Scaredy cat.

The Homestead Police Station is haunted, y’all!

Mrs. Kenna listened along with police officers and staff yesterday as members of the Greater  Pittsburgh Paranormal Society offered audio and video evidence that something strange is going on inside the building that houses the police station.

Yesterday, society founder Tonya Boff of Green Tree and four other members of her group played audio recordings of noises they said were not caused by the society’s investigators. She said it was the first investigation in about a year in which group members felt they had documented evidence of a possible haunting.

The first sounded like a scream and was picked up in the basement. The second recording, made in the attic, was of a door slamming, then a voice heard to say “Hey, Sam,” then a louder slamming of a door.

They also played a video clip showing a video camera cord, which had been taped to the ceiling of the basement, appear to fly loose and sway back and forth.

Can we talk about this?  Can we talk about how freaked out that makes me?

Here’s the thing about PittGirl — in real life, I can be pretty fearless when it comes to facing things.  Like the guy that stole my purse?  If I had actually gotten there five seconds earlier to catch him in the act, I’d have probably against better judgment confronted him and tried to kick him and maybe even threw out a “so’s your mother” insult for good measure.  I know this for a fact.

What happens more often than not is that my anger overrides my fear.  There are some Pit Bulls that live near me and if I happen to walk by and hear them barking ferociously at me, in my head I’m not thinking “I wonder if I can outrun those bastards if they got loose.”  I’m thinking, “Here’s exactly how I’m going to beat the shit out of them if they attack me.”

Seriously.  It’s not smart, but it’s how I am.  It’s why I’m probably going to die in a manner that if I just had fled, I’d still be alive.

That said, while REAL LIFE doesn’t scare me that much, FAKE LIFE — TV life, scary movies, “the unknown”?  Scares the bejesus out of me.

When I saw Jaws for the first time, I was afraid to dangle my arms or my legs over the edge of my bed at night because yes, it’s perfectly sane to think that a giant man-eating shark would be living under my bed waiting for his midnight snack of people fingers and sock-encased toes.

When I saw The Birds, I was sure that every flutter of a wing I heard was a swarm of angry taloned winged demons who would not rest until every shred of flesh had been picked from my hot bones.

When I saw Signs, that freaky fake alien gave me heebie jeebies for months.  MONTHS!  I hated being alone.  Hated being in the dark.  Hated looking into a dark television screen because I was sure I would see the passing shadow of a tall, skinny, menacing alien.

When I saw The Blair Witch Project, I couldn’t go into my basement for a month without bringing my dogs with me, because yeah, two tiny, stupid, poop-eating terriers will destroy an otherworldly witch like it’s nobody’s business.

I won’t watch Poltergeist or the Exorcist because I’m pretty sure if I do that I’ll just become a trembling mass of useless nothing, afraid to even peer out from under the covers.

So yeah, I’m an enigma.

When I read that there are voices and screaming and weird shit happening at a police station, it freaks me out because now the Scary TV/Movie World that I’m afraid of but can comfort myself that it isn’t real, is colliding with the Real World and I’m thinking I’m going to go hide under my covers with some garlic, a knife, my taser, and maybe the Bible for good measure.

If I was currently employed at the Homestead police station and I heard that scream and saw that video, I’d take a job cleaning up pigeon poop before I’d ever set toenail in that building again.

Freak. Eee.


  1. blech
    April 17, 2008 10:16 am

    Don’t feel bad.
    I can’t go to the restroom at night by myself in fear that I will see Bloody Mary in the mirror.
    The cat has to escort me.
    And I have to keep my eyes closed.

  2. back in the burgh
    April 17, 2008 10:31 am

    Nightmare on Elm Street … the first one. I couldn’t sleep for months because I would see Freddy every damn time I fell asleep. And yes, I couldn’t swim in a pool without great caution for years after Jaws … because it’s perfectly logical that a huge shark is hanging out in the piping of a well-chlorinated neighborhood pool. Absolutely!!

