Gluttons of Suck

I got my May/June issue of my favorite magazine Radar in the mail yesterday and saw this listed in the Sindex, a monthly index of who or what has committed each of the seven deadly sins:

That’s right. Forget that the Pirates have committed the sin of suck, they’re making us all gluttons as well.

As for Radar, I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t preface that blurb with, “In an effort to make fans forget that they are rooting for the worst franchise in perhaps all of baseball history, The Pittsburgh Pirates …”

Or at the very least didn’t end it with “bottomless barrels of truly rancid baseball.”

That just has a nice ring to it.



  1. unsatisfied
    April 25, 2008 3:56 pm

    ha! other stadiums are doing this, so the succos can’t claim it as an original idea to get our butts into the seats.

    now, if they’d put in an “all-you-can-drink-of-our-7-fitty-beer-so-you-can-put-up-with-our-sucking” section, I might actually reconsider and purchase a ticket…..

  2. jbean
    April 25, 2008 7:00 pm

    hey pittgirl… why don’t you call them Succos of buckitude?

  3. M Stem
    April 26, 2008 10:44 am

    The lady above the hotdog kind of looks like late Mayor O’Conner’s wife, Judy. No disrespect to either, that is the first person that popped into my head.

  4. pittgirl
    April 26, 2008 11:41 am

    That’s Sharon Osbourne, wife of Ozzie Osbourne. :)

  5. SeanCollier
    April 26, 2008 2:15 pm

    Look, I know every incensed Pirates fan in the world has gotten on your case, PG, and I’ve resisted respectfully. Mainly because there’s no doubt that the 2008 Pirates are pretty bad.

    However, the Pirates have been losing for fifteen years, while they’ve existed for 120. Five world series titles and a laundry list of hall-of-famers put the Pirates on the short list for the BEST franchises in all of baseball history, not the worst. If we Pittsburghers can pretend that Franco and Bradshaw were playing last week for all eternity, surely we can remember back as far as Stargell and Clemente.

  6. pittgirl
    April 26, 2008 7:40 pm

    Honestly, I was joking. While Pittsburgh falls high on the list of almost every major “drought” possible in Major League Baseball, I would never mean to besmirch the good name of Roberto Clemente.

    It was just me, being me. You know. Hyperbolic.

  7. justretiredguy
    April 27, 2008 9:42 am


  8. unsatisfied
    April 28, 2008 7:40 am

    c’mon, sean — you KNOW that’s it’s a “whathaveyoudoneformelately” kinda world, right?

    I’ve been a fan of the succos since I saw my first game at the age of 3 in 1972 — clemente played that day, from what I was told.

    that doesn’t negate the fact that the version of the pirates from the last 15 years suck.

    am I still a fan? sure. if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t bitch.

  9. Lauren
    April 28, 2008 9:15 am

    The fact that there is so much history attributed to the Pirates franchise is the exact reason why the suckitude of the past 15 years is so upsetting. A once proud franchise that was respected and revered has now turned into nothing but an “investment” for the Nuttings, who are more than happy to stick their hand out and collect revenue sharing from the Yankees and turn a small profit, all while the team’s winning percentage hovers near .350. No matter how proud the team once was, the current economic state of baseball and owners that don’t give a shit have turned them into the pits of suckitude they are now.

  10. Bulldog
    April 28, 2008 9:53 am

    That’s right Lauren. Its all about perpective, and putting the current state of the Pirates in context with the overall history of the franchise makes the present situation deplorable.

    The fact that the economics of MLB allow, ne encourage this sort of behavior makes it even worse. Selig is absolutely the most disgraceful of all commissioners essentially serving as a major apologist for the Pirate owners, instead of taking them to task for not doing enough to improve the organization.

  11. unsatisfied
    April 28, 2008 10:11 am

    selig is not above criticism — he deserves a ton just on steroids alone. but, how much is he supposed to do? he gave pittsburgh the all-star game back in ’06, only 12 years after we previously hosted.

    I don’t love the economic situation in baseball, either — but, I believe that the woes of this organization rest squarely on the ownership — nutting and the minority owners. they can spend money or not — it’s up to them.

    it’s not up to MLB to save the succos.

    and, wasn’t pnc park created in order to create more revenue for the team? what have they done with it? until huntington came in, not much.

    interesting, though, that ownership ok’d swallowing the $10M and $1M option on matt morris and release him yesterday. a money waste? sure. (thanks, littlefield.) but, great that they aren’t willing to suck up a roster space to keep his 0-4 record around due to his salary.