Random n’at.

1. A conversation regarding the non-goal, which in hindsight, you have to agree with Pensblog … it was a goal, but there was no irrefutable visual evidence, so the no-goal call was in fact the right one to make.

Sister of PittGirl: That was totally a goal. Replay.

[replay]

Family of PittGirl: TOTALLY A GOAL!

[waiting]

PittGirl: What’s taking them so long? That’s a goal.

[waiting]

Brother in Law: How many times do we need to see this replay? It was a goal. Call Toronto. It’s a goal.

PittGirl: They’re on the phone.

Brother in Law: This is taking forever. What? Are they ordering Dominos while they’re at it?

Cousin of PittGirl: Sid’s going over to talk to them.

PittGirl: Probably he wants mushrooms on his half.

Brother in Law: Just point to center ice. Point. Point like you’ve never pointed before. If they don’t call this a goal …

PittGirl: Shenanigans.

Brother in Law: Worse than shenanigans. [Looks over at the group of five and six-year-old relatives playing toys on the floor] Bleepity-bleep-blippity-bleep-bloop. You know what I’m saying?

PittGirl: I hear ya.

[Signal of no goal]

Family of PittGirl: [Gasp!] [Outrage!]

[phone rings immediately , random sister from Texas or maybe Virginia. Sister of PittGirl answers the phone and probably hears bleepity-bleep-blippity-bleep-bloop.]

Sister of PittGirl: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I know. Totally a goal. Whatever. Sid’s going to play like a madman now.

PittGirl: [mouth full of carrot cake] We wuz robbed.

We wuz robbed, but now that I’ve had a dozen or so hours to see why the call had to stand, I’m not out for vengeance anymore.

2. Dr. Pausch was featured in the Times and also indicated that his cancer has metastasized to his lungs and abdomen. Not good.

(h/t Viv)

3. Between Dr. Pausch and John Challis (yeah, how did you watch the Pens game and not cry over that kid?), I’ve had about enough of cancer and sad cancer stories and this god-awful CRYING! I tell you what, Cancer, you had better stay the hell away from me, my family, my friends and my readers and you better start going after some rapists and pedophiles or something, you hear me? Leave the good people alone. Use your powers for good, not evil.

4. Reader Mike informed me that the Altoona Curve will host Jeff Skippy Skeeve Reed for a Thirsty Thursday on June 5 and wrote that this vile combination of Jeff Reed and alcohol is surely the Altoona Curve’s way of “flirting with disaster.” I say, there’s flirting with disaster and then there is walking up to disaster and showing it your boobs before inviting it back to your place for a one-night stand. This is absolutely the latter.

I can’t wait for the drunk pictures to come out of this one.

5. An email from Rob Owen from the PG:

Hi PittGirl,

Got an email from someone on the inside since posting this. Producers were shocked, too.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08131/880863-237.stm

As I wrote to Rob, first Men in Trees and now Back to You. In this vein of TV that everyone else thinks is crappy, but PittGirl loves, if Moonlight gets canceled … Grr!

Don’t take the pretty that is Alex O’Loughlin away from my TV!

6. A Steelers Fan Guide to the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Is awesome. Is funny. Is church.

If you don’t know what is going on that is perfectly fine but don’t compensate by yelling “SHOOT THE PUCK!”, “HIT HIM!” or “DO SOMETHING”.

Holla. Do what I do. Keep yelling out, “Chingasa tu madre!” That’s always appropriate no matter what’s going on on the ice.

7. Forget Steely Frickin’ McBeam. PittGirl Enemy #1, thy name is Susie Kourinian:

That glittery occupation gives Kourinian the wherewithal to make a lot of pigeons happy. Kourinian once told police she spends $65,000 a year on bird feed — enough to dump 500 pounds of birdseed every day.

Kourinian is reputedly so crafty that within moments, she can pop open her black sport-utility vehicle, scatter 75 pounds of pigeon feed and disappear into the night.

Forget whoever stirs the crack into the Dunkin Donuts coffee. PittGirl’s new hero, thy name is Laura Dodson:

Kourinian: ”You’re ruining my life.”

Dodson: ”I didn’t mean to. I’m just trying to clean up the city and the mess you’ve made with your birds.”

Kourinian: ”They’re not my birds. They’re God’s birds.”

Not God’s birds. Satan’s birds. Get it right.

(h/t Renatta and John)





19 Comments

  1. Karen
    May 12, 2008 11:52 am

    What does “Chingasa tu madre!” mean?



  2. chrys
    May 12, 2008 12:04 pm

    Chingasa tu madre!… love it!! And the kids will never guess what it means.. although.. if they learn to say it.. it could be bad. :)



  3. retiredguy
    May 12, 2008 12:05 pm

    $65,000 a year on bird seed? I’m all for people spending their own money on whatever they want but come on! She could be sending a couple kids to college.



  4. Monty
    May 12, 2008 12:22 pm

    Maybe if she sent a couple of birds to college, they wouldn’t suck so hard.



  5. Paperclip Queen
    May 12, 2008 12:32 pm

    Not only should they not take Alex O’Loughlin away, they can’t take Jason Dohring away… my Logan must stay on TV!



