Random n’at.

1.  While at the house of Sister of PittGirl (Penguins freak) last night eating kabobs, drinking vodka tonics, and watching the Pens DEMOLISH the Senators, she pointed out to me a little tidbit about “Jim” from The Office.  First, you see that?  My sister is way cooler than me because she watches The Office and I’ve never ever caught five minutes of it (but I balance that out by religiously watching 30 Rock and Scrubs).  Here’s the tidbit:

John Krasinski is looking to add businessman to his resume, because he wants to open a Dunkin’ Donuts franchise. Since moving to L.A., he says that he’s been missing the coffee and the nearest branch is 390 miles away in Sacramento.

He says, “It’s my dream to open a Dunkin’ Donuts. You can’t beat the coffee. I Googled it once and the nearest one is in Sacramento. I think we can do better than that. I’m going to open one.”

Sister of PittGirl also informed me that John Krasinski is her self-united husband, so you’d all best back off.

And I think I love him a little bit too.  But it’s okay.  My sister weighs like 95 lbs.  I can take her.

2.  Today is Tax Day, AKA Federal Pillaging and Plundering Day, and in honor of me writing a $1,500 check to the IRS, Dunkin Donuts will give you a free donut if you go in today and buy a coffee.  Get a donut for my sister while you’re at it.

3.  I hate the IRS.  Would you elect me President of the World if I instituted a flat income tax of 15%?

4.  Burgh Baby’s mom went and found some baby dolls that were apparently formed in the fires of hell before Satan unleashed them on Earth.  That last one?  I’d have nightmares if I didn’t have a stronger constitution.

I’m going to have nightmares.  If you stare into that face for longer than three minutes, Satan reaches out of the doll’s eyes and takes your soul.  It’s a fact.

4.  Speaking of my dreams, my Twitter followers (MINIONS!) already know this, but I had a dream about David Conrad that finally did not take place in Soldiers and Sailors Hall.  This dream, he invited me to his loft to show me around.  I found myself getting a kiss on the cheek from him (he did that in real life so PBTHHHH!) and then he took me into this huge, expansive loft.  I mean, like the size of a football field.  Huge windows overlooking Pittsburgh, green carpeting (I know.), and bare walls.  I chided him about the bare walls and then … are you ready?  I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD A SKATEBOARD WE COULD USE!  That’s right.  PittGirl didn’t say, “Do you have a bedroom.  Do you have a book of poetry you can recite to me.  Do you have some espresso over which we can chat?  Do you have a condom?!”

No, PittGirl wanted a skateboard so that she could whip around his massive loft.

If I didn’t know myself better, I’d be thinking I’m a lesbian.

I woke up just as he pulled a skateboard out of his closet.  What a waste of a David Conrad dream.  Next one, subconscious, better be hella better, you hear me?

5.  Woy has given me the first draft designs of the next limited edition PittGirl shirt.  I think you guys are going to really like it.  I haven’t forgotten that I owe a free shirt to one of the donors to Bill Toland’s fundraising efforts.  I’ll keep my word on that.

6.  As I gain more readers, I’m wondering if I need to do a better About page?  Maybe a FAQ so that new readers can understand what the hell I’m doing here.  Who is The Duke?  Why do you hate pigeons?  Where did this self-united crap come from?  Who is The Asshat?  What the hell is the “ding!” for every time you use the word “shat”?  Again, just waiting for the chunk of time.

7.  Two interesting search terms that landed on my blog. The first is awesome:

Is Wendy Bell PittGirl?

The second is forever burned in my brain:

“Pigeon that gave me herpes.”

Is that you, Ben Roethlisberger?

8.  You didn’t hear it from me, but word is that Lukey’s wife is preggers.

Lukey as a father. Good things could come from that.

9.  Pens rule!  Hossa finally scores!

Speaking of the Penguins, check out these NHL lookalikes!

(h/t DW)

10.  The Buccos of Suckitude are in the midst of an “occasional, fleeting whiff of mediocrity” (tm Chad Hermann), currently playing .538 ball.

I’m still not impressed.


  1. sparkky
    April 15, 2008 9:22 am

    Gary Roberts comments on Sean Avery’s antics in the Rangers game against against the Devils:


    Everybody else is rather diplomatic in their comments and Gary Roberts plainly states “He’s an idiot.”

    GR rules.

