Random n’at.

1. Good cold I’m actually wearing a sweater, wool pants and do-me boots this morning because someone decided to play a real nice cosmic meteorological practical joke on Al Gore by having a high of 55 degrees at the end of May while he’s in the city talking about the horrors wrought by some phenomenon called global warming, to you, dear Burghers far and wide. I could use some global warming. My many pairs of open-toed heels are sitting in my closet all, “WTF?! Didn’t she wear those bitches all winter long?”

2. This morning on the bus, I said about three different things to my friend that I was planning to write today. Damn it! I hate it when I do that. What if he reads the blog? Now you all are missing out on some very witty PittGirl observations. I’ll know better next time — feign sleep to avoid conversation.

3. The girl half of my two terrier dogs puked on my steps and pooped in the dining room. I swear I’m not making that up. I will choke that bitch.

[beats the dead horse one more time for good measure]

Also? Via Jim:

HAH!

4. If you’d like to ogle Troysus, here’s a video of him working out at that alternative training facility out in California. Basically looks like lots of resistance training and beach balls to me. Also, this is an older video because while he is looking quite thugalicious in the video with a trimmed beard, here’s Troysus more recently:

Don’t get me started.

5. The Buccos of Suckitude failed AGAIN to hit .500 ball when they lost yesterday. The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat has obviously subscribed to my theory of shouting from the rooftops how sucky the Buccos are in the hopes that they will hear us and do something about it. Check it:

Fresh on the rout of the Flyers by the Penguins, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl wasted no time on making good on his bet with Philadephia Mayor Nutter by sending the entire Pittsburgh Pirate roster to the City of Brotherly Love.

Mayor Nutter has different plans for his new found team. “I figure for awhile, we can use them to direct traffic or something. Eventually I hope to trade them to Des Moines for a half a packet of Lucky Strikes and a porno mag.”

Ba-ba-BAH!

6. Dudes, you must check out Torsten Ove’s (best name ever) mining of the stacks and stacks of legal documents filed in the Cyril Wecht trial. My personal favorite is this little gem:

You’re being contacted by America’s National Police Force. … This is frightening. I’ll just tell you, my wife grew up in Norway as a child during the occupation of the Nazis. This has been an anamnestic reaction for her. She can hear the pounding of their boots on the gravel outside their home. She can see the Nazi storm troopers coming into their house and taking over …”

Dr. Cyril Wecht on “KD/PG Sunday Edition,” April 13, after the FBI contacted jurors following the mistrial

Ok. So Dr. Wecht is saying that phone calls the FBI made to jurors — JURORS mind you, not his wife — has resulted in his wife so vividly recalling her days living in Norway during the occupation that she can actually hear footsteps and see “storm troopers” coming into her house. Again, because of telephone calls the JURORS received?

Looks like somebody borrowed Yarone Zober’s copy of Hyperbole for Dummies. Gawd.

7. Know what will warm me up this morning? A nice hot cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee with a shot of Bailey’s and lucky for me, Lukey has obliged:

I stand here committed to doing whatever we can to move this project forward,” Mayor Luke Ravenstahl said.

Actually, let’s just go with a cup of Bailey’s with a shot of coffee. Much toastier. Muchas gracias, Lukey. Arriba!

8. Not only is there someone in Craigslist Rants and Raves pretending to be me, but I’ve heard there was a chick in Diesel not denying she was me when asked. Oh, please. I have practiced and practiced what I will say if I’m ever asked that question and the answer is NEVER noncommittal. The answer is always, “Who the hell is PittGirl? Is she some sort of NASCAR chick?”





11 Comments

  1. Monty
    May 19, 2008 9:25 am

    I don’t know what that kid is doing to the blue ball in the Troy pic, but it could very well be NSFW.



  2. Katie
    May 19, 2008 11:30 am

    That might just be the oddest workout video I have ever seen in my life.



  3. NY Luvs Pitts
    May 19, 2008 11:47 am

    4. Oh please get started, PLEASE.



  4. Dan (Not Onarato)
    May 19, 2008 12:06 pm

    wait just a minute…Pittgirl was wearing do-me boots?



  5. captain dummy
    May 19, 2008 12:24 pm

    “This morning on the bus, I said about three different things to my friend that I was planning to write today”

    watch what you say! someone also may find out just who pittgirl really is!!!

    *ahem, ken rice*

    i just started reading the site about a month ago (and everyday since)… so far you dont really seem like the “Diesel” type…



  6. Gunn Lino
    May 19, 2008 2:14 pm

    “NASCAR chick?”, Sounds like knee-high white, high heeled boots and Bridgeville hair and cut off Levi shorts. But THE best answer ever is a question to a question.



  7. NoSide15212
    May 19, 2008 4:01 pm

    “His training is very specific to athletic movements…sport specific to what a football player might require…”

    Sure, Troy. ‘Cause I remember all of those plays last year when you were closing on the run and right at the point of impact, you dropped on your head, rolled your back over a yellow ball, and kicked the ball carrier. WTF? He’s starting to look and sound a little like Mike Myers in the “Love Guru” with that beard.



  8. Pensgirl
    May 19, 2008 4:52 pm

    6. My dear Pittgirl, Cyril doesn’t need Zober’s book. He wrote it!



  9. Still A. Fan
    May 19, 2008 11:21 pm

    again with the boots……you have my email address…can i just see the boots? can you also put on that crazy ass hat that lady had on a while back????



  10. Still A. Fan
    May 19, 2008 11:21 pm

    you need a tag that says “do me boots”.

    did i tell you my nickname is “boots” ;)



  11. justretiredguy
    May 20, 2008 6:50 am

    Cyril Wecht, MD JD, is an egomaniacal jerk with a good vocabulary who likes the sound of his own voice and always assumes that he is the smartest person in whatever room he happens to occupy. He is smug, arrogant and never met a mirror he didn’t like. His martyr act and bleatings of “victimization” are laughable since he has been victimizing the taxpayers of Allegheny County for a quarter of a century.