1. I will never understand why Abbie Jane Swogger’s 15-year-old son was in the courtroom yesterday.
A 17-year-old boy testified yesterday that he carried on a months-long sexual relationship with a former teacher’s aide more than twice his age who regularly paid for beer and marijuana.
Clad in a maroon jumpsuit and wearing handcuffs attached by a chain that clinked when she adjusted it, Ms. Swogger sometimes turned to speak to a female friend and her teenage son, who sat through sometimes graphic testimony.
At one point after a 15-year-old boy testified about her giving him oral sex, she mouthed the words to her son, “Don’t believe everything he says.”
I suggest you also read the Trib’s article. Lots more detail there.
Maybe there’s something I’m missing here because I tend to look at things as black and white with no shades of gray. But reading that her son was in the courtroom, that’s when the little pain I get right here in my forehead when parents don’t do right by their children began to pulse and throb and pound relentlessly until I wanted to hunt Abbie Jane down myself and give her a good, sound bitch-slap (do you know how much I wanted to type “and choke a bitch” there but I didn’t? Self-restraint, thy name is PittGirl.)
2. I will never understand needing a cigarette so badly that you’d actually light one up while hooked up to your oxygen tank. Flame + Oxygen tank with a “Warning: KEEP AWAY FROM FLAME” sticker on it = Fiery death. This is basic math. THAT I understand.
3. I will never understand how one can claim that the Penguins’ performance yesterday was from a lack of maturity rather than perhaps exhaustion or just an off-day.
It seems the Pittsburgh Penguins are still in need of a little more maturity.
While they have grown remarkably despite their youthful makeup, the Penguins could use more experience when it comes to the killer instinct. For the second NHL playoff series in a row, they failed to close the deal in an elimination game.
That guy can bite me.
This undying obsession that Pens’ fans — by which I mean, casual fans and immature fans and bandwagon-jumping fans — have with Gary Roberts borders on the absurd and fast approaches the insane.
Oh. You know I love Chad Hermann. But you also know that I love Gary Roberts and his new cult following. Because it is harmless and it is super fun. Therefore. Minions? Attack.
Don’t worry. He can take it.
Tell him PittGirl sent you and that she too will soon unleash her fists of fury and her awkward karate-chops of wrath on him for calling her a casual, immature, bandwagon-jumping fan.
I mean, Saucy is all, “Oh, no he DI’INT!” She’s taking her earrings out as I type this.