  2. bucdaddy
    April 15, 2008 9:49 am


    Yeah, but what a great comeback win last night! That Nate McLouth can hit a little! I’m sure EVERYBODY in Pittsburgh is talking about the Pirates today …


  3. brainlint
    April 15, 2008 10:28 am

    John Krasinski AND Dunkin’ Donuts? That rocks. Your sister can have him as her self-united husband. I just want to hang out with him for the weekend ;) The Office is an awesome show though. Reruns on Tuesdays on TBS, if you’re interested. Or you can watch it at hulu.com (along with a bunch of other cool shows – including 30 Rock and Scrubs).

    Go Pens! Loved those back-to-back goals. Just put the nail in the coffin of that game.

  4. Muddypelican
    April 15, 2008 10:43 am

    I have been saying for YEARS that we could eliminate 90% of the IRS if we would institute a flat tax. Works for the state, works for the local municipalities….

  5. Cindy T.
    April 15, 2008 11:11 am

    The last baby doll DOES belong to Satan. Thanks for providing creep time during lunch.

  6. shouldBworking
    April 15, 2008 11:25 am

    Holy crap…some of those lookalikes…WOW!

  7. Steelman
    April 15, 2008 11:35 am

    I would vote for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. PittsburghKid
    April 15, 2008 11:40 am

    As one who is NOT a fan of Ovechkin I must say I love the look-a-like. What a terrible picture! I didn’t even recognize him as the guy from Happy Gilmore!

  9. RavishingRick
    April 15, 2008 11:45 am

    Thank God your back !!!! now my week can move forward
    I’d be lost with out you

    P.S. can I be in your next dream ??????!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Evil Twin
    April 15, 2008 12:01 pm

    The look-a-like for Ovechkin is PRICELESS. But I am now intrigued with Ryan Getzlaf – The Josh Duhamel look alike. I may have to self unite to him!

  11. Pingback: NHL players resembling entertainers « Scribbled Noise

  12. DW
    April 15, 2008 12:50 pm

    When I found the NHL Look-A-Likes, I laughed out loud at some of them (hello, Ovechkin/Jaws and Markov/Mr. Bean) and couldn’t believe how dead on some of them were. I think Drury looks a lot like Luke Wilson, except for that nice hockey scar on his chin!

  13. th3t3chb0y
    April 15, 2008 1:28 pm

    “If I didn’t know myself better, I’d be thinking I’m a lesbian.” — Now that creates it’s own setting for our dreams…

  14. Christina
    April 15, 2008 1:42 pm

    Man, could men around here j*rk *ff over PittGirl and this website some more? Not that I’m saying she doesn’t deserve it.

    It just seems like there must be a lack of smart, intellectually sextastic girls around here for the geek population.

  15. bucdaddy
    April 15, 2008 4:28 pm

    You’re absolutely right, Christina.

    So … doing anything this weekend? ;-)


  16. th3t3chb0y
    April 15, 2008 5:52 pm

    Christina… you couldn’t be more correct… “It just seems like there must be a lack of smart, intellectually sextastic girls around here for the geek population.” Thanks for putting it into words for me!

  17. Truthspeaker
    April 15, 2008 7:17 pm

    Hey not to make this too serious or anything, but re: taxes…look into Ron Paul for President. http://www.ronpaul2008.com He is the one President that wants to wipe out the IRS and taxes.

    Who wouldn’t want that???

    PS go PENS

  18. PittCheMBA
    April 15, 2008 8:13 pm

    An FAQ section would be great for all new readers to get on board with your ingenious catch phrases. Just remember to trademark everything like Buccos of Sucktitude. Do not reveal any info that readers could use to “out” you. For example, the route and mileage you take to work each morning.

  19. xena
    April 15, 2008 11:02 pm

    I was about to write to ask you NOT to add anything to “About,” but PittCheMBA’s h great idea for a FAQ section. A wonderful opportunity for snark that stays put.

    Your “About” section is minimalist perfection. Sometimes I open it just to admire it. FAQs will do the job nicely.

    In my lit class today, there were mentions of Gary Roberts, PittGirl, and pigeons (AKA, rats with wings.) Next, an entire course on burghblog.

  20. BBM
    April 16, 2008 7:25 am

    It would take some work, but a Best Of page would rock. Combing your archives would take forever, but there’s some serious gold in there that absolutely deserves to be read over and over and over.

    BTW, I totally had a nightmare about that stupid doll last night. Stupid stupid me uploaded the images to my Photobucket account where I have to see them every frackin’ day. Stupid stupid.

