Start spreading the news …

It would appear that when socialites see the words “wear a hat” they mistakenly READ the words “look ridiculous, if at all possible.”

A few of the ridiculous hats from this year’s Hat Luncheon:

1. Here’s Lukey and Erin.

Erin, as per usual, looks wonderful, even if the pearls clash with the hat that clashes with the dress (I think). Lukey Sinatra says:”I wanna wake up in a city, that doesn’t sleep, and find I’m king of the hill – top of the heap.”

Also, shouldn’t a fedora sit down a little further on the head?

2.  You know what?  When you wake up in the morning, walk outside, and a rooster goes and dies on your head, just go back to bed. No good will come of that day.

3.  Lady?  That buzzing sound you hear?

Bees.  Horny bees.  Also?  Flowers are not a hat.  Take a lesson.

4.  But this hat:

PittGirl approved.

5.  Scroll up, see what I wrote about what to do when a rooster dies on your head:

And replace “rooster” with “peacock.”

(h/t Liz)





33 Comments

  1. coach99
    May 7, 2008 2:33 pm

    Oh, I just love to watch the rich at play.



  2. expghgirl
    May 7, 2008 2:39 pm

    Besides the pearls and that big tool on her arm Erin looks wonderful! A fedora is supposed to sit further down, but that’s impossible when your head is that fat!
    I’m just amazed that the rest of these people looked in their mirrors and said “Yes, this is the one!”, blew kisses at themselves, and then had the nerve to walk out in public!
    Ughhhh!



  3. John
    May 7, 2008 2:39 pm

    Lukey Sinatra… you and me must be on the same wavelength, PG, because the first thing I thought of when I saw that pic was, “Hmm… I wonder if Lukey has any clue that hat makes him look like Frank Sinatra’s illegitimate bastard.”



  4. Sofa King
    May 7, 2008 2:46 pm

    I almost went into another catatonic fit, much as I did when I saw the Hat Luncheon post last year, but then I saw the Stanley Cup hat.
    God bless that woman and her silly-hat-wearing self.



  5. wshicldtel
    May 7, 2008 2:50 pm

    Mike Tomlin is definately saying “No more hat parties for you honey”.



  6. Chris
    May 7, 2008 3:06 pm

    Wow…#5 just leaves me saying wow….who had to sit behind her???



  7. KGC
    May 7, 2008 3:23 pm

    Oh, that slave of fashion, Lukey. An open collar dress shirt with a suit jacket and *gag* a full white T-shirt! Probably was wearing white socks and black shoes with a brown belt. What-a-tool.

    Now, Erin is a little on the attractive side, even though I surmise she has wiiiide hips (based on other photos) and will expand to accomodate as she ages.

    Just feelin’ snarkey, today. :)



  8. JamieO
    May 7, 2008 3:30 pm

    Dear Mayor,

    Even if it is a hat luncheon, try to steer clear of any hat that makes you look like Jim Backus. You are a 20-something mayor, not a retired Alcoa senior VP getting ready to play 18 holes at Sewickley Country Club. Just because a large portion of your city’s population remembers Gene Kelly before he left East Liberty doesn’t mean you should dress like them.

    Dear Lady #2: Listen to the PittGirl. You look like you should wake up every morning at sunrise and annoy your neighbors.

    Dear Lady #3 on the Left: The Smile-So-Hard-My-Neck-Muscles-Tighten is not a good look. You appear to be trying to open a bag of Sun Chips with your teeth (not that I would know).

    Dear Lady #4: You do indeed rock, and thank you for answering the question “WWGRD if he had to go to a hat luncheon”.

    Dear Lady #5: Hey! I know you! I’ve seen you roaming around the Pittsburgh Zoo: http://pittsburgh.about.com/od/pictures/ig/zoo/peacock.htm



  9. JP
    May 7, 2008 3:33 pm

    Hat Luncheon ? Are we back in Jr. high school ? When is the 80s dance?



  10. Pensgirl
    May 7, 2008 3:45 pm

    Erin’s hat totally clashes with that outfit (those colors are just not complementary), and yes, a fedora should be worn lower on the head. But for that to happen, you have to choose a fedora that actually fits your head, and Lukey? FAIL.



  11. Pensgirl
    May 7, 2008 3:46 pm

    Sorry, missed the endtag.



  12. Julie
    May 7, 2008 4:02 pm

    I once heard a rumor that the more hats a woman owns, the crazier she is.



  13. Magnus Patris
    May 7, 2008 4:15 pm

    #3 “Hmm… I wonder if Lukey has any clue that hat makes him look like Frank Sinatra’s illegitimate bastard.” Wow! What the hell is an illegitimate bastard? It must be even more redundantly worse than a legitimate bastard?



  14. Becky
    May 7, 2008 4:45 pm

    That is some makeup on #5…at least she tried to match the blues?



  15. scottie
    May 7, 2008 4:58 pm

    …To see what happens when the rich stop being proper, and start getting tacky…



  16. unsatisfied
    May 7, 2008 5:01 pm

    erin = hot. I don’t give a dadgum if she clashes or not, she’s hot — and pregnant!

    lukey = he’s sportin’ that fedora bing crosby-style, not sinatra. either way, he looks like an idiot — only bing and frankie could pull that off.