  6. pghcleak
    May 12, 2008 12:35 pm

    PittGirl,

    Just wanted to know if you knew about:

    Free Iced Coffee Day:
    At participating Dunkin’ Donuts shops. Thursday, May 15, 2008 from 10am-10pm.
    One free small 16 oz. Iced Coffee per person, per visit.



  7. Brian
    May 12, 2008 12:40 pm

    Carrot cake is the food of the gods. It is truly the finest and most unstoppable cake in this land, make that the world, and should be enjoyed in the finest settings known to humankind, such as a Pens game. Long live carrot cake!



  8. TheJim
    May 12, 2008 12:43 pm

    In a note only tangentially related to #6, Spoon hits the softball an f’ing mile!



  9. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    May 12, 2008 12:47 pm

    That lady is essentially one of those extreme cat ladies. I’m talking about the cat ladies who have too many cats to take care of, so the litter boxes are overflowing and the cats are malnourished. Same mentality. She’s keeping too many pets. Only in this case, since she only has to feed them and doesn’t have to clean up the mess left, it’s even harder to show her that she’s crazy.

    Frankly, it kinda scares me that PETA is actually on the same side of an argument that I’m on.

    On a related note: anyone else thinking there’s going to be a big order of that birdie birth control being shipped as we speak to PittGirl’s hidden lair? Or is birth control not cruel enough for pigeons?



  10. Jennifer
    May 12, 2008 1:12 pm

    “To get a sense of how bad the problem was, she once scattered some bread in a Hollywood parking lot.

    Within moments, the bread was gone and thousands of eyes were upon her. An eerie cooing suggested they wanted more.”

    Between this scene and Burgh Baby’s aquarium full of no longer invisible stuff (http://www.theburghbaby.com/2008/01/all-fun-stuff-is-in-kids-room.html ) I am going to have nightmares.



  11. toni
    May 12, 2008 1:22 pm

    “Chingasa tu madre!”

    Haven’t figured out the chingasa part yet but I know the rest means YOUR MOTHER!!!!

    Heck, I say send Steely McBeam ove to clean up the birdseed…or just send him period. He oughtta scare the hell outta the pigeons, satan spawn on not.



  12. Jen
    May 12, 2008 2:06 pm

    PG,
    Wanted to let you know that our group of Avalanche fans here in Denver are pulling for your Penquins this year to win it all!
    Go Pens!
    Jen



  13. spoon
    May 12, 2008 2:07 pm

    Someone over at letsgopens.com posted this image
    http://img247.imageshack.us/my.php?image=goaloh1.jpg

    I still agree with TPB that the correct call was made but I’m curious where that image came from and why the War Room in Toronto didn’t see it.

    TheJim, You had a nice jack also! I betcha Lokay could crush a few. Man i still hurt today though!



  14. JamieO
    May 12, 2008 3:11 pm

    Holy crap.

    I live about a half hour away from Blair County Ballpark.

    I need to shoot some photos of this:

    Date: Thursday June 05, 2008
    Time: 7:05 PM
    The Curve and New Britain Rockcats (Twins) wrap up their three-game series on Thursday night. Steelers placekicker Jeff Reed will throw out a ceremonial first pitch, take part in the Curve GameDay show, meet with fans and sign autographs. Gates open extra early at 5:30 p.m. so come early and enjoy great drink specials on Thirsty Thursday.

    Any bets on Jeff being too hammered by game time to throw the first pitch? And “meet with fans”. *shudder* Hide your teenage daughters. I definitely need to go.

    Maybe I can be BurghBlog’s Pennsyltucky correspondent. And yes, there is some culture up here, thank GOD for the University or we would basically be Dubois. Although I would still be in Pittsburgh if that were the case.

    Note that the Altoona Curve’s mascot looks exactly like a giant green anthropomorphic bong.



  15. unsatisfied
    May 12, 2008 3:51 pm

    spoon — was that a shot from a tv camera or still camera?

    they definitely didn’t show that on vs. last night and I’m betting that the lords that be in toronto only saw what we saw on the telecast — which was totally inconclusive.

    thank God we didn’t need it.



  16. spoon
    May 12, 2008 4:47 pm

    unsatisfied – I wondered the same thing. At first I thought it might be one of the 4 cameras on the end but I don’t think they would have the angle for it.

    I watched a story on the WarRoom that VS aired once. Honestly they have just about every view possible and can zoom in at insane precision.

    If the pens ended up losing I’m sure we’d all be singing a different tune anyways.



  17. Still A Fan
    May 12, 2008 5:26 pm

    carrot cake. mmmmmmmm. was recently at disney and ate at wolfgang puck’s cafe place while at downtown disney. for dessert, everything looked so good we asked the waitress for her opinion. carrot cake without hesitation. the icing was like eating a cloud. it also had candied pecans that had a little bit of a spicy bite to them. carrot cake. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.



  18. bucdaddy
    May 13, 2008 9:10 am

    16 oz. is a “small”? No wonder we’re so fat.



  19. bucdaddy
    May 13, 2008 9:13 am

    … Didn’t mean your luscious svelt self, PG. Meant the rest of us.

    Don’t think I’ve heard “chingasa tu madre” since 12th grade Spanish. Unlike 99% of whatever else I learned, I never forgot that one. Tee-hee.