Random n@.

1. Well, my Sportsocracy [dot] org 2008 Pittsburgh Bloggers March Madness BRACKET has been submitted, and whereas last year I used actual information about the teams to pick my winners, resulting in what was it? Next to the last place? This year I went with my super secret rabbit in the hat, trump in the sleeve, pigeon in the grave. My shiny quarter.

Shiny Quarter took Pitt to the Final Four, where Shiny Quarter says they’ll lose miserably to UCLA.

Here’s Shiny Quarter sitting on my desk being all sage-like and wise ass-ish.

You’ll notice I didn’t use one of those new state quarters because I didn’t want my quarter to be biased toward any one team.

2. Are you guys looking in the shadows of that picture for my face? It’s not there.

3. Today is the first day of Spring and that of course means it’s colder than a witch’s windy tit. If you’d like to get a little MORE cold, you can head to Rita’s for their free ice giveaway!

(h/t Curt O)

4. Trafalgar Square in London, notorious for its pigeon population, has instituted some new pigeon control and thanks to reader Mark, we get to take a look:

Where can I get me a hawk to sit quietly on my shoulder until ordered to eat pigeons … only after torturing them for a little while?

Look at that adorable bird.

Don’t you just want to go up to that hawk and scritch its little chinny chin chin all, “Who’s a good pigeon killer? Who’s a good pigeon killer?”

Just me?

5. So there’s a Burgher in the South Hills who is seeking a woman who shares his same physical characteristics, as in looks like him right down to the body, face, glasses, clothing and mustache.

First of all, this can’t be real, right?

Second of all, how much of a batshit crazy narcissistic serial-killer loser nutjob is this guy?

Please phrase your answer in the form of “VERY batshit crazy narcissistic serial-killer loser nutjob.”

(h/t Cate who wrote, “PittGirl, brace yourself” but dang, I didn’t brace myself enough!)

6. Reader BagItTagIt wrote me to let me know that Dr. Pausch is having continuing kidney and heart problems and to top it all off, on his way to DC to testify before Congress, he was in a bad car accident. BagItTagIt asks:

“A car accident? Are you kidding me? I feel like Randy should offer up his dog to see if the Lord would like to kick it.”

7. So yesterday I informed Sister of PittGirl, she of the Sidney Crosby obsession, in no uncertain terms that she and I will be going to the Bryan Adams concert this summer and she was all, “I don’t know. What songs does he sing?”


I didn’t slap her or even do one of those V8 bonks on her forehead. I’m very proud of my self-restraint.

That’s almost as good as the time one of my friends picked me up to try to drag my ass to a Jimmy Buffet concert and I was all, “What songs does he even sing?”

Seriously. What the hell songs does Jimmy Buffet sing?


  1. Christina
    March 20, 2008 9:44 am

    5. Can you imagine the poor store cashier who had to deal with this guy buying two sets of clothes? With his being as creepy and weird as he comes off in this, can you imagine him in public? “This is for me…and this is for the other me”, and then laughing delightfully at his genius of creating another self with whom to hold hands and watch reruns of Night Court.

    My question is, is the woman allowed to have boobs? Because if she’s, you know, 5’8″ and over 200 lbs, she’s going to have a couple of large girls under her sweater. This might ruin the glee of having twin-self brother. I wonder if he will provide a complimentary binding service to the woman who is desperate enough to answer this.

  2. John
    March 20, 2008 9:47 am

    What songs does Jimmy Buffett sing? *sighs and shakes his head* Tell me you’ve at least heard of “Margaritaville” or “Cheeseburger in Paradise”? I don’t expect you to know every song by heart, but you have to have at least heard a few Buffett songs. And by the way, you can go to the concert without being any sort of Buffett fan and still have a good time. The best part of the whole day is partying in the (annoying ass gravel) parking lots before the show. Should I leave a ticket at will call for PittGirl? :)

  3. Cynthia Closkey
    March 20, 2008 9:53 am

    4. Beautiful plumage.

  4. BagitTagit
    March 20, 2008 10:01 am

    It reminds me of how mad I was getting every time one of the friggin American Idol contestants said:

    “Well, I didn’t really KNOW any Beatles songs, so I just went with this one.”

    Seriously. W T F?