  21. Brian
    April 16, 2008 7:36 am

    I’m sure Ron Paul also would like to eliminate blacks and gays, too. No joke. I hope this doesn’t sound prickly, because I’m not trying to be a jerk to you truthspeaker, but dig deeper on Ron Paul. He’s got some ugly skeletons in his closet, and they should scare anyone who’s profile doesn’t match “white male.”

    It’s easy to promise eliminating the IRS and taxes, something that would never happen since there’s something called Congress that would have a say on this, but it’s just to get people excited. It’s like promising free cake and ice cream every day. Dude, I’d be so game for that, but it would be impossible to actually distribute. Any time anyone promises big pie-in-the-sky things such as these, always be skeptical.

  22. Brian
    April 16, 2008 7:38 am

    Oh, and Bucdaddy! Hands off Christina! She’s spoken for! :-)

  23. Pingback: The Burgh Blog » Lukey, Lukey, Lukey

  24. BBM
    April 16, 2008 9:21 am

    I forgot to say “n@.” It is my mission to include n@ in every comment I leave her for the rest of eternity. So n@. That pretty much makes up for my error, n@.

  25. JamieO
    April 16, 2008 10:01 am

    Gah. Those freaking dolls. PittGirl, I am sharing this with my Twitter followers.

    I 100 percent believe that there must be a limit on how real dolls look. The presidential candidates need to make this part of their platform.

  26. truthspeaker
    April 16, 2008 12:16 pm

    Please don’t apologize or say “trying not to be a jerk” because I am all for open discussions and others opinions. The thing is, I feel that ALL candidates have LARGE closets full of stuff to just find..as do most other people (maybe not Pittgirl since she’s perfect and all). Do I think someone can come in and say “poof…no more IRS”. No, because you need a backup plan etc. However, there are a lot of things that man…a fellow Burgher mind you…does have to say is right. In the research I have found, I have not seen ANYTHING to say he wants to kill blacks or gays. He basically is a fighter for the Constitution which no one seems to up-hold anymore. Yes some of that means every “man” for themselves…but is that a bad thing? I just think that the way that the media has been “gag ordered” against Ron Paul is wrong and that people should at least have the RIGHT to make a decision on their own with all the facts. Having said that, I appreciate your opinion more than you know and even more than that..I appreciate that you are looking into all the candidates and not just what the media wants.

  27. Brian
    April 16, 2008 12:35 pm

    Hey Truthspeaker, I’m totally down with the fact that 1.) you were not offended and 2.) we can have a dialog about this. I have to find the link, but there was an extensive piece that I read a few months back about Ron Paul’s background in the underground newsletter business and some of the horrifically racist/bigoted things he (or people who wrote for his publications) wrote. But he scares me, and being that I primarily see the pres as more of a PR role than an actual get-your-hands-dirty kind of politician, those are some of the things that tend to sway me: personality traits, belief systems. I’ll try to find the link and post it here if I do.

  28. Brian
    April 16, 2008 12:37 pm

    Sorry … one more thing. I do agree Ron Paul hasn’t got much media coverage beyond his no taxes/no IRS statements. But the Dems battle is sexy, and McCain is always an interesting character, so I think media types tend to ignore everyone they believe won’t be a significant factor in the end. So yeah, maybe people would know more if the media cared more about the other people involved.

  29. Truthspeaker
    April 16, 2008 12:42 pm

    Please do post that link for me. I really am interested and was about to write back to you to request that you do because I really want to learn as much as I can. A lot of stuff scares me in this world (realID being my primary thing) but I definitely KNOW that I cannot put my arms around everything since there is so much. More knowledge from you is very much welcomed and appreciated. I don’t want to “bring down” the burghblog’s fun and happiness by throwing more “serious” stuff in so I will leave it at 1. I hope you can post the link. and 2. I really appreciated talking with you.

    take care

  30. Susan
    April 16, 2008 9:11 pm

    I’m kind of new here, and not a current resident of the Burgh, but is it possible that you have never touched upon the resemblance between John Krasinski and Ben Roethlisberger??

  31. brainlint
    April 17, 2008 3:56 pm

    Susan – Sorry, but John Krasinski and The Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross are absolutely so much not alike. At all. Even to look at them. If I would ever think that Ben started looking cute, I would poke my eyes out with my commemorative Steelers pen.