  3. bucdaddy
    April 17, 2008 10:48 am

    Tonya “Boff”? Seriously?

  4. Robin
    April 17, 2008 10:50 am

    To this day I can’t have any sort of stuffed animal in the bedroom because of some movie I saw in the 60’s about a doll that came to life. Don’t even get me STARTED on “Chucky”!

  5. johnny
    April 17, 2008 10:55 am

    So why is it that a “ghost” had to have pulled that wire down? Isn’t failing tape more likely? Old building, old paint, old dust on ceiling. C’mon, it looks to me like it just fell.

    also, the “noises” I don’t buy it.

    besides, there has never, NEVER, been one case of someone being killed by a ghost.

  6. toni
    April 17, 2008 11:11 am

    Well I can perfectly understand your fear after watching “The Birds”…the pigeons ARE out to get you. I’m not as bad as you are but believe me when I say you DO NOT want to watch “The Ring”. Just don’t.

  7. James Foreman
    April 17, 2008 11:25 am

    Ghost vs. terriers?

    My money would be on the terriers.

  8. Stephanique1
    April 17, 2008 12:10 pm

    When I was little, our neighborhood pool club in Penn Hills used to paint giant themed characters at the bottom of the diving tank each summer. One year they painted a big gaping mouthed, toothy Jaws shark head. I don’t know WHAT they were thinking but needless to say, I stayed off of the high dive that summer.

  9. Heather
    April 17, 2008 12:19 pm

    Poltergeist! Let me tell you about Poltergeist. I was 6 when it came on cable (Qube Cable to be exact…the remote had a 20 foot cord and was attached to the cable box) and I looked exactly like Carol Ann. My babysitter made me watch it then turned on a fuzzy station and made me put my hands on the tv and say “They’re here”. She refused to change the station unless I complied with her request.

    I swear I had nightmares about that stupid clown that came to life for years!

  10. Manda
    April 17, 2008 12:30 pm

    “two tiny, stupid, poop-eating terriers”

    Do we have the same dogs? I think my tiny, stupid, poop-eating terriers could kick some ghost ass. They owe it to me, we buy the premium food. I should get something in return.

  11. Pensgirl
    April 17, 2008 1:19 pm

    Scarred for Life:

    Being an insomniac as a child, and coming across the following items at 3am somewhere between the ages of 6-8:

    1. A Sweeney Todd production on PBS;

    2. A child, who, when you stop to see what he’s up to, writes a backwards word in red lipstick and then starts saying “Redrum REDRUM REEEDRUUUM.” (If I’m remembering it right. I haven’t been able to watch it since.)

  12. Sooska
    April 17, 2008 1:31 pm

    I have a cat that growls when he sits in the window and sees the neighbors. Would that help you? (caveat: He is also afraid of balloons.)
    Do NOT see Poltergeist.

  13. justretiredguy
    April 17, 2008 1:48 pm

    Disembodied spirits walking the earth? Nahhh. Old piece of tape “giving up the ghost”? Yep.

  14. Magnus Patris
    April 17, 2008 1:52 pm

    Don’t ever watch a movie called “The Devil’s Rain”. Earnest Borgnine plays a guy who at the end of the movie turns into the devil complete with goat horns and hooves. I saw it when I was 12 and it scared the crap out of me. I couldn’t watch “McHale’s Navy” again after that. I always thought Capt. Binghamton or Mr. Parker would walk in on McHale and he’d go all devil-goat shit on them. Oh, and Shatner was in it and it was John Travolta’s first film. How much worse could it get?!

  15. JamieO
    April 17, 2008 2:12 pm

    When my wife and I lived in an apartment in Bethel Park back in 2002, one night I was home doing some work on the computer while she was out shopping. I heard a distinct whistle and the sound went past me. At the same time, our two cats, laying about five feet from each other, looked up like they were watching someone walk between them.

