1. You know that thing I said about maybe after such and such a date, I would find more time? Yeah, that didn’t happen. As it does every year, that springing forward shit kicked my ass.
2. So I gotta ask:
Is there any other kind of St. Pat’s celebration other than the drunken kind? Is it really celebrating St. Pat’s if you’re sober?
3. Future Smokin’ Hot Burgher Byung-YUM! Kim saw his first action yesterday against the Phillies where he gave up a solo homer on his very first pitch. We’ll call that nerves. He then retired the next three batters he faced. We’ll call that AWESOME!
Hey. It’s the Buccos of Suckitude. Every little bit counts.
4. Speaking of the Buccos of Suckitude, an email from reader Benny:
You’ll be the first to hop on the Pirates’ band wagon when they start to win. So you should stop calling them the Pirates of Suckitude or whatever you call them.
I responded:
Benny,
BUCCOS of Suckitude and holy hell, 15 years of losing = major suck.
What’s it to you, I wonder?
And Benny says (not to go all journalist on your asses, but edited for space):
Yes, I know 15 years of losing does make everyone think they suck. I am 25, so a big chunk of my life includes the Bucco’s losing. Please don’t think I am classifying the Bucco’s with the Penguins, but do you remember the Penguins of a couple of years ago? They flat out sucked and people hated them. I just don’t like it when Pittsburgh fans bash a Pittsburgh team. Ya know what I mean? I’m not saying you are a fairweather fan, but I can’t stand two-faced fans. Fans who boo you one second but praise you the next.
But I appreciate your sense of humor in all of this. I was expecting a smart a$$ comment back. And like I said before, when I check your site 3 months from now and the Bucco’s are 2nd in the division, you better not be like, “Root root root for our home team, a new Pirate generation everybody shout LET’S GO BUCS!!”
Thoughts:
A. THINK they suck? Benny, Benny, Benny. That is the very definition of DO suck. 15 years of losing = suck is right up there with E=MC2 and pigeons = Beelzebub.
B. 2nd in the division?! Are you smoking crack, right now?
Hey, I for one have always tried, tried, tried to stay positive about the Buccos, but this year, I’ve decided screw it! Maybe if I just keep saying how much they suck, Murphy’s Law will kick in and they’ll prove me wrong.
Bucs = Suck!
I’ve never wanted so badly to be wrong in my life.
5. Speaking of the Buccos of Suckitude again, Billy Crystal will play for the Yankees when they take on the Pirates this week. I think it’s only fair if the Yankees get to play Billy Crystal we should at least be permitted to sign Michael Keaton for a game. You know. Add some much-needed talent to the team at least for nine innings.
Anyone know where the bat-signal is?
(h/t PittCheMBA, who had the same idea about Keaton, and Leo my Facebook friend)
6. Whoever (Zober? Zober? Zober?) wrote Lukey’s March Neighborhood Message, in addition to refusing to write either the word move or forward (bite me), also must have had their “Word a Day” calendar stuck on the word “proactive.”
- I want to keep Pittsburgh a place that you are proud to call home, and we are taking proactive measures to ensure that you can.
- Working with the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police, we have answered the call to re-establish proactive police presence in our neighborhoods.
- We found that the existing process was too reactive. In order to confront the problem and make real changes, we needed to be proactive.
- I ask that you, too, seek opportunities to improve your neighborhood, to further enhance our efforts to proactively address blight and crime.
Either that or Lukey walked into a meeting all, “Billy P told me I need to be more proactive. Write some shit about how frickin’ proactive I am. I got his proactive right here. Wait, isn’t that an acne medication? Whatevs. Make it happen. Holla atcha late-ah. Baby Face out!”
