1. I hereby RESPECTFULLY (’cause he’s like way smart and stuff) challenge Teacher. Wordsmith. Madman. to Twitter for two weeks and then tell me how he feels about this post. Twitter is addictive crack. USEFUL addictive crack.
2. As I tweeted, twittered?, whatever, (Chad, if you twittered you would already know this. PBTH!) today and texted to Woy yesterday, I love my new phone and she is my new best friend. I named her Saucy Carmiesha Juicy. We’re always going on all, “Tsk. Girl! Did you see that thugalicious piece’a man?” And then we throw signs. We’re so cool.
3. Finally, a statue with some real balls. (Totally safe for work.)
4. I went to the driving range yesterday and learned something about myself. My long game consists of either long, beautiful, straight shots that would have The Duke begging me for pointers, or short, miserable, shank-y, slice-y, FORE!, oh shit, I think I killed that lady shots. There is no middle ground. Watch out.
Also, just once I would like to hit a ball like Happy Gilmore and really get a hold of the thing.
Also, also, I’m trying to train a pigeon to hold the golf ball for me. Just because I think it’d be fun. And deadly.
5. Pens tonight. Pens versus Rangers. Staal versus Staal. Pens fans versus Jagr. Gary Roberts versus The World his groin. And a whiteout to boot. Can’t. Wait.
Not to jinx it, but we’re totally winning the cup this year. I bet Saucy Carmiesha Juicy on it.
Not really, though.
6. If you’re looking for a way to support the deaf kids … and who isn’t? Here’s a local event that will let you rock out AND raise money for music therapy for the kids at the Western PA School for the Deaf. The Rusted Root drummer will be there and ‘DVE has given great support to this event in the past and it promises to rule and DO I REALLY NEED TO TELL YOU AGAIN HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE KIDS?!
My gift to him is to tell you guys about his new site WealthBlocks which I’m totally going to use to figure out how I can afford to purchase David Conrad.
See how that works? You buy me something, I give you something. You buy me diamonds, I don’t say mean things about you and mail you an Annoying Burgher “crown.”
Yin. Yang. Boomerang.
Just had a Lady Elaine Freakin’ Demon Fairchilde flash.