1. A conversation regarding the non-goal, which in hindsight, you have to agree with Pensblog … it was a goal, but there was no irrefutable visual evidence, so the no-goal call was in fact the right one to make.
Sister of PittGirl: That was totally a goal. Replay.
Family of PittGirl: TOTALLY A GOAL!
PittGirl: What’s taking them so long? That’s a goal.
Brother in Law: How many times do we need to see this replay? It was a goal. Call Toronto. It’s a goal.
PittGirl: They’re on the phone.
Brother in Law: This is taking forever. What? Are they ordering Dominos while they’re at it?
Cousin of PittGirl: Sid’s going over to talk to them.
PittGirl: Probably he wants mushrooms on his half.
Brother in Law: Just point to center ice. Point. Point like you’ve never pointed before. If they don’t call this a goal …
Brother in Law: Worse than shenanigans. [Looks over at the group of five and six-year-old relatives playing toys on the floor] Bleepity-bleep-blippity-bleep-bloop. You know what I’m saying?
PittGirl: I hear ya.
[Signal of no goal]
Family of PittGirl: [Gasp!] [Outrage!]
[phone rings immediately , random sister from Texas or maybe Virginia. Sister of PittGirl answers the phone and probably hears bleepity-bleep-blippity-bleep-bloop.]
Sister of PittGirl: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I know. Totally a goal. Whatever. Sid’s going to play like a madman now.
PittGirl: [mouth full of carrot cake] We wuz robbed.
We wuz robbed, but now that I’ve had a dozen or so hours to see why the call had to stand, I’m not out for vengeance anymore.
3. Between Dr. Pausch and John Challis (yeah, how did you watch the Pens game and not cry over that kid?), I’ve had about enough of cancer and sad cancer stories and this god-awful CRYING! I tell you what, Cancer, you had better stay the hell away from me, my family, my friends and my readers and you better start going after some rapists and pedophiles or something, you hear me? Leave the good people alone. Use your powers for good, not evil.
4. Reader Mike informed me that the Altoona Curve will host Jeff Skippy Skeeve Reed for a Thirsty Thursday on June 5 and wrote that this vile combination of Jeff Reed and alcohol is surely the Altoona Curve’s way of “flirting with disaster.” I say, there’s flirting with disaster and then there is walking up to disaster and showing it your boobs before inviting it back to your place for a one-night stand. This is absolutely the latter.
I can’t wait for the drunk pictures to come out of this one.
5. An email from Rob Owen from the PG:
Got an email from someone on the inside since posting this. Producers were shocked, too.
As I wrote to Rob, first Men in Trees and now Back to You. In this vein of TV that everyone else thinks is crappy, but PittGirl loves, if Moonlight gets canceled … Grr!
Don’t take the pretty that is Alex O’Loughlin away from my TV!
6. A Steelers Fan Guide to the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Is awesome. Is funny. Is church.
If you don’t know what is going on that is perfectly fine but don’t compensate by yelling “SHOOT THE PUCK!”, “HIT HIM!” or “DO SOMETHING”.
Holla. Do what I do. Keep yelling out, “Chingasa tu madre!” That’s always appropriate no matter what’s going on on the ice.
7. Forget Steely Frickin’ McBeam. PittGirl Enemy #1, thy name is Susie Kourinian:
That glittery occupation gives Kourinian the wherewithal to make a lot of pigeons happy. Kourinian once told police she spends $65,000 a year on bird feed — enough to dump 500 pounds of birdseed every day.
Kourinian is reputedly so crafty that within moments, she can pop open her black sport-utility vehicle, scatter 75 pounds of pigeon feed and disappear into the night.
Forget whoever stirs the crack into the Dunkin Donuts coffee. PittGirl’s new hero, thy name is Laura Dodson:
Kourinian: ”You’re ruining my life.”
Dodson: ”I didn’t mean to. I’m just trying to clean up the city and the mess you’ve made with your birds.”
Kourinian: ”They’re not my birds. They’re God’s birds.”
Not God’s birds. Satan’s birds. Get it right.
(h/t Renatta and John)