Random n’at.

1.  Do not ask me why, but in a mood for a funny book, I picked up a copy of George Carlin’s latest book, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? at Target (or as we pronounce it in my giant family “Tar-jay” or sometimes “Oshikuru”, but that’s a story for another time — a story involving my nephew, the letter O, and Two and a Half Men.)

If you can get past the sacrilege of some portions of it, and if you can get past the sometimes shocking suggestions and opinions he throws out there in the name of satire, the book will have you laughing quite a bit.  Last night, his little section about how it pisses him off when he hears casual cell phone conversations, when in fact he feels that cell phones should be used for times when the conversation will start with things like, “Hey, Joe.  Listen.  My pants are on fire…” –I swear I pulled a muscle laughing at it.

Next I’m reading Walking in Circles Before Lying Down.  Hope that’s good, too.

2.  You know how I feel about the kids, but I’d be lying if I said that this site that reader Jake forwarded me didn’t make me LOL.  My favorite critique of the kids’ artwork was, “Ding. Ding. Here comes the shit-mobile.”

Hah!  I don’t care who you are, that’s just funny.

3.  Reader Brenna forwarded me a link to his YouTube video 125 Years of Pittsburgh Sports and as a Burger present or former, you will love it.

It made me miss Bill Cowher a little bit.  Okay, a lot.

4.  Hockey.  Pittsburgh versus Philadelphia.  Seeing as Philadelphia is a seething pot of gross filth and loserdom, and Pittsburgh, despite the smog, is forever a bright shining winning light, I’m thinking we’re going all the way this year.

Also, if Woy ever posts Part Two of the PittGirl interview, I believe there’s a little something something in there about Philadelphia.

5.  If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted about Pittsburgh overtaking LA for the worst air in the nation, it’s because I refuse to believe it is true.  I have a friend that went to college in LA and the smog burned a hole in her lung.  Okay?  A HOLE IN HER LUNG.

Pittsburgh worse than LA?  [hands over ears]  La-la-la-la-lah. I can’t hear you. [cough]

6.  My minions have posted some pretty awesome pictures over at The Fans of PittGirl Facebook page.  Photos such as:

From Brian:

From Carly:

From Bobby:

That’s church.

7.  Wait, that’s not church.  A reporter in St. Louis says forget Jennifer Love Hewitt.  It’s David Conrad that brings the sexy.

Now THAT is church.

8.  If you Google “David Conrad” I am the 19th listing to pop up.  Not good enough.  I want David to Google himself and be immediately smacked between the eyeballs with the words “The Burgh Blog.”

9.  Downloaded to Diggory Ormerod Coveney this weekend — Blind Melon, Trisha Yearwood, Dixie Chicks, Aleks Syntek, Reba (don’t be a hater just because you’re not as insanely cool as me).  Enough songs to crap him out and max him out.  Obviously, Diggory will be replaced soon with a newer, larger, more thugalicious model capable of handling the crap music I listen to.


  1. thunderboltfan
    May 5, 2008 12:23 pm

    Re. LA vs. PGH air quality. My sister went to college in the late ’70s, early ’80s in LA and I live in LA now. (We both were born and raised here in the Burgh.) When she visited me in LA a couple years ago she remarked at how much cleaner (okay, okay; maybe she said “how much less disgustingly polluted”) the air was. She definitely made it seem like the hole-in-the-lung thing was possible.

    We still have bad days here and there in LA. It depends so much on where you are–coastal areas, valley, further inland, port proximity, etc.

    And the article about the report was only referring to soot, not ground-level ozone. In that respect, Pittsburgh “wins!”

  2. Kelli
    May 5, 2008 1:19 pm

    I need to read more up on this – but I seemed to understand from one report that maybe our soot levels were so high because those conducting the study put the soot-measuring device next to the Edgar Thompson Works.

    Which would, at the very least say that North Braddock is the sootiest city (I use that term loosely) in America.

    I’m not really strong in science, but I seem to think if you want to measure the levels of something in Pittsburgh, it should be done in Pittsburgh. I now question this study.

    Did anyone else hear this and maybe can comment on this? Like, some science-y people?

