Random n@.

1. Officially now, I can no longer even SEE the winner of the Sportsocracy March Madness Challenge. I’m that far away, mired in something like 366th place. Here’s Shiny Quarter, sweating it out, worried, wringing his hands, wondering what is PittGirl going to do to his lame ass.

Voodoo? Juju? A wishing well drowning? Bubble gum machine insertion? Bouncy ball machine? Horsey ride at Walmart?

2. If wearing a tie without a shirt underneath, making snow angels without a shirt, or throwing a football without a shirt but with a nice nipple pinch isn’t my idea of fun, it is CERTAINLY my idea of the perfect man’s idea of fun. And if he’s got a white square for a face? Hot.

3. Bobby and Carly have officially started the Fans of PittGirl Facebook group. As it stands now I have four fans. Try not to die from your jealousy. Also, as it stands now:

  • Jim Lokay’s group: 52 members, including PittGirl.
  • David Conrad’s groups: 34 members, not including PittGirl.
  • I Love Sonni Abatta group: 56 members
  • Pittsburgh Pirates are the Greatest No Matter What group: 33 members, all of whom I’d like to meet and smack around a little bit. Maybe tase them. I don’t know.

So get cracking. Because if I can’t beat Jim Lokay at that damn bracket crap, at least I can pretend I’m more popular than he is.

4. Did you guys watch the Pens yesterday afternoon? (Pens rule!)

Can I ask? Was it just me, or was Jordan Staal EVERYWHERE in the third period? Normally I don’t notice him because I’m too wrapped up catching glimpses of my other favorites: Malkin, Crosby, Hossa, Sykora. But yesterday, Staal was all up in my face, flashing his number 11 every which way I turned. Stealing pucks, making plays, just being there. Also, here he is without a shirt. Just ’cause.

6. I’m not saying this Steeler fan got what he deserved, but goodness, every member of Steeler Nation knows not to even jokingly insult the person that will be putting your meat between the bun.

If I’m about to order a hamburger and I know that the man that will be preparing my hamburger is a Seattle Seahawks fan, I’m going to do one of two things: 1. Not eat the burger. 2. Tell the cook that while I’m wearing a Steelers jersey, I in fact hate the Steelers and think that they totally stole SuperBowl XL from the Seahawks and I’d sign a petition to that effect if I was asked.

Be smart, people! Don’t eat loogies!

7. An email from reader Shannon:

Just wondering how you feel about the Turtledove..or Dove, if you will. In my opinion, they’re the white collar form of the pigeon. I just wanted your take on them.

Hmm. I’ve never really thought about this because yes, the word dove does connote a white bird, a quiet bird, a wild bird symbolizing peace and hope, a bird that does not peck at me or poop on me or fly low just so it can smell my hair before it pecks at me or poops on me.

Yet, my quick research is telling me that there is no difference between a dove and a pigeon. Just that the dove is basically a white pigeon.

So I say kick those bastards, too.





14 Comments

  1. DeutschtownFrau
    March 31, 2008 10:38 am

    Oh no, PittGirl! The turtledoves are beautiful, much more elegant than their dastardly cousins. They’re all Calvin Klein, cool beige and gray, while pigeons are so Versace — nasty and loud. And who doesn’t love to wake up to doves’ cooing?

    Here in Deutschtown there’s an old German church along I-279 North with a very steep roof. At each end of the peak sits a fake owl, and between the owls, most of the day, you’ll see 50 or so pigeons, sitting evil shoulder to shoulder, facing Downtown, plotting.

    Doves don’t do this. They just waddle around your garden, making soft noises.



  2. Bex
    March 31, 2008 10:39 am

    Being the die-hard hockey fan that I am, I do my reading up on the opposing teams blogs just to see their reactions to the Pens. This one got my blood boiling.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/rangers/2008/03/jagr-failed-pens-acting-classe.html

    It’s not the bad reporting, or the Sid-bashing. I can handle those things, as I read about them from teams all over the country. It’s the Mario-bashing that kills me. Oh, and this little number from a Rangers fan about our fair city and its citizens:

    “Im shocked that this many people in Pittsburgh know how to write…. and that so many of them drove to the nearest real city to get internet connection… Wouldn’t your time be better used down at the unemployment office?”

