Let’s go Pens, and uh, Jaromir Jagr, too.

I realize that the following are true:

  • Jaromir Jagr is no longer a Penguin and hasn’t been one for a long long time.
  • Jaromir Jagr had/has a gambling problem.
  • As a good Burgher, I should boo and hate and possibly try to Juju-curse Jaromir Jagr, because he is a “traitor” and because he talks smack about Sid.

However, all of the following are true as well:

  • I love Jaromir Jagr. I always have and unless he hunts me down and sticks an angry pigeon down my shirt, I always will.
  • If I wasn’t already dealing with the constant bickering of three very different imaginary self-united husbands, I’d totally self-unite with Jaromir Jagr, too.
  • Jaromir Jagr is a fun name to say.
  • When Jaromir Jagr and Ruutu were jawing at each other yesterday, and Jaromir threw some jesting kissy-kisses at Ruutu, resulting in Ruutu pushing him to the ice in anger … I loved Jaromir Jagr all the more. I love Ruutu, but come on, that was awesome. Here’s a very grainy video of it that Saucy took, but I’ll upload a better quality one later:

  • When the game was over and Jaromir Jagr didn’t just shake the hands of the Pens, but looked every single one of our boys in the eyes and congratulated them with sincere graciousness and a smile on his face … well, I wonder if Jaromir Jagr has any babies he’d like me to birth for him? (Coming up at 11:00!)
  • As suggested to me by a reader, I completely agree that the Pens should sign Jaromir Jagr to a one-year contract so that he can end his career as a Penguin.

Yesterday, while watching the game with my family (kids and dogs and big people flipping out everywhere) I turned to my brother-in-law, who as a person that has lived all over the country and prides himself that the Pens are his fourth favorite team (I believe after the Lakers, the Raiders, and some other major loser team), and said to him, “I love Jaromir Jagr.” My brother-in-law looked at me like I just grew some gerbera daisies out of my forehead and said, “OMG. I HATE Jaromir Jagr. Hate.”

When Jaromir Jagr kissy-kissed Ruutu, I turned to my brother-in-law and said, “I love Jaromir Jagr even MORE now.”

He looked at me like I might know what I’m talking about because as he said, “That was pretty funny.”

When the game was over and Jaromir was being his hot, gracious self, I looked at my brother-in-law and said, “I REALLY REALLY love Jaromir Jagr” and my brother-in-law looked at me and said, “I must admit, that was very gracious of Jagr.”

That was my opening. “Brother-in-law, think about this. You’re Jaromir Jagr. You’re free after this season and you’re in the twilight of your career. You’re thinking of heading to Russia to play one more season. Why not just sign with the Pens for one more year? End your career with the team you started with. Go full circle. You’ve still got a house in the city! Why the hell not? Could you imagine a Crosby-Malkin-Jagr line coming at a goalie? Hawt.”

While my mother immediately jumped on that train like it was the last one until next Tuesday, my brother-in-law came THIS close to running along side it and hopping on board. It eventually left the station without him.

Do any of YOU agree with me? Don’t you think the Burgh would welcome Jaromir Jagr back with open arms and maybe some boob-flashing?

I should say here that my wanting Jagr back on the Penguins is not intended as disrespect to Hossa, because after yesterday’s game, I’m wondering if Hossa might also have any use for my womb?

Coming up next at 11:00! Only on KDKA.





31 Comments

  1. REARless
    May 5, 2008 9:16 am

    Well if the Pens can’t afford him, maybe the Bucco’s of Succitude (sp?) will. It can’t make them any worse.



  2. pittgirl
    May 5, 2008 9:19 am

    Suckitude. Suckitude. Suckitude. Tsk. ;)

    Although Buccos of Succotude looks kinda cool.

    Also, HAH!



  3. Brother Anthony
    May 5, 2008 9:36 am

    The Pens are about to lose lots of talent to free agency. Jagr would be a nice replacement if his contract is one year and runs out before the youngsters get their big pay. Actually, he’d be the first “finisher” Crosby’s ever had on his line.

