PittGirl wants to know.

So many questions and no one with any answers.

1.  First up, regarding the owner of The Tiger Ranch “shelter” who will stand trial for the abuse of 400 feral, sick and abandoned cats, 100 of which were euthanized — said the owner’s defense attorney:

This is the first serious attempt to shut down a no-kill facility. That’s what this is.”

The question: Is it really a no-kill facility when the animals are all sick, dying or dead?  Or is it just a slow-kill facility.  Just because you’re not actually slitting their throats doesn’t mean you’re not killing them.  Either way:  GUILTY!

2.  From the PG:

A customer used a broom to fight off a knife-wielding suspect who tried to rob a store in Somerset Township last night, state police said. The suspect fled to a waiting vehicle, but eyewitnesses obtained the license plate number and gave it to state police. The witness reported the occupant of the vehicle was seen throwing clothing from the car window.

The question: Why did the occupant throw clothing out of the vehicle?  Was it stolen clothing?  Was there drug residue on the clothing?  Was he taking clothing off of his body?  Was he hoping to be the next Scary Naked Bleeding Man?  Either way:  KEEP YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON!

3.  King Kong is sadcakes:

The nonprofit University of Pittsburgh Medical Center — a profit machine in recent years — did something rare during the first nine months of fiscal 2008.

It lost money.

Question: Does anyone, anyone at all, care that King Kong, a for-profit giant hiding behind a non-profit piece of paper, didn’t actually turn a profit?  Not me.  Not me at all.  King Kong can come and kiss my ass.  And speaking of ass-kissing …

4.  Those newlyweds that went ballistic on the “Good Samaritans” held a news conference to give their side of the story and their side was basically that they were defending themselves:

The bride who was jailed along with her groom after a wedding night brawl said yesterday the melee started when she stuck out her rear end for her husband to kiss during a boisterous argument in a hotel hallway.

When the cops questioned the groom about kicking her in the butt, did he say, “Well, she was ASKING FOR IT!”

Either way:  Don’t ask for it.  You might get it.

5.  Innocent until proven guilty be damned, the man that last year raped and killed that girl riding her ATV  and then confessed to it, claimed yesterday on the stand in his own defense that a complete stranger showed up on his land with the ATV and the dead girl and offered him $100 to bury the ATV.

Returning to the truck, Mr. Martin saw a body in the passenger seat covered with a gray coat. All he could see were a hand, legs and some hair.  “I said, ‘What’s this?’ ” he testified, “and he said, ‘There was an accident.’ At this point, I was so scared and confused I didn’t know what to do.”

The question: You walk up to a guy’s truck, see a girl’s body covered in a coat on the front seat after you’ve helped the man bury an ATV, you’re “scared”, so you look at the murderer and say, “What’s this?”

No.  You do not.  You scream “AUGH!” and you run away like there’s a doll with no face chasing after you.


  1. Mosley
    May 7, 2008 1:44 pm

    I love UPMC. I would give King Kong a big kiss on the lips. Its creating jobs and medical advances right here in Pittsburgh.

  2. efw_west
    May 7, 2008 1:48 pm

    Is there anyone more obnoxious than the “newlyweds”? Hope his practice crashes and burns plus they serve a little jail time.

  3. Brian
    May 7, 2008 1:56 pm

    4. It really does sound like a, “Oh shit, we have to save the business” types of explanations. She works there too. But, you know, I wondered this the day after it happened in that she didn’t have any visible bruising or anything, that maybe the story was overblown. Either way, I’m never going to his practice because he seems like a lowlife (I mean, you don’t HAVE to throw potted plants in a lobby … you CAN walk away from this, drunk or not) and I don’t really care about this anymore.

    On a side note of no relation whatsoever, does anyone else hate the shit out of Gus, Pennsylvania’s second most famous groundhog? I hope he gets mashed in the gears of a combine.

  4. Julie
    May 7, 2008 2:03 pm

    Brian – To your unrelated side note re: Gus the groundhog… yes, I too hate the shit out of that thing. The commercials are getting dumber every time. On an even more unrelated side note, there’s a groundhog living in my neighbor’s yard who is a freakin’ acrobat. This animal will climb to the top of our fence, stand up on its pudgy little hind legs, balance itself on the top of that fence, and pull down branches from a nearby tree for food. It’s bizarre.

  5. Brian
    May 7, 2008 2:23 pm

    Julie — The Halloween scratch-off ticket ad where grown-ass people are in a wagon swaying along to his rendition of the “Monster Mash” nearly drives me to violence against inanimate objects. Oh, and the one where he raps. It’s just incomprehensible how much I hate that bastard. It makes me shake. The regular creatures do not bother me quite as much, though I do find it funny that an entire town basically shuts down every Feb. 2 for one of these jerks to climb his ass out of a hole and stand there. Oh, and the one where Gus tries to get into an effing baseball game with a scratch-off ticket, and the ticket taker is just overjoyed to get one that he’d could buy for $1 anywhere, and he lets that thing into the game. Hey, hell with the job, the groundhog gave me a lottey ticket! Grrr.