    Was I freaked out? Not really. I am of Cherokee, Eastern Band, descent, so the idea of spirits being around isn’t a big deal to me. My grandmother, a woman with a great sense of humor, once said ghosts are only paranormal to non-Indians, to us they are normal.

    Besides, the cats didn’t freak, why should I?

  16. Jennifer
    April 17, 2008 4:55 pm

    Ok, first I need to reiterate DO NOT WATCH THE RING. DO NOT. Donotdonotdonotdonot.
    And secondly, sharks and vampires and scary monsters dwell under my bed too. Dark water is WAY more likely to have monsters in it than light water. And Bigfoot lived in the woods in my cousins back yard. Probably still does.

    These are perfectly reasonable concerns. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially “friends” who recommend movies like the ring.

  17. Katie
    April 17, 2008 5:23 pm

    To be like the 3rd person to say it, DO NOT WATCH THE RING. Just don’t even go there. Trust us. Oh, and thanks to good ole Alfred Hitchcock I couldn’t look at a bird for the longest time after watching that movie. But I’m pretty sure, your dogs could take on any ghostly things. Terriers are crazy like that….

  18. A Model Citizen
    April 17, 2008 5:40 pm

    Steven King’s ‘Cat’s Eye’. I still remember watching it on cable with my family after Thanksgiving when I was around 10. To this day if I’m dozing and something hits/touches/lands on my chest I flip thinking there’s some gnome/troll is trying to steal my breath.
    Oh and thanks to Poltergeist I can’t eat leftover chicken (especially fried).

  19. Bill
    April 17, 2008 6:27 pm

    I remember watching “The Bad Seed” with Patty McCormack as a little girl in blonde pigtails murdering anyone who displeased her. The ending scene where she is struck by lightning will forever be burned into my memory!

  20. Sue
    April 17, 2008 7:15 pm

    I have developed a sleeping position “habit” if you will where I cover my neck with my hunched up shoulders while I sleep. Vampire protection you see.
    It has turned into an issue now that I’m older.
    I see a chiropractor every week to get the crick out of my neck and shoulders. Damn Thiller Theatre.
    Anyone remeber that? 12:00 every Saturday night.
    Cant even THINK about the Exorcist..yuk I TYPED IT shiver shiver

  21. American Girl
    April 17, 2008 8:46 pm

    My mother never needed to spank my brother and I as children after watching Trilogy of Terror on Chiller Theater. The third segment features a Zuni hunting doll that comes to life and chases a woman around her apartment making sounds like Animal from the Muppets. Whenever we were doing acting up, all she had to say was, “the little man is going to come and get you… aiyiii, aiyiii, aiyiii” and we would immediately behave. Still works to this day, actually.

  22. bucdaddy
    April 17, 2008 8:57 pm

    Sue, Think you mean “Chiller Theater,” with (of course) Chilly Billy Cardille, Terminal Stare, Stephan the Castle Prankster etc.

  23. CS Keys
    April 17, 2008 9:28 pm

    Gotta go with Jennifer on this one, don’t watch The Ring. No one needs to see certain things like that, particularly the first victim. Nope.

  24. Still A. Fan
    April 17, 2008 9:58 pm

    “……….candy gram………………….”

  25. Shona
    April 18, 2008 10:31 am

    Ah…I saw that story on the news. Strange, when I was down in FL, you never really heard any talk about hauntings. Maybe because most of the buildings didn’t exist before the 1940’s. Makes you wonder.

  26. Tony N
    April 18, 2008 10:37 am

    One of my favorite subjects… movies that creep me out. Most have been covered here already, but let me second (or third) the motions…

    Jaws… scared the crap out of me every time. I was a teenager when it came out and even when my brother would tell me when something was about to happen, my cheeks still cleared the seat cushion. I may still swim in the ocean, but not comfortablely.

    Poltergeist… while some of the effects look tacky now, it was cutting edge when it came out. But nothing creeped me out like that &$&^%$ clown. I STILL hate flippin’ clowns. I feel for you, Heather… did you ever tell your parents that your babysitter was a sadist?

