Some sick bastard and by sick bastard I mean “my hero” is shooting Seattle’s pigeons in the head with darts.

Someone is impaling pigeons in downtown Seattle with metal darts, and the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is putting up $2,000 to help find out who. “This is just a horrifying case,” she said. “Someone who would do this to an animal is a short step away from doing this to a human being.”

Okay, first of all, let me make it perfectly clear that I have not been to Seattle yet in my life.

Second, when I hear that pigeons are being impaled with darts through their heads, I am aware that society dictates that I be aghast and being PC dictates that I write about it and use words like “horrifying” and “deranged” and “vile monster” but instead the only words going through my head when I see this picture:

Are these words right here:

Clearly. I am a cold heartless bitch and I need therapy to get in touch with my feeeeeelings.

Whatever.

It’s funny as hell.

Also, when I look at that picture, I keep hearing this high-pitched voice with an English accent:  “Do I have something on my head, Gov’nah?”

(h/t reader C H)

Category: The Damn Pigeons | April 30, 2008 | | ShareThis