    So…who’s up for a pigeon-style death for this gentleman?



  3. unsatisfied
    March 31, 2008 10:49 am

    methinks we need to get the seahawks and rangers fans together in one room for a cry-off.



  4. PAGirlinFL
    March 31, 2008 11:02 am

    PittGirl – since you’ve weighed in on the doves – what about seagulls? Those burgers who have physically moved south, but still call the ‘burgh home will tell you that seagulls not only will poop on you, but are known to dive bomb…



  5. Mrs Pitsberger
    March 31, 2008 11:31 am

    #2. PG, am I seeing things or did you miss the giant, hot pink, drawn-in searing magnificence (and matching donkey omelettes) on the “snow angel?”



  6. Brother Anthony
    March 31, 2008 11:54 am

    Throw the quarter at a pigeon.

    We had a “lost” white racing pigeon camp out in my front porch from about September until January. It looked a lot like any symbol for peace I ever saw. It also crapped like the any other flying rat we know to carry diseases.

    I hope its mysterious disappearance resulted in some form of fatality.



  7. Kelli
    March 31, 2008 11:54 am

    As a former farm girl, I have to say, doves are just as bad as pigeons. In essence, they are pigeons. Every evil thing I have heard attributed to pigeons? I’ve seen doves do too.

    I’ll stop there – I’ll not repeat my detailed story of eating doves. But the ultimate revenge is a hot grill.

    (that is the one difference – country doves are cleaner than city pigeons or doves. I mean, I knew what those doves were eating. Our crops.)



  8. the violet
    March 31, 2008 11:55 am

    #4 You’re awesome. Very very very awesome indeed. He was probably playing his heart out to show up his bro who was on the other team. That was my take at least. Go Pens!



  9. DeutschtownFrau
    March 31, 2008 12:49 pm

    Kelli — as a city girl, I haven’t ever seen evil doves, but I don’t disagree with you about the virtues of a hot grill.

    One of my favorite restaurants in the world is Le Pigeon in Portland, Oregon. Its insignia is a pigeon posed like the famous bald eagle symbol, but instead of laurel branches in its claws are a knife and fork. The banner twisting through the picture says, “Eat squab.” Problem solved.



  10. Pensgirl
    March 31, 2008 4:23 pm

    Pittgirl, you were not seeing things at all: Jordan Staal was everywhere. He drew three penalties – one each to ex-Pens Michal Roszival and Marty Straka, and the one to Paul Mara at the end (after he assisted on Max’s insurance goal). He drew the first two in the Pens’ defensive zone, which means he had the Rangers on their heels when they were trying to play their offensive game. That’s marvelous work. Consider that <a href=”http://mirtle.blogspot.com/2008/03/elite-contribution-drawing-penalties.html”Sid is the only player in the league to average penalties-drawn at that rate, and you realize just how impressive it is.

    Bex, please don’t get mad at that stuff – that’s what he’s looking for. You know that Pittsburgh is a fabulous city, and that Mario and Sid are phenomenal talents and generous men. When you consider that this is a person who has voluntarily chosen to root for the Rangers – the Rangers! – you need go no further to dismiss anything he says outright.



  11. Pensgirl
    March 31, 2008 4:24 pm

    Ah, crap, my tag got screwed up! Here’s that link, done right.



  12. Robert
    March 31, 2008 7:55 pm

    You’re officially double Jim Lokay, and by tomorrow, you should have double Sonni Abbata. You are the coolest and most popular. :)



  13. Kelli
    April 1, 2008 9:06 am

    DeutschtownFrau:

    Agreed – the hot grill covers a multitude of sins.

    And I love that description of that sign. I want to travel now, just so I too can eat squab!



  14. insider
    April 15, 2008 3:29 am

    The only thing wrong with the pens is that one is dating an obnoxious news girl.