Dear Troysus,


I had planned to take today off, I did.  My oldest sister is in town and I’ve been enjoying chitchatting and not going to work and just kind of drinking coffee and blasting the suck that is certain American Idol contestants.

But then I checked my emails to see if anyone had written me all, “Where the hell are you today, damn it?!”  Just so I could feel guilty about taking a day off, you know?  And would you believe that approximately zero people have written me that very question!?

Troysus, you’ve got me digressing here. 

There’s a reason I’m writing to you and that is this.  I want you to be very very very aware that while you might be growing that shittastic beard because perhaps your wife likes it, or perhaps because it gives you a modicum of anonymity when you’re out and about, or perhaps because you’re growing it for Jesus, that when I see you with that grotesque animal lying dead on your face showing me its rotting ass, all I can think of is that you, Troysus, the very epitome of peace, love, goodwill, joy to all men on earth, and NOT lopping the heads off of Americans, are looking very much like Osama Bin Laden.  While you may be able to make Jeff Reed’s hair look good, you cannot, under any circumstances make roadkill look good.

If you haven’t already, PLEASE shave it off before ALL of the hot goes away.



(h/t Kris)


  1. Burghthing
    March 27, 2008 2:45 pm

    Were you gone?

    /em ducking

  2. pittgirl
    March 27, 2008 2:47 pm


  3. back in the burgh
    March 27, 2008 2:52 pm

    For what it’s worth, I have been thinking all day, “Where the hell is she? How dare she take a day off. Doesn’t she know this gets us through the day.” :-)

    And yes, gone with the beard Troy.

  4. unsatisfied
    March 27, 2008 3:06 pm

    funny — before I scrolled down to read what you wrote, I saw that pic and thought that osama had become a ducks fan.

    hey, at least he’s a steeler who listens to and doesn’t beat his wife — he gets something for that….

  5. Pensgirl
    March 27, 2008 3:08 pm


    1. You’re not getting any emails because people checked the site a couple times and went, “Ah, she’s probably taking a day off. Deserved.”

    2. You forgot this:

    P.S. WTF are you doing wearing the jersey of, and posing with two of the players for, the second-most nasty-dirty-evil-gross team in all of hockey? Do you know their captain STOMPED ON A PERSON WITH HIS SKATE? That’s not zen! You know what’s zen? A penguin skating across a triangle, that’s what!

  6. BBM
    March 27, 2008 3:22 pm

    If you would get on the twitter bandwagon already, I would have harrassed you at least 80 bajillion times with a “Where the hell art thou?” I’m far too lazy for email.

    And, Troy, you really should listen to the wise and all-knowing PittGirl.

  7. bucdaddy
    March 27, 2008 6:11 pm

    That’s Troy’s nonconfrontational revenge on the No Fun League. They say he can’t wear his hair long out the back of his helmet? Fine. He’ll wear it long out the front.

    Take THAT!

  8. NY Luvs Pitts
    March 28, 2008 7:36 am

    Thanks for the laugh PG. I’ll check you out later today for some more.

  9. Kris Pav
    March 28, 2008 9:15 am

    Somehow I knew that you would just love that pic!

  10. dr satbir bhullar
    March 30, 2008 1:00 am

    I was referred to this site because a coworker thought I would find it amusing. After spending a few days reading this crap I don’t get it. Simply baffles me why The Burgh Blog is popular. It’s pretty much the same blog everyday.