1. Good morning, Burghers. Guess what? This morning, some kind soul totally let me change lanes in traffic when I had the audacity to put my turn signal on. I said to myself, “Self. You are going to change this city. People are going to be nicer. Men are going to be more chivalrous. People are going to stop throwing their cigarette butts on the street.”
It was an ill-advised, temporary moment of grandeur. I’m back to earth now.
2. Finally! Finally Lukey let a “move forward” slip.
“I was just down past the casino yesterday, and steel’s coming out of the ground, and they’re moving forward,” Ravenstahl said.
Gosh, I wish I had a Strawberry Mimosa Mojito or three from Seviche sitting in front of me right now. What time do they open?
3. Reader Katie of the Mexican War Streets wrote:
Just a quick question about “move forward”. Does it have to be said by the mayor or his staff or is ok to start drinking if members of a community group use it. The last few weeks have been pretty contentious in the Central Northside/Mexican War Streets area. There’s been lots of talk of “moving the neighborhood forward” and this or that needs to be done to “move the neighborhood forward”. Should I be drinking?
Katie, the rules are clear. Crystal clear, you lush. Tsk.
But I will forgive you your rule-breaking if you bring me a Strawberry Mimosa Mojito right this second. I’ll be waiting for you.
4. Because the world hates me, three of my favorite shows have now been canceled, Back to You, Men in Trees, and now Moonlight. Goodbye, Alex, my love. At least they renewed David Conrad’s show, right? Otherwise I’d have to march into CBS headquarters and choke a bitch.
5. For some reason, after reading this post over at One for the Other Thumb (see the Santonio Holmes line) I cannot stop saying “choke a bitch.” It just rolls off the tongue so eloquently.
6. Reader Schuyler Kidd wrote:
Just wanted to let you know, there are tix available in Detroit for the Stanley Cup games, assuming it’s Pens v RedWings. You can buy them today on ticketmaster if you use the code: 08SCUPSTH
The code is good until Thursday at noon, when anyone (code or not) can buy them. They say there are $90 and $140 seats, but I only found $210 when I wanted two together. That was just for game 1… game 2 might be better. Just thought maybe you’d be able to pass that info along!
And now I’ve passed it along.
(h/t Dom and like three other people whose emails have been sucked into the vortex that it my Hotmail box. Sorry!)
8. If anyone dared to dress, say the Art Rooney statue in some Dallas Cowboys gear, I would choke a bitch.
Okay, I’m done.
9. Today, you can get a free Dunkin Donuts iced coffee from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. I’ve already accumulated several disguises to assist me in getting at least 10 free iced cups of crack. Hopefully the caffeine-shakes don’t give me away.
10. After you get your coffee, if you’re in the mood for food that will eventually kill you, go to McDonald’s and buy a drink and they’ll give you a free Southwest Chicken Sandwich. This is their attempt to compete with Chik-Fil-A.
Pshh. A waffle fry could beat a McDonald’s fry with his hands tied behind his gridded back. Give up McDonalds.