- April 30, 2008
- filed under Awesome Burghers, Downtown happenings, Mayor Ravenstahl, Penguins, The Damn Pigeons, Weird Burghers
1. Yellow wedge sandals in the window of Macy’s on the Fifth Avenue corner. Must own. Will own.
2. To the attractive blond lady, late 30s, in the long lime green coat, downtown. Yesterday afternoon, I saw you hunch down to put out your cigarette on the sidewalk and then run over to the trashcan to throw it away before you breathlessly hopped on your bus. Normally, to me, smoking sucks about 50% of the hot out of a person. But I want you to know that at that moment, I could not have found you more attractive. PittGirl loves you. You’re the next Awesome Burgher and your crown is in the mail. And by crown I mean a kiss of thanks on your cheek for setting an example for others.
3. Mark Spector from The National Post up there in Canada called Gary Robert (sic) “irrelevant” and tried to insinuate that the reason the Pens are winning is because Gary Roberts is not playing.
That sound you hear is thousands of WWGRD rubber bracelets being violently shot at Mark Spector’s groin area.
4. Mark Spector also wrote:
True story: A Pittsburgh TV crew was in a taxi on the way to the morning skate when their cabbie nearly sideswiped a BMW. At the next light, the BMW driver got out, ripped open the cabbie’s door, and punched him right in the face. “It was unbelievable,” said the camera guy. “And I’m asking him, ‘Hey, is the meter still running?'”
5. A councilman in Farrell asked if super low baggy pants could be considered indecent and it made front page news there, enough so that they sent poor David Highfield out to interview some kids trying to play basketball in their saggy pants. While it’s surprising that it made the news, that’s not my point. My point is this. Is that kid’s belt around his KNEES?
That is so ridiculous. Before you know it, girls will be wearing their bras as belts and their underwear as hair scrunchies. Kids these days.
GET OFF MY LAWN!
6. The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat is in fine form with this line from his recent post about the foreclosure “crisis.”
Certainly it is not TIME TO CRACK EACH OTHERS SKULLS OPEN AND FEAST ON THE GOOEY MATTER INSIDE.
I don’t know if it is the word “gooey” or the image of zombies or the use of the giant capitals or what, but that line makes me laugh every time I read it.
7. My new favorite name from the Random Name Generator:
That sounds like a good name for my next dog. I’m assuming dogs such as my current ones, that eat poop and drink pee, don’t live very long. I could be wrong. Also, suddenly it has dawned on me why their breath is so horribly face-meltingly rancid. Duh and ew!
8. Facebook friend Julia wrote:
“I wanted to let you know that on my way to work this morning, I almost kicked a pigeon. Almost… it flew away before I would’ve walked into it.”
Oh, Julia. You’re obviously NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH! Tsk.
9. That is quite a fine “handsome young man” there. If you can look at picture one and not laugh out loud, could you please tell me how you do that? Do you think about dead puppies or grandma boobies or Lukey or something?