Random n’at.

1.  Yellow wedge sandals in the window of Macy’s on the Fifth Avenue corner.  Must own.  Will own.

2.  To the attractive blond lady, late 30s, in the long lime green coat, downtown.  Yesterday afternoon, I saw you hunch down to put out your cigarette on the sidewalk and then run over to the trashcan to throw it away before you breathlessly hopped on your bus.  Normally, to me, smoking sucks about 50% of the hot out of a person.  But I want you to know that at that moment, I could not have found you more attractive.  PittGirl loves you. You’re the next Awesome Burgher and your crown is in the mail.  And by crown I mean a kiss of thanks on your cheek for setting an example for others.

3.  Mark Spector from The National Post up there in Canada called Gary Robert (sic) “irrelevant” and tried to insinuate that the reason the Pens are winning is because Gary Roberts is not playing.

That sound you hear is thousands of WWGRD rubber bracelets being violently shot at Mark Spector’s groin area.

4.  Mark Spector also wrote:

True story: A Pittsburgh TV crew was in a taxi on the way to the morning skate when their cabbie nearly sideswiped a BMW. At the next light, the BMW driver got out, ripped open the cabbie’s door, and punched him right in the face.  “It was unbelievable,” said the camera guy. “And I’m asking him, ‘Hey, is the meter still running?'”

Hah!

5.  A councilman in Farrell asked if super low baggy pants could be considered indecent and it made front page news there, enough so that they sent poor David Highfield out to interview some kids trying to play basketball in their saggy pants.  While it’s surprising that it made the news, that’s not my point.  My point is this.  Is that kid’s belt around his KNEES?

That is so ridiculous.  Before you know it, girls will be wearing their bras as belts and their underwear as hair scrunchies.  Kids these days.

GET OFF MY LAWN!

6.  The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat is in fine form with this line from his recent post about the foreclosure “crisis.”

Certainly it is not TIME TO CRACK EACH OTHERS SKULLS OPEN AND FEAST ON THE GOOEY MATTER INSIDE.

I don’t know if it is the word “gooey” or the image of zombies or the use of the giant capitals or what, but that line makes me laugh every time I read it.

7.  My new favorite name from the Random Name Generator:

Hipolito Frankenberger.

That sounds like a good name for my next dog.  I’m assuming dogs such as my current ones, that eat poop and drink pee, don’t live very long.  I could be wrong.  Also, suddenly it has dawned on me why their breath is so horribly face-meltingly rancid. Duh and ew!

8.  Facebook friend Julia wrote:

“I wanted to let you know that on my way to work this morning, I almost kicked a pigeon. Almost… it flew away before I would’ve walked into it.”

Oh, Julia. You’re obviously NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! Tsk.

9.  That is quite a fine “handsome young man” there.  If you can look at picture one and not laugh out loud, could you please tell me how you do that?  Do you think about dead puppies or grandma boobies or Lukey or something?





16 Comments

  1. Charlie
    April 30, 2008 9:56 am

    I got the new Grand Theft Auto last night for PS3…PittGirl you need to find someone with it just to experience the pigeon shooting…its definitely not easy but the first thing I did when I got a gun was try to find the birds!



  2. Maria
    April 30, 2008 10:09 am

    “Coming up at 11: Yellow wedge sandals in the window of Macy’s on the Fifth Avenue corner. Must own. Will own.”

    Still trying to cover up your identity, Ken Rice? =)



  3. justretiredguy
    April 30, 2008 10:56 am

    Pittgirl,

    I had a dalmation that enjoyed eating poop (rose bushes, rocks, cigarette lighters, dirt, etc.) and she lived to the ripe old age of 14. I have a geriatric sheltie (13) who enjoys the occasional turd. I had another sheltie that didn’t eat them. She just liked to carry them around in her mouth.



  4. RR
    April 30, 2008 10:58 am

    9. Jim Krenn lovechild?



  5. unsatisfied
    April 30, 2008 11:39 am

    I have a slightly deranged yellow lab who eats his own poop sometimes — it’s like recycling.



  6. Bram R
    April 30, 2008 12:00 pm

    If you got yourself a PO box, your closet would be overflowing with yellow, black, and sequined wedged sandals by week’s end.



  7. Sofa King
    April 30, 2008 12:02 pm

    Holy crap, is that Donkey Lips?



  8. Muddypelican
    April 30, 2008 12:32 pm

    every once in a while my dog will get a bug up her ass and sniff her freshly dumped poop, then stop drop and roll in it, flopping around like a fish out of water.



  9. Stephanique1
    April 30, 2008 12:49 pm

    9.) Is he brushing his teeth?…Seriously? Boy does he know what ladies want!



  10. Julie
    April 30, 2008 12:54 pm

    I promise to try harder, PG. Pigeons are freakin everywhere in Oakland, so it shouldn’t be too hard. :)Now if those falcons up on top of the Cathedral would start doing their part, too…



  11. toni
    April 30, 2008 1:16 pm

    No, it wouldn’t b thinking of Lukey…thinking of Lukey makes me WANT to brush my teeth. YECK!



  12. Pensgirl
    April 30, 2008 1:30 pm

    Mark Spector also went on the Pens’ radio broadcast during the first intermission of Sunday’s game and talked about how the calls the Rangers and their fans are crying about Sidney “diving” on were good calls by the refs. You win some, you lose some. WWGRD? Not care about some guy from Edmonton.

    He’ll probably play tomorrow, what with Max’s broken foot.



  13. lemons
    April 30, 2008 2:09 pm

    Hahaha. I saw the handsome young man ad today and totally thought of you. You didn’t disappoint.



  14. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    April 30, 2008 2:41 pm

    I was waiting for the MAX (Portland, OR’s light rail) to go into work this morning and a little boy was throwing rocks at the pigeons. His little sister told him to stop because he was scaring the “pretty birdies”. The boy looks at his mom, who say, “go ahead, they’re just rats with wings.” That kid had the biggest smile on his face and just went right on hurling whatever he could get his hands on at those bird.



  15. GreeneThumb
    April 30, 2008 3:07 pm

    How could anyone call Gary Roberts irrelevant? Last night, after being a healthy scratch for the first time in his career, Mr. Roberts took his game to a new level when he “decided” that Sean Avery didn’t need to be on the ice either. All this from Mario’s box at the Garden…

    Ga-ry
    Ga-ry
    Ga-ry



  16. Angie
    May 1, 2008 7:39 am

    seriously… brushing his teeth, am i seeing that right? how lame is that!?

    My gary robert-ism for the day is:

    Gary roberts can lacerate a player’s spleen just by thinking about how he would cross-check him.

    Wdve’s website has a ton of these. some of them are hilarious!