Why PittGirl should be Mayor

A proposal by the Penguins to put large banners depicting team stars and featuring the Reebok logo has apparently become a casualty of Pittsburgh government’s ongoing sign debate — and a subject of renewed political sparring.

The team contacted Mayor Luke Ravenstahl’s office with a proposal to put temporary signs on Fifth Avenue Place, Downtown, celebrating the team’s ascent to the Stanley Cup Finals, the mayor said today. He viewed it as a good idea.

“I would certainly be willing to hang them somewhere,” he said — but only with City Council blessing. “I didn’t feel comfortable unilaterally making that decision.”

Here’s why I should be Mayor. Because I would have held a press conference today that would have gone something like this:

I’m going to the Penguins game to support the team and only to support the team and because I think it will be a lot of fun. I’m not going to insult you by trying to convince you that it is official business. I’m paying my own way from my own credit card and if you’d like a copy of the receipt, I’ll provide it to the Post-Gazette.

Also, I have given the Penguins permission to put big frickin’ giant temporary banners downtown to celebrate this awesome accomplishment of theirs, this accomplishment that will once again turn the eyes of the nation to our beautiful city, and anyone, anyone on city council, anyone on county council, anyone at Lamar, Dan Frickin’ Onorato, ANYONE that has a problem with it is going to have to get past me and my husbands to get those banners taken down. If you’ve got a problem with it sue me and don’t re-elect me.

That will be all.

Who WOULDN’T VOTE FOR ME?!?

(h/t DW)





33 Comments

  1. John
    May 21, 2008 3:29 pm

    That’s church, PG.



  2. KGC
    May 21, 2008 3:40 pm

    Hell, I’d MOVE to the City to vote for you!



  3. Dan Freakin (Not Onarato)
    May 21, 2008 3:45 pm

    now THATS church

    Preach. it.



  4. Magnus Patris
    May 21, 2008 3:46 pm

    That’s it. I’m not registering as a Democrat or a Republican. I’m going to register today as a Choke-A-Bitch-ocrat. Our symbol not a donkey or an elephant, but a dead pigeon on a star-spangled background.



  5. merman
    May 21, 2008 4:04 pm

    Mayor Luke Ravenstahl said he was in favor of the Penguins banners, but he wanted City Council unanimous support before allowing them because of a moratorium City Council has placed on such advertisements.

    Why do we need unanimous support? Don’t you just need 5? And why did this just come up this week? Why is everything last second with these people?



  6. Judge Rufus Peckham
    May 21, 2008 4:08 pm

    Yeah. On the basis of the banners you should be mayor. Because we really need a strong mayor who’s not afraid to take unpopular positions.



  7. Susan Helene Gottfried
    May 21, 2008 4:27 pm

    I, too, would move into the city to vote for you. But I gotta say, watching Luke’s blunders are amusing and I’d miss that.

    Besides, if you were Mayor, whose blog would we read?



  8. Brother Anthony
    May 21, 2008 4:36 pm

    If UPMC wins some sort of giant-gorilla-imperialism award can they celebrate with temporary banners?



  9. jason
    May 21, 2008 5:48 pm

    can i run for mayor from nyc?



  10. Bram R
    May 21, 2008 7:07 pm

    Paragraph One – Amen. Good looking out.

    Paragraph Two – Unfortunately, you can’t really give permission to put up temporary signs for who you want, when you want, and where you want. That’s called “spot zoning” and that’s illegal in the state of PA.

    If you did that, yes all the Penguins fans would vote for you, but then a slew of building owners Downtown would demand to turn their buildings in giant Jamba Juice advertisements and cash in. And when you tried to stop them, they’d sue the city they’d win. There is a reason the manufactures of these banners are so quick and generous to offer these signs to needy, sportscrazy cities.

    In summary: When you become mayor, you need to hire me as your Chief of Watching Your Ass. A role to be interpreted broadly.



  11. pittgirl
    May 21, 2008 7:15 pm

    Bram,

    You’re on. Except you will have NOTHING to do with handling the graffiti “artists” in our city. I need someone who will take some names and shit. Not be all, hmm, that big giant NSF tag on the Mayor’s car really comforts me. ;)



  12. merman
    May 21, 2008 7:24 pm

    I’d like to apply for the position of Chief of Watching Your Ass, but in a different way.



