1.  Know what’s weird?  Watching the Pens game in Hi-Def in the living room while in the kitchen, a group watches the game on a TV that is apparently like 3 seconds ahead, and hearing them freak out three seconds before you actually get to see the goal happen.

Kind of takes the suspense out of the game.

2.  This whole, “Stay on your feet, Sid!” trash talk is ridiculous.  How is he supposed to stay on his feet when he is being clearly PULLED DOWN by his throat?  You know I’ll call it a dive if I see a dive, and that was NOT a dive.

3.  The Pittsburgh Pirates actually won a game and are only six games out of first place.  There, I said something positive.  Happy now?

4.  The Buccos of Suckitude are in last place, losing seven of their last ten games and still have more errors and a worse ERA than any other team in the MLB.  What?  Shut up.

5.  Okay, maybe I was a BIT harsh about the Jo-Beth thingy, because the PG called it going “ballistic on poet Jan Beatty.”  Kind of scary when you think how much I toned down the post.  Apparently false cries of censorship really raise my hackles.  Who knew?!  Anyone else want to reprimand me and tell me to chill out?  I won’t cry.  Get it out of your system now.  You’ll feel better.

6.  The ghosts/Blair Witches/demons/pigeons or whatever it is that is haunting the Homestead Police Station?  They have summoned the very lightning from the night sky.  Can I say it again?  Freak.  Eeeeeeeee!

7.  Some Craigslist goodies:

• First of all, listing “text messaging people on [your] cellphone” as what you spend your time doing is NOT attractive unless you are iJustine.  Secondly, yes, it is perfectly fine for such a fine specimen of a man as he to insist that you don’t contact him if you are fat or if you dare to have brown eyes.  The horror. Also, in some light, my eyes are brown. Other light, not so much.
• Um, dude, why don’t you just go be gay then instead of wrangling yourself into a loveless marriage with a woman tolerant of your gay affairs?  I’m very confused.
• I like how he assures us that yes, that it is his picture down there for real, as if we wouldn’t believe that such a hot man who wears wife beaters under his too-big pleather jacket while awkwardly kneeling before a brick backdrop could ever truly exist on this planet. Too good to be true.
• Thank God he posted that second picture, so we can see the REAL him.  Jacket on.  Jacket off.  Two sides of an odd coin.
• Of all the shirts to pick.  That one.

8.  And finally, reader TC wrote:

In Grand Theft Auto, there was a bonus achievement where you had to collect hidden “packages” throughout the city.  In the new version that comes out tomorrow, instead of collecting packages… you shoot pigeons.  Seriously. 200 of them.  Have fun.

I have never played Grand Theft Auto before, but I will now.  Will it be available for the Wii, cause that’s my bitch.  Well, her and Saucy Carmiesha Juicy.

Category: Penguins, Pirates, The Damn Pigeons, Weird Burghers | tags: Pittsburgh Penguins, Pittsburgh Pirates | April 28, 2008 | |