A few Craigslist goodies.

Sorry no posting yesterday.  Bright side:  You lived! My gift to you, three weird Burghers:

1. Unless it is Opposite Day, I don’t think you should be allowed to describe yourself as a “stable” individual in the same Craigslist posting in which you post a picture of yourself as a deer (I think he might be taking a poop in that there moss) — complete with antlers.  Or if you post a photo of yourself … well … I don’t know what he’s doing there in picture 3, but I do know this for a fact:

I want my mommy.

Haven’t I mined that guy before?

2. He’s not here to tell us how it is that he’s so very much better than us ladies, but luckily for us, he IS willing to tell us how very much we “severly suck.” In addition, he despises the drinking and party scene, and to prove it, he’s posted a picture of himself in front of a giant stash of alcohol. Sweet.

3. I don’t … it just … well … wait.

I must say that the yes in me needs the yes in you while I just stare in your eyes all night.. But the no in me need the no in you so we can save love making until that special night..

I’ve read it six times. I still don’t get it. English! Do you speak it?! Wait! Okay, seventh time is the charm. He’s saying he WANTS to have sex with you but he wants to wait a bit first. Am I right? This is harder than Shakespeare.

I using Craig List Because I am trying not to be lusted on anymore.

Okay. He doesn’t want to be “lusted on” and for that very reason he posted that underwear, come-hither picture?

Yeah, I’m tired of being lusted after, so let me show you my boobs.

Gawd.





15 Comments

  1. Ms. Caroline
    April 15, 2008 8:13 am

    As if giving my notice today wasn’t bad enough, you had to “mine” didn’t you?

    Dying. Inside. Sigh.



  2. Goob
    April 15, 2008 8:33 am

    I think I like the word severly.

    Now I just need to figure out what it means. And if it means nothing, better still: it can mean something that makes me like the word -more-.



  3. plexxer
    April 15, 2008 8:35 am

    #3 is like a Frosted Mini-Wheats commercial.

    The Yes in me wants to rock your body all night long!
    The No in me needs you to wait until my wife goes out with her girlfriends.



  4. Susan
    April 15, 2008 8:49 am

    I hope Bachelor #1 doesn’t go outside during bowhunting season in the deer get-up. Then again, maybe not such a bad idea.

    Bachelor #2 thinks women severly suck because he sees us using apostrophes and punctuation and it makes him feel very strange.

    Bachelor #3’s comments? I don’t know. I just hope to god that Craigslist personals go away long before my daughter is old enough to date.

    Thanks for mining/sharing these. Good way to start the day — I feel better about myself already!



  5. Bob
    April 15, 2008 9:34 am

    I’m pretty sure that #3 is Smoove B Love Man from The Onion.



  6. bucdaddy
    April 15, 2008 9:51 am

    So where are these “boobs” you promised to show us?

    * waiting, waiting, tapping foot *



  7. Mrs Pitsberger
    April 15, 2008 10:05 am

    #1. Thank God I’m single.
    #2. Thank God I’m single.
    #3. Thank God I’m white.



  8. Brian
    April 15, 2008 10:07 am

    2. What a typical Pittsburgh dude. I bet all of his shirts are 15 times too large. And nothing, and I mean NOTHING, pisses me off more than the self-photo where you arms are showing, like it’s artsy. Actually, that’s 1B. What REALLY pissed me off is when people in photos have their arms forward, pretending they’re adjusting the lense. I want every one of those people to die at once. AT ONCE!



  9. Zsa
    April 15, 2008 10:36 am

    #2: Bad hat, bad attitude, bad spelling. The nice thing about Internet dating is that you can tell right away about the guy’s spelling and grammar skills (or lack of same). I’ve actually ended a relationship over this.



  10. back in the burgh
    April 15, 2008 10:37 am

    Wow – those are classics, for sure. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Kind of gives me the chills to look at those pictures … especially #1 (well, and #2 … and #3) … eewwww!!!



  11. rach
    April 15, 2008 12:45 pm

    At my college, I have the perfect match for deer-man bachelor. She walks around all day with a fox head attached to her hat (yes, a real, furry, dead fox head) and what I can only assume to be the tail from the de-headed fox sticking out the back of her jeans. I see her often. And she is never without the fox attire.



  12. Julie
    April 15, 2008 3:41 pm

    1.) Picture 3, keep that shit to yourself. Creepy.
    2.) All I can say is, wow. Winner, all the way.
    3.) Is that guy wearing a cape??



  13. Gunn Lino
    April 15, 2008 7:04 pm

    Is it a requirement of Craigslist that you must post a scary photo of yourself to qualify for posting?

    Must the photo be of you:
    shirtless?
    in the bathtub?
    reflected in the bathroom cabinet mirror?
    flexing muscles?
    wearing too much makeup?

    Must the posting be completely illiterate?

    Lastly, does anyone with half a brain post on Craigslist?

    Just askin…….



  14. spoon
    April 15, 2008 7:39 pm

    Gunn, don’t forget “make sure the toilet is flushed”.

    #1 – He should be an extra in “Apache, Indian Warrior”
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=GFGzGfym-7Y

    #2 – Any 23 yr old guy that says he’s looking for someone “out of the party scene” is because a) he’s already banned from every club in the tri-state area b) has already struck out with every girl form said clubs in A c) is full of shit and will tell you that he just wants to cuddle. You date older because they all have jobs, cars and have at least an apartment.

    #3 – Is that Najeh Davenport before he raided the closet? yeah, you know what I’m talkin about!



  15. RavishingRick
    April 15, 2008 10:29 pm

    WTF!!!!!! I missed PittGirl showing her BooBs! where was I when all this occurred, maybe I should look on CL some one may post a pic of this spectacular days event,knowing this I would have taken the afternoon and evening off from work to watch