    I think the fans’ hatred is built on a fickle enough a foundation that they could raze it in favor of love when he returned.

    I say bring the dude back. He is awesome when he has to be.

    Don’t sign Avery.



  4. In Sewickley
    May 5, 2008 9:43 am

    “Coming up next at 11:00! Only on KDKA.”

    Maybe you really are Ken Rice. ;-)



  5. suzinpgh
    May 5, 2008 9:49 am

    I second your sentiments, Pittgirl. Could never understand the Jagr hate. There were a lot of guys on both teams who played really, really hard in this series, but no one worked harder out there every single shift than Jagr. Despite his bouts with immature behavior, he has always given credit (revering Mario) and exhibited class at the right times, and the handshake line yesterday was no exception. My only concern in signing him for a year would be getting a promise from him that the immature behavior is behind him, because I don’t want the chemistry on this team disturbed by his antics. I don’t think that MT would put up with any crap from him, anyway.



  6. joey
    May 5, 2008 10:00 am

    My dirty secret: I was rooting for Jagr. How can you not like the guy?



  7. BobM
    May 5, 2008 10:08 am

    You may be on to something. As an alternative, if he is ready to end his days in the NHL, it would be classy to sign Jags to a one-day contract; he absolutely should retire as a Pen.



  8. jlp
    May 5, 2008 11:01 am

    Yes! Bring him back for one more year or one more game and allow him to retire as a Penguin. He was a class act all the way yesterday. REAL Penguins fans will welcome back with open arms.



  9. Sandy
    May 5, 2008 11:18 am

    I support this, because I don’t really understand the Jagr hate. Please tell me when you get the petition together, and I shall sign it.



  10. Kathleen in Moon
    May 5, 2008 11:29 am

    I’ve been heart-ing Jagr the last few days, too. I cringed when the Pens fans booed him every time he got the puck and noticed his sincerity at the end of Sunday’s game, too. Years ago I went to the Robinson Giant Eagle to meet him and buy his book. After the meet n’ greet he sat in the take-out-food area and ate Iggle fried chicken . I couldn’t stop looking at his thighs: they were like tree trunks. Yep, I say we bring Jags back.



  11. curtO.
    May 5, 2008 11:48 am

    I think the booing is out of respect for his game. We know how good he is, and if he feels comfortable in the house that he brought 2 Stanley Cups to, then watch out. There is a reason why in sports there is a ‘home’ team and an ‘away’ team. Don’t get that twisted…Should we cheer for RJ in the next round? WELL, he is from Plum afterall…

    sarcasm
    Should everyone have cheered for him if he got a goal, or made a nice play? I mean come’on, he DID play for Pittsburgh and we should be happy when he scores on us.
    /sarcasm

    Don’t get me wrong…that doesn’t mean anyone should hate the guy, want to slash his tires, or take his Iggle fried chicken. It just means when he wears a Blue Shirt at Mellon Arena, we need to pay special attention to making him feel a little uncomfortable. If he were to play a game with a Pens crest on his sweater again, I’d be cheering and pounding on the glass for him…yeah, my seats are like that, what’s up PG, wanna see it first hand? Take your pick, Friday or Sunday…



  12. Jim
    May 5, 2008 12:47 pm

    Wow. All these baby and womb references! As I pause to wipe the excess estrogen dripping from my laptop, I can’t help but notice the tick-tick-ticking sound, reminiscent of the alarm clock in the belly of the Tick-Tock the alligator. Pray for the sake of Captain Hook that fair maiden PittGirl treads not near his presence, let the sounds emanating from her biological clock be mistaken for the fearsome alligator that haunts his every waking moment.



  13. LisaC
    May 5, 2008 12:48 pm

    unless he … sticks an angry pigeon down my shirt…

    And how about if he sticks a happy pigeon down your shirt? ;)



  14. GreeneThumb
    May 5, 2008 12:53 pm

    Ya gotta wonder what Jarkko was whispering to him to get him so mad.