  5. pittgirl
    March 20, 2008 10:04 am

    John, um, no. But I’ve been to his Margaritaville Restaurant in Cancun. Does that count for anything?

  6. the violet
    March 20, 2008 10:06 am

    OMG you totally called me out. I was so trying to see a shadow of PG.

  7. John
    March 20, 2008 10:13 am

    PittGirl, that’s close enough. Drinking Margaritaville tequila also counts.

  8. Christina
    March 20, 2008 10:43 am

    Jimmy Buffet sings old, tired songs for drunk people to dance around to out outdoor festivals. It’s better that you don’t know his songs. I think the best option, if someone wishes to drag you to Jimmy Buffet concert, is to play dead or feign stupidity.

    Sorry. I just hate his music.

  9. amanda
    March 20, 2008 11:28 am

    #5 – what??? this guy is divorced?? and he seems so normal…

  10. megan
    March 20, 2008 11:43 am

    I expected more Parrotheads (Buffet minions, in case PG didn’t know that either) to jump on your case PG! I love the heard-so-often “you don’t have to know his songs to have a good time at his concerts” line :D! I agree that its best to play dead and feign stupidity (or being high off some ‘major tree’) if forced to a concert.

  11. Brian
    March 20, 2008 11:45 am

    If anyone tried to drag me to a Jimmy Buffett show, I’d know right then and there this person is my mortal enemy, hates me, wants me to die, and wants to eat all the food in my kitchen as I writhe in agony on the floor. The fact that people go to these shows every year and dress like fucking parrots makes me laugh and sigh at the same time. YOU ARE NOT PARROTS OR PIRATES OR REMOTELY RESPECTABLE, YOU DRUNKEN BEACH SHEEP! Sorry. No offense, really. But why do you do the same thing every summer?

    Thanks PittGirl for NOT knowing his songs, and that Christina who posted before, I am basking in your obvious hotness and intellectual gorgeousness. What’re you doing later …?

  12. mis
    March 20, 2008 11:46 am

    Buffet Concert = the most friendly drunks assembled in one place – ever.
    Wish he would come back to PNC Park though.

  13. BurgherinArkansas
    March 20, 2008 11:47 am

    2. I was totally checking for a reflection
    4. Pitt Girl if you walk around downtown with a hawk on your shoulder you might just give yourself away!

  14. Pingback: You can’t win if you don’t play at My Brilliant Mistakes | Cynthia Closkey’s blog

  15. Mia`
    March 20, 2008 12:12 pm

    Not a parrot head. Went to the PNC park concert couple years back – horrid horrid horrid setup for a Buffet concert. However the concert it self (and partying in the lots before the show) was great! I didn’t think I really knew any of his music, turns out I did know a few, but even the songs I didn’t know put me in a “relaxing on the beach with a good margarita” kinda mood, so it was all good.
    As for why go every summer? Why go to the same club every month? Why listen to the same song more than once? Why go on vacation to the same place every year? Because it’s fun and they enjoy it.

    Oh and I offer to also get a hawk to ride around on my shoulder to give you a little cover for your hawk…
    That has an added bonus for me…my sister-on-law is TERRIFIED of birds and I just LOVE to mess with her about it.
    I can be so evil at times. :)

  16. REARless
    March 20, 2008 1:39 pm

    From the sage mouth of Eric Cartman:

    “The only people who like Jimmy Buffet are frat boys and drunk women from the South.”

    I concur.

  17. John
    March 20, 2008 2:49 pm

    Hey, hey, HEY! Enough of the Buffett hating, people! He’s not *that* bad.*

    *though I do have to agree that the people who wear literal parrotheads and coconut bras and such are total losers – I go to drink and hang with friends. The concert? Well, you can’t hear/see anything on the lawn, so it’s pretty much anti-climatic. But I’ll still be there in July. And I’m not a frat boy! :)

  18. joey
    March 20, 2008 3:46 pm

    Huh…for all the Buffett hating go on, its amazing that the concert sells out in 10 minutes every year.

    Odd, no?

    P.S.: Its true…the tailgate is the best part. Sorry…avowed Parrothead (just see my bumper sticker).

  19. Dee
    March 21, 2008 12:23 am

    maybe the guy from #5 should join MeHarmony…