirates have been underachieving every year since 1993. And we’ll see if this is finally the year that the Yuccos actually do play fundamentally sound baseball.

  18. pro rider
    March 8, 2008 1:53 pm

    Idol fans unite! They sent the faggot home this week…whatever……!