    Trilogy of Terror… I couldn’t even bring myself to watch that… the still shot of Karen Black and the Zulu Guy that was in the TV Guide scared any desire I had to watch the show, right out of me. I later watched it as a grown-up, and saw that I made the right choice.

    Critters under the bed (in general)… Alligators. No movie needed. Alligators fit perfectly under a bed, and every kid knows it. Thank goodness for magic covers.

  27. NY Luvs Pitts
    April 18, 2008 10:57 am

    Yo PG, Jaws had me going too. I would not take a bath after that, only showers. I did not want Jaws to come from under the bath water and take me. Ha!!!! I hate scary movies too. Pet Cemetary was the one that really did me in.

  28. Mia`
    April 18, 2008 11:07 am

    You should also not come visit me. My house is haunted. I have a jokester spirit in my house. He likes to move my stuff. I yelled at him one day, told him if he’s going to live there he should at least help out around the house. Empty the dishwasher, turn off the lights…something! I left the room and came back and all the throw pillows on the couch had been thrown to the floor. I told him that was not quite what I had in mind. He’s harmless…except when he’s moved my keys overnight…that’s annoying!

  29. pittgirl
    April 18, 2008 11:17 am

    Note to self. Don’t ever see The Ring.

    Also, Mia. Please tell me you’re joking. Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a dead pigeon on top?

    NY Luvs, OMG! I forgot about the crazy old lady in Pet Semetary when she comes rushing at the camera! Freaked me out for weeks. No thanks for the reminder. ;)

  30. Mia`
    April 18, 2008 12:09 pm

    Ummm Okay. If it’s makes you happy. I’m joking. You probably still shouldn’t come visit.

  31. Pensgirl
    April 18, 2008 12:20 pm

    Mia, one of my friends was actually probably saved from a real psycho person by a house spirit. Her stepdad’s crazy ex showed up when she was alone in the house playing loud music. The ghost turned it waaaay down, nearly off. She then heard the woman and managed to stay undetected herself. It would have been the other way around had that ghost not acted…that still puts my hairs on end over 10 years later.

    Sue, your sleeping habit reminded me of when I went with friends to see “The Grudge.” In that movie they have one of the victims run to her bed and hide under the covers, and the spirit thing goes under the covers at the foot of the bed and basically slithers upward to the victim. I got home at midnight, my roommate wasn’t home, and the thing we all do to feel better after scary movies – get in bed and hide under the covers – had been taken away by that rat bastard flick!

  32. NY Luvs Pitts
    April 18, 2008 12:53 pm


  33. Robin
    April 18, 2008 1:18 pm

    American Girl…OMG!!!!!!!!! Trilogy of Terror!!!!! ACK!! I haven’t thought of that one in years.
    I had a cat that liked to surprise attack. After I watched that movie she chose to leap from the windowsill onto my back as I was getting ready for bed. Much to her dismay I was so startled, I threw her across the room.

  34. Sue
    April 18, 2008 2:14 pm

    Buc, Thanks your right I meant to type a “C”
    Too bad we dont have something like Chiller Theatre now for kids we can use as a behavioral tool..shoot today, you might get arrested for threatening harm to a child by ghost. Sci Fi channel etc is bogus.
    That TV time brings back good memories.
    My older brother by 12 years used to make me watch with him but he would run to the bathroom and lock himself in during the scary parts leaving me alone!

  35. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    April 18, 2008 3:16 pm

    I trace my absolute fear and dislike of blood and gore to one movie — Jaws. My uncle, who was babysistting my sisters and me, thought it was totally a good idea to take his four nieces (ages, 9, 8, 5 and 4) along with him and his date to see Jaws. To this day I close my eyes during certain parts of shows like CSI. Then there are certain movies you have to see, but only once. Silence of the Lambs, the Exoricist, Amityville Horror, The Shining. Then, you think, maybe the book won’t be as bad. Nope, even scarier than the movie, but you really cannot put it down until you finish, even if that is like, 4:30 a.m.

