Usually when I post a police blotter story, I like to bring the snark. In this case, the snark brought itself:
Matthew J. Kerr, 34, of Cecil, was charged Friday with retail theft at Shop ‘N Save, Twin Ponds Lane, in connection with the theft of two boxes of Immodium AD and a container of baby powder. The stolen items are worth about $17.
(h/t CurtO who wrote “maybe he didn’t have time to pay, nature calling and all.”)