  3. DUQ412
    May 5, 2008 1:31 pm

    Just so you know, the “Crappy Kid’s Artwork” page started on Maddox’s website (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule) and has been plagarized extensively from there. Mentioning that in the name of truth and justice.

  4. Pensgirl
    May 5, 2008 2:35 pm

    2. Tears. Streaming. Down. My. Face. So funny!

    4. Here are some things that have been unleashed on the world since the Flyers last won a Cup:

    Saturday Night Live
    President Jimmy Carter
    Star Wars
    a Pittsburgh Pirates championship
    four Pittsburgh Steelers championships
    Sidney Crosby
    two Pittsburgh Penguins championships
    “You’ve got mail!”

    5. Evidently this isn’t really the whole of Pittsburgh but just one small area that’s bringin’ us all down…I need to find the reference I read on that and pass it along.

  5. JP
    May 5, 2008 2:56 pm

    Just goes to show you what a racket those “liveable city” indicies are. I guess per capita respitory disorders are not part of Rand McNally grading scale.

  6. Magnus Patris
    May 5, 2008 3:09 pm

    Man, I am so sorry, I have to apologize in advance to everyone in Pittsburgh; one of those air quality monitoring devices has been placed right outside my house. Pittsburgh will be named the “farty-est” city after today. They probably shouldn’t have put it up on Cinco de Mayo.

  7. JamieO
    May 5, 2008 3:16 pm


    If you loved the critique of kid art, you would love David Sedaris’ short story “Front and Center with Thaddeus Bristol”, from his collection “Holidays on Ice”.

    It’s a critique of elementary school Christmas pageants, done by a fictional snobby theater critic. The fictional critique rips the kids like they were actual actors. It’s nasty and hilarious.

  8. justretiredguy
    May 5, 2008 3:24 pm

    Yeah, putting the measuring device next to the second biggest coke works in the country may have skewed the results a tad.

  9. JP
    May 5, 2008 3:35 pm

    from PPG
    Kevin Stewart, director of environmental health for the American Lung Association of Pennsylvania, said he understands Pittsburgh’s frustration with the No. 1 ranking, but even if the Liberty-Clairton area is removed from the calculations, the metropolitan area would still rank 16th worst out of 222 metropolitan areas covered in the report

  10. GreeneThumb
    May 5, 2008 3:45 pm

    Sure, your atmosphere’s already shot-how bout yinz just build a coupla more power plants in YOUR back 40 and by the way, couldja jist send us the electrons. Don’t worry about the towers-your air is already so thick with soot you won’t be able to see them anyway.

  11. Steve
    May 5, 2008 4:18 pm

    Let’s Go Flyers clap-clap-clapclapclap!

    Honestly, this is going to one ugly series that we’ll tell our grandkids about. Hope to see Crosby’s buck teeth knocked out!

  12. Mitch Cumstein
    May 5, 2008 6:19 pm

    I want you to get this #$@! where he breathes! I want you to find this nancy-boy Steve, I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES!

    Go Pens.

  13. pittgirl
    May 5, 2008 6:36 pm

    Heee. Excellent, Mitch. Excellent.

  14. frittob
    May 5, 2008 8:25 pm

    the crayon drawing website is part of a reporter in kansas’s website … not sure what it means, but found this on his resume:

    > ktka-49, topeka, ks. summer intern reporter : 06.95 – 07.95

    k-T-ka … hmmm

  15. pittmom
    May 6, 2008 9:16 am

    love your blog. I sent the youtube link to my dad and my son…both will love it.

  16. amy
    May 6, 2008 3:54 pm

    Hi! Long-time lurker … I lived in Los Angeles for eight years before moving back to the ‘Burgh (where I grew up) about a year ago.

    I lived in Redondo Beach. Maybe 4 days/year, I’d get on the 405 to drive to work and I could see the mountains and the Hollywood sign. The rest of the year? You would have no idea that mountains even existed unless you were driving over one.

    There is no way that the air here in the ‘Burgh is anywhere near as bad as the air in LA. I’ll shut up now.

  17. professional
    July 19, 2008 9:40 pm

    Hello. I think you are eactly thinking like Sukrat. I really loved the post.