Random n’at.

1.  Know what’s weird?  Watching the Pens game in Hi-Def in the living room while in the kitchen, a group watches the game on a TV that is apparently like 3 seconds ahead, and hearing them freak out three seconds before you actually get to see the goal happen.

Kind of takes the suspense out of the game.

2.  This whole, “Stay on your feet, Sid!” trash talk is ridiculous.  How is he supposed to stay on his feet when he is being clearly PULLED DOWN by his throat?  You know I’ll call it a dive if I see a dive, and that was NOT a dive.

3.  The Pittsburgh Pirates actually won a game and are only six games out of first place.  There, I said something positive.  Happy now?

4.  The Buccos of Suckitude are in last place, losing seven of their last ten games and still have more errors and a worse ERA than any other team in the MLB.  What?  Shut up.

5.  Okay, maybe I was a BIT harsh about the Jo-Beth thingy, because the PG called it going “ballistic on poet Jan Beatty.”  Kind of scary when you think how much I toned down the post.  Apparently false cries of censorship really raise my hackles.  Who knew?!  Anyone else want to reprimand me and tell me to chill out?  I won’t cry.  Get it out of your system now.  You’ll feel better.

6.  The ghosts/Blair Witches/demons/pigeons or whatever it is that is haunting the Homestead Police Station?  They have summoned the very lightning from the night sky.  Can I say it again?  Freak.  Eeeeeeeee!

7.  Some Craigslist goodies:

  • First of all, listing “text messaging people on [your] cellphone” as what you spend your time doing is NOT attractive unless you are iJustine.  Secondly, yes, it is perfectly fine for such a fine specimen of a man as he to insist that you don’t contact him if you are fat or if you dare to have brown eyes.  The horror. Also, in some light, my eyes are brown. Other light, not so much.
  • Um, dude, why don’t you just go be gay then instead of wrangling yourself into a loveless marriage with a woman tolerant of your gay affairs?  I’m very confused.
  • I like how he assures us that yes, that it is his picture down there for real, as if we wouldn’t believe that such a hot man who wears wife beaters under his too-big pleather jacket while awkwardly kneeling before a brick backdrop could ever truly exist on this planet. Too good to be true.
  • Thank God he posted that second picture, so we can see the REAL him.  Jacket on.  Jacket off.  Two sides of an odd coin.
  • Of all the shirts to pick.  That one.

8.  And finally, reader TC wrote:

In Grand Theft Auto, there was a bonus achievement where you had to collect hidden “packages” throughout the city.  In the new version that comes out tomorrow, instead of collecting packages… you shoot pigeons.  Seriously. 200 of them.  Have fun.

I have never played Grand Theft Auto before, but I will now.  Will it be available for the Wii, cause that’s my bitch.  Well, her and Saucy Carmiesha Juicy.


  1. BBM
    April 28, 2008 10:57 am

    Is there some sort of imaginary stick lodged sideways out of the first guy’s ass? His arms are like freakishly far from his body in all three pics. WTH?

  2. Sarah
    April 28, 2008 11:36 am

    No, GTA for Wii Pittgirl. Which totally sucks because I had to buy my boy a 360 so that he can play it tomorrow.

    He’s lucky today is his birthday.

  3. Sarah
    April 28, 2008 11:36 am

    Also, sometimes I don’t use commas correctly. Sorry.

  4. Brian
    April 28, 2008 11:56 am

    7. The first guy, the dork who has his photo taken in front of a plane while he’s wearing a leather jacket 90 times too big for him, said this at the end of his post: P.S. If you have brown eyes or are fat please do not contact me.

    Hate them girls with the brown eyes! OK, douchebag, you look like a geek. Your clothes are way too big, you posted a photo of yourself splashing water in a pool, you’re a geek. You’ll be unhappy forerver. I had this friend who said he’d only date a model-type, and I tried to explain he needed to wear clothes that fit him, weren’t bought at Wal-Mart, and didn’t have a WWE logo emblazoned on it, and THEN he can start trying to be picky.

    As for the third guy, in front of the bricks (he obviously never took any photography course and learned a thing about what backdrops NOT to use), wasn’t he in that dick in a box digital short on SNL?

  5. Ms. Mon
    April 28, 2008 12:30 pm

    I tried posting this comment in the thread under your original Jan Beatty broadside, but for some reason, “it” (whatever “it” is) won’t let me — so I’m posting it here:

    PittGirl, with all due respect, you are a dumb bitch. Won’t you kindly shove it up YOUR ass?


    I gotta go with the more dimensional perpective offered by Sue Kerr of Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents on this one.


    Rock. On. Pitt. Grrl.

  6. Ms. Monongahela
    April 28, 2008 12:35 pm

    I tried posting this in the commentary thread under your original Jan Beatty broadside last night, but for some reason, “it” won’t let me. Whatever “it” is:

    PittGirl, with all due respect, you are a dumb bitch. Won’t you kindly shove it up YOUR ass?


    I gotta go with the more dimensional perpective offered by Sue Kerr of Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents and the Pittsburgh Women’s Blogging Society on this one.

    Rock. On. Pitt. Grrl.

  7. Ms. Caroline
    April 28, 2008 1:16 pm

    With all of your Craigslist mining its no wonder I had to leave the country to find a good man!

  8. Amanda
    April 28, 2008 1:24 pm

    My eyes might as well be black they are so dark. I am offended. Brian, I am with you. Hey geek! Where are your floaties? :)

  9. Mrs Pitsberger
    April 28, 2008 2:54 pm

    #1. “I’m the full package except for I’m not a millionaire yet lol but enough of bragging here’s a little about me.”
    You’re a package alright, dude.

    P.S. I’m fat AND I have brown eyes. Won’t you kindly shove it up YOUR ass?

  10. pgh412
    April 28, 2008 5:18 pm

    Love the guy in front of the ZBrick. He hasn’t committed any crimes, he thinks, except for a crime of fashion.

    Don’t understand the gay guy at all. Thought maybe he wanted a wife to hide being gay, but he posted his picture, so there went that idea,

  11. masavvy
    April 28, 2008 5:46 pm

    As for jacket on/jacket off guy…oh, if only I weren’t married. I mean, if that’s HIS bedroom (and boudoir bed and hot-ass patchwork quilt) and not his GRANDMA’S bedroom (and her behind the camera), well, I just may need to get a divorce and find this man, pronto. Blech.

  12. plexxer
    April 28, 2008 7:01 pm

    Craigslist #8: I think he shaved his head a little _too_ close.

  13. justretiredguy
    April 28, 2008 7:26 pm

    He probably doesn’t like brown eyes because they doesn’t show up as well in the specimin bottles he has hidden in the little fridge in his basement.