Criminals are the stupid-est-est.

From WTAE:

Police are reviewing surveillance tape to try to find the men who opened fire inside an East Liberty store Sunday night.

Police said the group burst into the Broad Street Family Dollar and stole a bag of M & Ms. During the robbery, one of the men fired his gun into the ceiling, police said.

During their escape, the men dropped the bag of candy, police said. No cash was taken in the heist.  Anyone with information is asked to contact police.

Thoughts:

1.  Someone REALLY wanted to try the new cherry M&Ms.

2.  It is a special kind of stupid who would risk jail time for a bag of candy-coated chocolate.

3.  Are these the same guys that stole the twelve spatulas?

4.   Do you think any of their planning of this “heist” went like this:

Leader of the Special Stupid People:  Okay.  Here’s how it’s going down.  We run in like bats out of hell.  Jay, you grab the M&Ms.  Bob, you shoot the ceiling.  Me, I yell some shit about “nobody move or i’ma kill you all” and then Jay?  Jay?  Yeah, then you drop the M&Ms and we make a run for it.  It’s gonna be sick.  Woot!





11 Comments

  1. Bill from Hanover
    March 17, 2008 12:13 pm

    Sounds like a Typical Pittsburgh Slug that belongs to some defunct Oakland Gang ?



  2. Pensgirl
    March 17, 2008 12:17 pm

    I don’t know whether to laugh that they went through all of that for a bag of M&Ms they didn’t even end up managing to keep, or to cry because people who give “stupid” a bad name carry guns with them to steal candy (have they never heard of simple, nobody-gets-killed shoplifting?) and actually fire said guns.



  3. BagitTagit
    March 17, 2008 12:39 pm

    Hello???

    Creamy milk chocolate?

    Crunchy candy shell?

    If you had a gun right now you WOULDN’T knock over a Family Dollar for that shizznit?

    Glass Houses PEOPLE!!!



  4. curtO.
    March 17, 2008 1:45 pm

    So I’m confused…was it the NEW Cherry M&M’s, or just the Peanut M&M’s as depicted in the photo on WTAE?

    http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/image/15619148/detail.html

    Peanut M&M’s, no robbery…I can afford the $.55 for a medium bag from the vending machine, or really splurge for $2.99 and get the mega bag…

    But Cherry M&M’s I haven’t seen in the store, nor have I looked…I like cherry, but probably not M&M flavored cherry…so I’d lean towards no robbery there either…

    Wait…what are we talking about?



  5. Windy City Steel City
    March 17, 2008 2:28 pm

    Maybe it was Elton John and the Truth.



  6. megan
    March 17, 2008 2:51 pm

    LMBO @ BagIt and Windy City!!!



  7. unsatisfied
    March 17, 2008 2:58 pm

    totally elton and the truth.

    (sounds like bennie and the jets…but, I digress…)

    one thing that gets in my craw: the word “woot.” where did that come from? I see it on tons of blogs, myspace, all that shit — but, I don’t know anyone who actually uses that word in spoken conversation.

    “woohoo” — yes.

    “woot” — no.



  8. Big Fan
    March 17, 2008 4:23 pm

    From http://www.urbandictionary.com:

    Woot originated as a hacker term for root (or administrative) access to a computer. However, with the term as coincides with the gamer term, “w00t”.

    “w00t” was originally an trunicated expression common among players of Dungeons and Dragons tabletop role-playing game for “Wow, loot!” Thus the term passed into the net-culture where it thrived in video game communities and lost its original meaning and is used simply as a term of excitement.

    “I defeated the dark sorcerer! Woot!”



  9. unsatisfied
    March 17, 2008 6:11 pm

    ha! I should have known that, somehow, D&D was involved.

    thanks, big fan!

    I think I’ll stick with “woohoo”, though….



  10. Still A. Fan
    March 17, 2008 8:29 pm

    the “creator” of D&D recently passed on.

    w00t? meh.



  11. Ed Heath
    March 17, 2008 9:09 pm

    What would you do for a Klondike Bar?