  13. Bram R
    May 21, 2008 7:50 pm

    Who told you about that thing I just did? ;)



  14. Still A Fan
    May 21, 2008 7:50 pm

    PG, how do you not have a post up already about Cook and Adams sharing the stage????????????



  15. jimbo
    May 21, 2008 9:33 pm

    I’d vote for u fo sho :)



  16. RavishingRick
    May 21, 2008 9:48 pm

    Why PittGirl should be Mayor:

    I will pay for truck loads of pigeons to be brought in for that special day “when you become mayor”



  17. Dan Freakin (Not Onarato)
    May 22, 2008 7:15 am

    wait…will you be wearing do-me boots?

    If so…Im in



  18. justretiredguy
    May 22, 2008 7:42 am

    PittGirl,

    Should this come to pass, I would be happy to apply for the driver/bodyguard position.



  19. NY Luvs Pitts
    May 22, 2008 7:55 am

    I’d move to vote for you.



  20. Disappointed
    May 22, 2008 8:07 am

    Here’s the thing… you would have to be a resident of the City of Pittsburgh in order to be its mayor. I can truly appreciate your opinions most of the time, PittGirl. At times, I often chuckle at your observations and commentary. In truth, I even agree with you regarding the Pens. However, until you actually live within the city, your comments regarding mayorship can only hold a limited amount of validity with me.



  21. Lawrence
    May 22, 2008 8:08 am

    Bram is right … but I’m on PittGirl’s side with this one.

    Tell everyone the sign has subliminal messages on it that cause the pigeons go away – making it “official business” to clean up the city.

    You gotta creatively support the team.



  22. Mike
    May 22, 2008 8:14 am

    If you live in the city and you really want the banners up, send an email to your council member or just send it to Doug Shields—I swear if my neighbors put up a sheet becuase of him, he will be buried in it! The spot zoning is a nice excuse, but they have those laws in other cities. That’s why permits and exemptions were created.



  23. Burgh Baby
    May 22, 2008 8:35 am

    Lukey was on 105.9 this morning talking about this and, dare I say, made sense explaining why the signs weren’t going up. (I KNOW! Lukey making sense? Never happens. That will probably be the last time.) More importantly, though, he said “move forward” at least once. Damn open container laws prevented me from hitting the sauce right then and there, but I plan to make up for it later.



  24. Julie
    May 22, 2008 8:48 am

    To everyone who commented so far: well done! I am trying really hard not to laugh out loud at my desk, and none of you are making it any easier!!



  25. PittinDC
    May 22, 2008 9:02 am

    If putting up signs supporting the Pens is against the law, we should have a Pens-Steelers exception. If we included the Pirates, people would start putting up “You suck!” signs all over the city, and that might not be good.



  26. DW
    May 22, 2008 9:11 am

    So, cut the banners up into the size of sheets, and then hang them out windows to form the larger sign? I still think it’s dumb we can’t get some temporary signs up to show suport for the team and players w/ the national audience watching. I’m telling ya the Steelers would get them up, one way or another.



  27. DW
    May 22, 2008 9:14 am

    Can I be the Secretary of Defense in your administration for the War Against Snow?



  28. Tony
    May 22, 2008 9:45 am

    I’d vote for PittGirl to be mayor if she would agree to write the “minutes” to the council meetings. And imagine the attendance, too. “Mayor PittGirl”… it has a ring.



  29. spoon
    May 22, 2008 10:41 am

    Have you guys seen the pic of Doug Shields bedsheet?

    apparently he takes great pride in it. here’s a pic.

    http://www.shouldidrinkthat.com/images/dougshields_bedsheet.jpg



  30. Mark Rauterkus
    May 22, 2008 4:03 pm

    Hang those banners on the broken Birmingham Bridge.

    Other locations at my blog:

    http://rauterkus.blogspot.com/2008/05/downtown-banners-for-penguins-put-on.html



  31. Melissa
    May 22, 2008 5:30 pm

    This is all very stupid. Its a temporary banner supporting a team that is in the finals. I say tell the Pens to take the Rebook stuff out and put it up. I also agree w/ the comments made about the Steelers and UPMC…no question that banners would be up if it benefited them.



  32. Gypsa
    May 22, 2008 7:11 pm

    Well said, Pittgirl. Your site was linked from thepensblog which brought me over here. Not only would you have my vote, but you now have a dedicated reader. Keep up the good work!!!