  15. unsatisfied
    May 5, 2008 12:53 pm

    my 2 nephs and I were up in E yesterday for this game — I am still hoarse from all of the cheering, especially at the end. I will gladly give up my ability to speak for my beloved pens.

    what pissed me off, though, were the jagoffs (male and female pens fans) sitting behind us, calling jagr a “faggot” at every opportunity.

    look, I don’t know what jagr’s sexual preference is — and, I don’t care. and, I probably haven’t called someone a “fag” in 20 years — and, when I did, it was more in the jeff spicoli fashion than meant as a slur (hell, I was a young man back then).

    but — I could not understand the attitude of these fans. boo jagr all you want — but, “faggot” — really? I’m not being overly sensitive — it’s just that these people are idiots. (much like the pens fan who kept yelling “let’s go pens” while 124 of us were in line for the men’s room before the 3rd period, then admonishing us when us when we didn’t respond to him. dude, I gotta piss like the kentucky derby winner — I’ll be more than happy to give you a “let’s go pens” when I’m done…)

    I can state that I didn’t like jagr’s leadership skills during his last few seasons with the pens (“dying alive,” anyone?). but, he was a hell of a player — and, still is, to some degree.

    if he ever comes back for one more pens season, that’d be alright with me.



  16. PittinDC
    May 5, 2008 1:05 pm

    I totally agree, PittGirl. Bring Jagr back. I LOVE HIM!! I’ve always had love for Jagr. When everyone was hopping on the Mario train in the ’90s, I was all about me some Jagr (not that I didn’t love Mario.. I just loved Jagr more). So I say definetly bring him back. I think I still have my Czech-mate poster that I could hang up.



  17. mis
    May 5, 2008 1:19 pm

    Yeah, bring him back!
    I remember when we were winning the cup and someone figured out that if you rearranged Jaromir you got Mario Jr.



  18. Pensgirl
    May 5, 2008 1:44 pm

    Hating Jaromir Jagr would NOT make you a “good” Pittsburgher! It would make you an oversensitive whiny Pittsburgher who completely misinterpreted one thing he said years and years ago. Traitor my ass…he’s an incredibly moody (maybe bipolar?) individual who was seemingly deeply depressed and felt he needed a change of scenery. What a crime.

    That said, people are allowed to be oversensitive and whiny about him, and you are allowed to say “shut up I love him.” None of it has any effect on one’s status as a “good” or “bad” Pittsburgher. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!

    Attending games, I realized that a lot fewer people are booing him than it sounds like on TV. It increased in the playoffs, but that was 1) the strategy thing I mentioned above and 2) a reaction to the petulant way he was behaving in the immediate series. He really did whine up a storm, though like you said he manned-up at the end.

    Personally I’ve just hated that he’s been with the Rangers. Any team but New York or Philly and I could have supported the idea of him leading a team to a Cup…but not for them.



  19. John
    May 5, 2008 2:01 pm

    I watched the game at the Buffalo Wild Wings in Robinson, and at the end of the game, when the camera was on Jagr, spontaneous applause started in the restaurant. It was nice to see that some people still respect Jags as the 2nd best Penguin ever. And PG, I’m with you – if he’ll be willing to sign a one year deal, then by all means, JJ should come back to the Burgh and finish his career where it began. Russia can wait another year.



  20. Pensgirl
    May 5, 2008 2:04 pm

    Oops, somehow I forgot that I deleted my initial reference to “the strategy thing” in edit. By that I meant people who boo him because they believe it throws him off his game. Those people may well like him but do it to try to give the Pens an advantage.



  21. JamieO
    May 5, 2008 2:59 pm

    There are Burgh sports fans who boo a player that leaves, knowing full well if someone offered them a lot of more money for a job they would be all “See ya, Pittsburgh” and spend the next 10 years driving their co-workers insane with french-fries-on-sammich stories.



  22. Magnus Patris
    May 5, 2008 3:04 pm

    Jarko to Jaromir: “Your mother wears shoes in the style of those worn by the former Czechoslovak Socialist Republic Army.”

