1. It is perfectly sane, nay, NORMAL to want to dance in the rain but to also be irrationally terrified of thunderstorms to the point that you need someone to hold you during them. Do you smell that? That’s bullshit.
3. “Change my oil, change my tires, chug a beer, spit on the ground, and tell me i look hot as you slap my ass and I make you the dinner you ordered.” I just … wait. WHAT?!
4. CMU! REPRESENT!
5. The Craigslist bathroom pic has reached a new low — the standing in your shower and hunching down pic. Ssssssexy!
6. I’m just posting this one because I want you all to know where I learned the phrase “a foul dwarf.”
God. That rocks. Now just to figure out who to bestow that title upon. Jeff Reed? I’ll accept other suggestions before the official naming.
7. Lose weight fast! Click here, look at picture two, and toss those cookies! I call it the Cookie Tossing Diet! I’m going to be rich.
8. Okay. I chuckled when I saw the title. I laughed outright when I saw the second picture. And I completely lost it when I saw his email address.
9. Looking for a chick who hates “people.” Just people. Gotta hate the people. (My super hot Facebook friend Leo was super brave and FURTHER mined this guy, finding him to be “The mother load of weirdness. The sultan of bat-shit crazy. The Great Bambino of Goth Hell.” The brilliant post finally descends into a YouTube video or two that will … well … did I say “brace yourselves”?)
10. Car amps for tattoo work? That makes sense. Also, that first picture. Is that the pregnant guy that was going to be on Oprah today?
(h/t Amanda who wrote, “At least he’s sterile. Am I right?” You are!)
11. I can only come up with a few possibilities as to who is seeking to hold two-hour hypnosis sessions with registered Democrats: the scientologists, the scientologists, and the scientologists. Flee!
Also, how much do you have to hate yourself to actually respond to that? How do you know that they won’t hypnotize you to kill Republicans when you hear a chicken cluck. Or worse! Cluck like a chicken when you hear a Republican! Augh! Did I say “flee” yet?