  17. Kater
    May 7, 2008 5:47 pm

    Luke Ravenstahl IS Frank Sinatra IN: The Vince Lombardi Story. Rated PG-13 for graphic scenes of shiny suits. …Ah, hat parties. #4 is definitely the grandest of all.



  18. Still A Fan
    May 7, 2008 7:00 pm

    the last lady, with the peacock? i want to make sweet love to her while she’s wearing nothing but that hat….well, in my dreams, cause……i’m married….but still…..nothing but the HAT.



  19. Still A Fan
    May 7, 2008 7:02 pm

    .and as for lukey and the fedora, i’ll channel my idol chris farley….

    ..ahem….

    big guy little haaat. big guy lit-tol HA-aaaaaat.

    “don’t do it”

    big guy leetal HA-aaaa-A-aaaat

    “don’t you dare”

    riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip



  20. retiredguy
    May 7, 2008 7:20 pm

    Ravenstahl should try a five gallon bucket. It would probably fit his encephaletic mellon better. He could use the handle as a chin strap.



  21. El-cee
    May 7, 2008 8:21 pm

    As long as the hat luncheon raises money for Pittsburgh’s parks, I’m all for it. How else do you get that many people to write big fat checks? Now if Little Boy Luke would stop making inane speeches that reference his “lovely wife” and do something about lead-contaminated playgrounds. The best part of the luncheon was watching the Ravenstahls awkwardly stand around while no one approached to talk to them. Think you’re popular, Mr. Mayor? I don’t think so.



  22. Stephanique1
    May 7, 2008 8:51 pm

    5.) It’s a shame that a peacock had to die so she could look that stupid.



  23. pittgirl
    May 7, 2008 9:22 pm

    Still A Fan, Pensgirl, Retiredguy, oh screw it, just about all of you:

    HAH!



  24. Magnus Patris
    May 7, 2008 10:44 pm

    Speaking of hats, a sure sign that spring is here is that Timyka Artist, intrepid news babe on WPXI, stops wearing hats that look like “Gus, the 2nd Most Famous Groundhog in Pennsylvania” during her live shots. Oh, how I miss winter.



  25. DeutschtownFrau
    May 8, 2008 6:15 am

    Still A. Fan — sorry if this is mentioning the obvious, but you seem like a guy who would like Joe Cocker’s version of “You Can Leave Your Hat On.” Total turn-on.

    And as for the Mayor’s popularity, I was driving Downtown the other day, turned that tunnel-corner thing under the old Kaufmann’s and who was standing on the corner holding carry-out bags but Luke himself. With a taller male aide (bodyguard?) And the dozens of people on sidewalks — both sides of the street – were gawking & pointing and at least two were taking cell-phone pics. I’m just sayin.



  26. Lauren
    May 8, 2008 9:22 am

    Luckily, Santonio Holmes wasn’t invited. I’d love to see what an “Ass Hat” looks like. Or, considering we’ve already been, um, exposed to the end opposite his ass, maybe I wouldn’t. Shudder.



  27. bucdaddy
    May 8, 2008 9:53 am

    Before THEY killed JFK, JFK killed the hat. Few men know how to wear one anymore, and far fewer still other than Sinatra have looked good in one.

    Go ahead, start a list of men today who wear hats right and look good in them. I’ll wait …

    (One notable exception: Tall, shaved-headed black men are perhaps the only men who can get away with wearing a beret and not look ridiculously pretentious.)



  28. NoSide15212
    May 8, 2008 9:56 am

    Girl #2.

    Memo to PittGirl:

    A warning is DEFINITELY in order the next time you post a picture of a chick (no pun intended) wearing Foghorn Leghorn on her head.

    Girl #5.

    That hat looks like the mess I left behind after hitting a 27-pound turkey on I-79 last week. I’d still totally do her if that was all she was wearing though.



  29. plexxer
    May 8, 2008 9:57 am

    If I were there, I’d totally casually remark to our esteemed leader “Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?”

    But I never get invited to Luncheons…



  30. In Sewickley
    May 8, 2008 10:03 am

    Erin’s hat it awful. Anything Luke is awful.

    But the Stanley Cup hat? Hellz yeah!



  31. bucdaddy
    May 8, 2008 10:19 am

    And cowboys. Cowboys can wear hats.

    (Real cowboys, not Dallas types or country singers.)

    And * raises hand * count me in for doin’ No. 5, though in the far recesses of my mind I’d be worried that thing was gonna bite my missile.



  32. John
    May 8, 2008 2:28 pm

    Magnus Patris – Yes, I was redundant. I knew I shoulda just said he looks like Sinatra’s long lost kid. :)



  33. Still A Fan
    May 8, 2008 9:33 pm

    “you can leave your hat on” was a total turn on in 9 1/2 weeks.

    when i was a young buck and needed to rent a video for a girl coming over to just watch movies…i was all like….”i grabbed this thing called 9 1/2 weeks, it looked good, i have no idea what it’s about” yet i had already seen it about 15 times.