    Jaromir to Jarko: “I question the presence of your father at your conception.”

    Jarko to Jaromir: “I love that picture of you wearing clothing for women on Pittgirl website.”

    Jaromir to Jarko: “Kiss me you fool.”



  23. Displaced Burgher
    May 5, 2008 3:31 pm

    Half the people booing don’t even know why they do it. There’s a few a-holes who start it and then half the arena joins in. It sickens me. A player that gave so many years, so many goals, so many great memories, and helped us win two Cups deserves more respect than that. I don’t know when it started, either – I was at his first game back in Pittsburgh after he went to the Caps, and I don’t remember any booing at all during that game. I’d love to see him back in black & gold but the way he’s treated when he’s back in town, I wouldn’t blame him if he turned us down.



  24. Still A Fan
    May 5, 2008 5:24 pm

    hmmm, the person that suggested that must be REALLY smart



  25. johnaz6312
    May 5, 2008 6:04 pm

    First off I want to say that I do not dislike Jagr by any means. I am a former Pittsburgher living in Tempe AZ & have been an avid Penguins fan for at least the last 35 years,even in the bad old days for the team. But to bring him back would not be a good idea. Never mind his “moodiness” but we have to think salary cap here. He would want too much to play & the team needs to think young at this point. They have alot of good young players that, well need to play. Unfortunatley,he is our past, the future is now. If he wants to retire as a Penguin, then I’m all for it. By the way Pittgirl, if your ever in Arizona look me up, I’ll show you around town and take you to a Steelers bar right here in Tempe!



  26. Jessica
    May 5, 2008 7:38 pm

    I don’t have any real problems with Jagr and I’ll never boo him at a game because of all of the great accomplishments that he achieved as a Penguin. BUT. I wouldn’t sign him for this reason:

    When Jagr is on his game, he’s sick, and can’t be stopped. HOWEVER, when Jagr’s off his game, he’ll make sure everyone knows and try to bring everyone down with him. (Remember his pre-trade quote — “I feel like I’m dying alive.”). To me, that’s just something our young, passionate team doesn’t need in the locker room.

    But regardless… LETS GO PENS!



  27. Melissa
    May 5, 2008 10:31 pm

    Totally agree Pitt Girl!!!!! I”m not jumping on the bandwagon/train either. I posted my feelings of signing Jagr next year myself. Maybe we can get a petition together.

    Jessica, I know what your saying about his “dying alive” stuff (I was disappointed too) but that was a while ago and he was younger. There are lots of things I do (almost everyday) where I regret them. I say give him a chance.



  28. Lynsie
    May 5, 2008 10:50 pm

    Can’t believe I’m in the minority on this one, but there’s something about Jagr I just don’t like. Maybe it’s because he took a leak on my cousin’s shoe at a nightclub one time…on purpose. Hmm…wonder if he still has that shoe? Hmm…wonder if it would sell on ebay?

    Regardless of my lack of love, I totally think every old school Pens fan who has a vintage 68 jersey hanging in their closet should black out the R and proudly wear it as a “Jag” shirt this Friday. It’s doesn’t get anymore Pittsburgh than that.



  29. abc
    May 5, 2008 10:55 pm

    i would welcome jagr back with boob flashing as well.



  30. gjhead
    May 6, 2008 7:35 am

    I’m not sure if I would want to see Jags come back to the Pens for one more year, but I am in the minority of folks who refuse to boo him still. Jags is a good guy and an awesome hockey player who was great for Pittsburgh while he was here.



  31. Kristin
    May 6, 2008 9:18 am

    Reading this post was like deja vu! I called my mom after the game to gush about how great Jagr is (even if he isn’t a Penguin anymore) and how classy it was of him to shake everyone’s hand and tell them good job. Jagr blowing kisses a Ruutu. . .awesome! I’ll welcome him back with open arms. Back when he was still a Penguin, my mom had such a HUGE crush on him that she actually bought Jagr peanut butter. So when I called her on Sunday, her first sentence was “I think I need to break out the peanut butter!”