Was he in costume?

Steely McBeam’s reputation is now a bit tarnished. One of the men hired by the Steelers to play the mascot has been fired.

Kenneth Hahey, 24, of Mt. Washington was charged with drunken driving after he was stopped in the South Side in January, according to Pittsburgh municipal court records. His blood alcohol level was .166, according to a police affidavit.

Lockett said Steely McBeam will still be a part of the Steelers.

“We haven’t had any discussion at all about changing that,” he said. “He’s still going to be out there in the community uninterrupted.”

Thoughts:

1. His reputation is NOW a bit tarnished?! I’m sorry. Have I not done my job in ensuring his reputation as the dumbest idea, the scariest mascot, the most useless waste of space, THE GIANTEST VACUUM OF SUCK EVER!? I’m so disappointed in me.

2. “Uninterrupted.” What an interesting choice of words. That’s a challenge if I ever heard one. It’s now my personal goal to interrupt Steely McFreakin’Beam every chance I can. And I WON’T say “excuse me” first.

3. As a member of the Steeler organization, at least he wasn’t arrested for beating the snot out of his babymama. Of course, if he had been arrested for beating up his babymama, he’d still have his job. Bah-bah-ba! I’m here all week. Try the veal.

4. If the Steelers gave me $85,000 to be a stupid, ugly, scary, hated mascot — to just stand around and be a giant douche for only hours a week, I’d be a little bit smarter than this moron was about protecting my cushy job.

Wait. What am I saying?! If I were Steely McBeam, I would do my duty to all of Steeler Nation and kill myself in a way that would ensure that they NEVER found the body.

You’re welcome. I serve a greater purpose than myself.

(h/t Mark, Andrea, Liz, Patrick, Eileen, and all the other people I would die for)

Picture source.





23 Comments

  1. Sooska
    April 9, 2008 2:15 pm

    Hand him over to James Harrison or Cedric Wilson or Najeh Trenadious Monte Daveneport (I had to google his name for correct spellng and found this). End of story.

    The Pens playoffs start tonight for gawdsake! Iceburgh would have to answer to Gary Roberts or Georges Laraque if he did anything like this.



  2. toni
    April 9, 2008 2:19 pm

    PERFECT POST!!!! Can one of your imaginary husbands talk some sense into Dan Rooney???? I call him Steely Macstake. The only mascot we ever needed was a 5’2″ Jewish guy named Myron.



  3. spoon
    April 9, 2008 2:33 pm

    “4. If the Steelers gave me $85,000 to be a stupid, ugly, scary, hated mascot — ”

    I’d sit on my parents porch drinking Iron City and give everyone that passed by because I’m Steely Mc Fuckin Beam bitches and that’s how I roll. You don’t leave the porch to drink for an 85k/yr job. Then again maybe he DID realize that he was 24 and a mascot making that kinda change so obviously he was dreamin… or stoned.

    You think he tried pulling a Jeff Reed and said “hey, can I have a ride home. I’m Steely McBeam!” then as he would try to get in the car would speed up a few feet. After a few times he finally gave up.



  4. PittinDC
    April 9, 2008 2:44 pm

    HA! I saw this on the Post Gazette site and immediately had to come over here.. I knew you’d come through PittGirl.



  5. wshicldtel
    April 9, 2008 2:52 pm

    The PG, “Steely Blitzed” lol funny



  6. mis
    April 9, 2008 3:00 pm

    Wasn’t there some scandal many years ago with the Pirate Parrot having sex in a fountain or something?
    Does anybody remember that?
    Hiliarious post PG.



  7. Marcy
    April 9, 2008 3:07 pm

    What is it with local mascots? Remember when the guy who played the Pirate Parrot was arrested for selling coke? Then a few years later a different Pirate Parrot was arrested for getting jiggy in the pool at Schenley Park? Ew.



  8. Zsa
    April 9, 2008 3:33 pm

    Hey Marcy –

    That (allegedly cause he says it didn’t happen) was Tim Beggy who was on Road Rules and he was playing the Pirate Pirate not the Parrot. Wet parrot feathers in fountain, ugh!! (not that a wet pirate is much better)



  9. Magnus Patris
    April 9, 2008 3:48 pm

    Steely McBeam sucks so much that he should be the Pirates mascot. I wonder if Steely was drinking his cousin’s distillate, Jimmy McBeam?



  10. BBM
    April 9, 2008 3:53 pm

    Quick! Somebody go trademark “Steely McBeam” so they can order the Steelers to stop using it, n@!



  11. Gunn Lino
    April 9, 2008 5:17 pm

    I’m here all week, try the veal. HA ! Good one.



  12. Still A Fan
    April 9, 2008 7:01 pm

    dont forget to tip your waitress…….

    “close your eyes and walk the mcbeam”



  13. Bram R
    April 9, 2008 8:56 pm

    Way 2 crank out the content…..



  14. Greg
    April 10, 2008 6:30 am

    how Steely McBeam became the Pittsburgh Steelers mascot.

    Kenneth… I’m here to deliver your Szechuan chicken Mr. Rooney. Why are you and your secretary naked?

    Mr. Rooney… I uh uh are you a Steelers fan son? Ever play pro football?

    Kenneth… I never played sports in high school but I was in several musicals.

    Mr. Rooney… are you allergic to foam? Because I have a job for you….. the salary pays $85,000 a year and the fans are going to love you.



  15. anonymous
    April 10, 2008 7:21 am

    Um, I think he represents Luke very well, actually.



  16. justretiredguy
    April 10, 2008 7:48 am

    .166? Amateur. What steelworker worth his salt would get caught at a measly .166?

    Ya know, if dem stillers really need a mascot, why can’t they come up with something that:

    A. Doesn’t scare the kids.

    B. Doesn’t have a name similar to a dildo in The Naked Lunch.



  17. Brian
    April 10, 2008 7:53 am

    Steely McBean is the most knock-me over, worst mascot evah.



  18. Brian
    April 10, 2008 7:55 am

    McBeaM. Whatever



  19. Steely Mc
    April 10, 2008 8:14 am

    McHammered?
    McDrunk?
    McWasted?

    no the best thing that can happen is our pillar of the community is now working as Steely McDonalds!



  20. bucdaddy
    April 10, 2008 8:19 am

    Steely McJimBeam



  21. NY Luvs Pitts
    April 10, 2008 8:30 am

    And….DRINK DRINK DRINK! Stealy’s takin’ it to da head!



  22. unsatisfied
    April 10, 2008 9:54 am

    I’m betting that young mr. hahey got hammered after hearing lukey say “move forward” a few times too many….



  23. Shannon
    May 2, 2008 2:56 pm

    Hahey was also a player in the MAHL a junk ‘pro’ league more like beer league. he played for the Mon Valley Thunder, think i read another player was caught drunk driving not sure. think he will be back in the MAHL? M(more) A(alcohol) H(hockey) L(league)