1. Whew! I had planned to post earlier, but I felt I needed to give that censorship argument some room to grow and grow it did. After a few readers reprimanded me in private emails and not so private Tweets, I might be feeling a smidgen guilty about the “shove it up your ass” remark, but I absolutely stand by the “self-important windbag” insult because that’s church, baby. Either way, I enjoyed the discourse that resulted and the hilarious comments that some of you made (truly, you make me laugh, you do). I should disturb the shit more often, eh?
2. I got a new phone and it is GORGEOUS! I can’t wait to post less blurry, and less seizure-inducing camera phone shots to the blog.
3. In the comments to the Red Sugar post, reader Shibori wrote:
You know, the other day, a woman on the EBA was reading a book called “Thong on Fire: An Urban Erotic Tale.” (Want a laugh? Look it up on Amazon.)
And look it up I did and IT. IS. AWESOME! (Kinda NSFW)
Not only is the phrase “Thong on Fire” just all sorts of hilarious, the author’s PREVIOUS book was called … ready? …. Thug-a-licious!
I wonder if my library carries Thug-a-licious? I wonder if Jo-Beth will host the author of a book called Thug-a-licious? I could say thugalicious all day. Thugalicious. Would you say that the Asshat is thugalicious?
But back to Thong on Fire, here’s the author’s inscription:
I wish I had some friends named Juicy, Candy, and Saucy.
Also, Google Book Search has a lengthy excerpt of which the first page of the book includes the erotic phrase, “Whomp! Whomp! Whomp!”
Whoa! That’s thugalicious, a’ight.
4. Reader Beth jokingly emailed me to say that I might be interested in getting these for my dog.
If I ever attempted to put anything on the faces of my little freaky dogs that was not made out of Snausages, they would not only find a way to chew the things off of their faces, but then they would spend the rest of the week strategically pooping in my shoes and probably licking my toothbrush when I’m at work. They’re vindictive little buggers.
5. Troysus has NOT shaved the fug off of his face yet.
(h/t The Mysterious M)
6. Team president Frank Coonelly said about the poor attendance at the Pirates games this year:
“Nevertheless, it is a shame that more fans have not been able to enjoy Pirates baseball at PNC Park to date.”
Dude! The reason we have not “been able to enjoy Pirates baseball” is because Pirates baseball SUCKS! Hard.
Asking us to shell out hard-earned cash to eat five-dollar nachos and drink six-dollar beers while we watch The Buccos of Suckitude take the field is like asking us to give you money to see a field of flowers grow, or old-people synchronized swimming, or Jimmy Buffett.
Not happening. (Just teasing, Parrotheads.)
Give us something to “enjoy” and maybe we’ll actually come and enjoy it. Unfortunately, I don’t particularly enjoy sitting above a giant vacuum of suck. It’s very very windy.