    Also, in total agreement. Do. Not. See. The. Ring. I really should listen to my own advice.

  36. Beatrice
    April 18, 2008 8:41 pm

    I remember watching Jaws at my cousin’s house in MD when I was around 8 years old. Their guest room had a single shower-stall deal with a sliding glass door. I would not take a shower unless the slidng door was open. I was too afraid Jaws was going to bust into the shower through the tiled wall and I needed to be able to quickly escape.

  37. justretiredguy
    April 19, 2008 11:06 am

    I went to see Night of the Living Dead at the Hollywood Theatre in Dormont in 1968. I still remember what my mom served for dinner that night. Salisbury steak and egg noodles.

    I like spooky ghost movies and like to watch Ghost Hunters, but folks, there just ain’t no such thing as ghosts.

  38. Sofa King
    April 21, 2008 10:28 am

    I remember watching “Ghostbusters” for the first time when I was 4 and that first scene in the library where the ghost jumps out and screams scared the bejeezus out of me. What can I say, I was a real wuss as a kid…

    When my ex and I were together, we used to have all sorts of freaky-ass things happen to us. Back on New Years Eve 2000, we were out snapping random pictures of our town and when we got them developed a few weeks later, there was a misty white figure standing about 5 feet in front of me….creepy, but fascinating.

  39. Jon
    April 21, 2008 12:38 pm

    I get the chills and look over my shoulder when I see the words “the” and “ring” in conjunction anywhere, even though I saw the film as an adult and I don’t own any VHS tapes, and I saw the spoof… Anyway, no amount of time or tenor can save my nerves from disbanding. Film is not recommended.

    Actually, Japanese horror seems to immobilize my general capacity to do anything seen in said film. For instance, two 300 pound men couldn’t get me into an elevator after viewing “Dark Water”. I’m not talking about the American remakes, I’m talking about subtitles and actors I’ve never seen before. Freezes my eyes to the screen.. I mean, just get me a lolly already.

    My wife is such that she cannot turn a film off once she starts watching. It is for this reason I must conduct any and all evening duties with our Son, because unfortunately she was compelled to follow through the entirety of “Rosemary’s Baby”. Again, not recommended.

  40. justretiredguy
    April 21, 2008 1:25 pm

    I saw and liked The Ring, also The Grudge, Dark Water and some other Japanese movie the name of which I don’t remember, but was pretty spooky. Had the same kind of little kid ghost. Once I was laying in bed watching The Ring and fell asleep. My wife came to bed and woke me up. She asked how I could go to sleep while watching it, because it really freaked her and my girls out. Hey, it’s just a movie. There are much scarier real life people walking around out there.

  41. kkinLA
    April 21, 2008 4:14 pm

    Oh PittGirl…too funny, and dead-on as usual!

    I too am beset by feelings of rage at real-life scary things…but put a horror movie on (hell, even a horror movie POSTER) and I’m reduced to a quivering puddle of hair!

    For me, this morning, I read a review of the DVD of “The Orphanage” and they showed a creepy-ass picture of a little kid with a burlap bag/scary clown mask thing on its head as it’s peering out a broken window. SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!

    And, I still awaken in the middle of the night (in a bedroom with unfortunate 80’s mirrored closet doors) and think that that FREAKING SCARY

  42. kkinLA
    April 21, 2008 4:15 pm

    whooops…hit the submit button by mistake…

    to continue:

    and think that that FREAKING SCARY dripping wet ghost-girl thing from “The Ring” is going to come out of the mirror and kill me! eeeeek!

  43. Sofa King
    April 24, 2008 2:38 pm

    “The Ring” is pretty damn scary.

    “The Ring 2” is pretty damn hysterical. The scene with the herd of deer? Side-splitting.