  6. retiredguy
    May 7, 2008 2:23 pm


    Armed robbers often wear several layers of clothes so that after the robbery, they can peel off a layer in an attempt to fool the police and eye witnesses.

  7. coach99
    May 7, 2008 2:31 pm

    I am soo sick of the cat farm murders….come on..they were CATS….they should be worrying about kids starving and abused…where are the arrests of the people that gave up the cats???? Are they being cited for abandonment? The lady should be given a medal for dealing with all those cats. What about a pigeon farm???? Someone needs to start one for the abandoned birds from Market Sq.

  8. joey
    May 7, 2008 2:31 pm

    Unfortunately, Pittsburgh’s economy is wedded to UPMC, so yeah, I get kinda concerned when UPMC loses money.

    For example, was just talking to my neighbor in advertising, who mentioned that UPMC is slashing their ad budgets. I can tell you that they are also slashing other budgets. You do the math.

  9. Zsa
    May 7, 2008 2:39 pm

    coach99, I sincerely hope you’re being sarcastic. If you’re not, you’re pretty much an asshole.

    There are no arrests of the people who gave up the cats, because they were under the impression they were surrendering them to a cat rescue.

    From all accounts, the owner got way in over her head, couldn’t say no and took way more cats than she could handle with the room and staff she had. Combine that with the fact that she doesn’t believe in euthanasia for animals under any circumstances (even animals who have incurable diseases and little to no quality of life left) and you have a recipe for One Hot Ass Mess.

  10. day after next
    May 7, 2008 2:46 pm

    Ummm, why did this lady have “dozens of frozen, dead cats found on the property”? She’s really upping the ante on the stigma of creepy cat ladies.

  11. Kelli
    May 7, 2008 3:52 pm

    day after next – she probably froze the cats until she could dispose of them. There are services that will pick up and dispose of animal carcasses. But they aren’t cheap – and if her financial difficulties were as bad as they say, she probably had to save up and make it worth while to have the service come out.

    Even if she were loaded with money, there aren’t that many of these services and they may have chosen to only stop there on some sort of schedule (weekly, monthly, etc.)

    It really isn’t that unusual to freeze animal carcasses until disposal – the Allegheny County Animal Control does the exact same thing.

    (And in fact, it would be pretty gross if said animals weren’t frozen until they could be picked up. In my mind, letting animals rot would be so much worse.)

  12. day after next
    May 7, 2008 4:13 pm

    Kelli – Well put. That being said, I guess I’m just not a fan of dead animals, frozen or otherwise, in my house.

  13. MJ
    May 7, 2008 5:12 pm

    I just typed up a long rant about how great UPMC is (as a proud employee) but I figured I should just keep my mouth shut. My point was, UPMC does great things for Pittsburgh and is a leader in the healthcare industry. We deserve a little more respect from those people that complain about us all the time without knowing what really goes on other than what is in the local papers. It’s not until you learn about everything that UPMC has done and all of the things on the horizon that you realize that we are really a great organization that has and is making a big impact. ‘Nuff said. (That still ended up being longer than I had hoped.)

  14. Gunn Lino
    May 7, 2008 10:04 pm

    It’s not the people who work for/at UPMC that everyone (or most) is upset about, it’s the corporate mentality, the blatant lie that it’s a non-profit and the fact that the “suits” get paid a criminal mount of money while the rest of the joe six-pack employees get chump change.
    Just my 2 cents!

  15. coach99
    May 7, 2008 10:31 pm

    ZSA…..did I upset your PETA sensitivity?? If you want to see an A-hole…look in your own mirror each morning. BTW..I ask again…what concerns have you ever expressed concerning abused and neglected children or homeless people. Oh, right… you are too busy hunting down Cat Killers.
    “Meow, meow, meow meow”..Henrietta Pussy Cat.

  16. bucdaddy
    May 8, 2008 9:42 am

    * raises hand *

    Hate hate hate Gus. I find it ironic that Camel can’t use a cartoon camel to hook people on ciggies, but the STATE can use an animatronic groundhog to hook people on scratch-off games.

    Still not quite as bad as West Virginia using Joe South’s “Games People Play,” a song about con artists, cheats, liars and thieves, to do the same.

  17. Mitch Cumstein
    May 8, 2008 10:09 am

    You wonder how these effed up commercials, like Gus, make their way out of focus groups. Somebody actually had to sit in a meeting and approve it, saying, “yeah, the second-most famous groundhog shiznit is funny.” WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

  18. spoon
    May 8, 2008 10:27 am

    bucdaddy, or the fact the Pirates used a song about masturbation for a full year of promos. That wasn’t all being jerked out.

  19. Julie_Gong
    May 8, 2008 10:40 am


    It soon will take over the world! muhahahahaha

  20. Elle
    May 8, 2008 1:28 pm

    The A-hole award actually goes to coach99 despite his lame protestations to the contrary. Your point is deranged and nonsensical. Just because one cares about the humane treatment of animals doesn’t mean they don’t care about people. You can advocate for animals and people – they are not mutually exclusive campaigns.

  21. bucdaddy
    May 8, 2008 11:15 pm

    Spoon, The Pirates used “Orgasm Addict” for promos?