Random n’at.

1. Pens. Pens. Pens. Tonight is the night they figure their shit out. Tonight before the game, someone, maybe Gary Roberts, is going to shake the hockey back into Evgeni Malkin. Slap the fire back into Sidney Crosby. Kick the will back into Marian Hossa.

Some outside coverage:

2. Also, did you guys notice that Max Talbot is looking more and more like Jesus every day?

3. While Ryan Malone looks more and more like he fell out of the movie “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” which, GREAT CHILDHOOD MOVIE MEMORY!

Bless yore beautiful hide!

4. If only for today, I was allowed to have two big goons hold a person still so that I could properly aim my pointy shoe as I violently kicked it forward toward that person’s donkey omelets, today, it would be whoever stole this rig.

5. Mark Madden got his butt fired. Again. I’m very meh about that because I don’t ever listen to Mark Madden. Maybe you care.

(h/t Mysterious M)

6. KDKA’s Jon Burnett at his high school prom.

I can’t believe I’m going to write this, but he looks kinda fly. He could teach Lukey a thing or two about wearing a hat.

(h/t Kevin)

7. Speaking of fashion, reader MmeG wrote:

Have you seen this? Julianne Moore was totally giving the Burgh a shout out from the red carpet at Cannes! How else can you explain those hideous black and gold feathers??? She looks like a nouveau-riche linebacker’s wife. But, she likes us! She really likes us!

Wow. Now that is fug.

8. Maybe you’re not aware of him, so I’ll mention Jero. He’s a Pittsburgh-bred Enka singer which is kinda like saying “she’s a Hawaii-bred downhill skier.”

He was featured on The Next Page recently and also in the Washington Post.

Here he is doing his schmaltzy thing:

(h/t Traci)


  1. joey
    May 28, 2008 11:09 am

    I’m gonna miss Madden. Was he brash? Sure…but you knew what you were getting with him, and if you didn’t like it, you could change the channel.

    And he had the highest book in the city…and not by just a little, but by far. 1250 is going to take quite a hit.

    As for the Pens: Therrien is whining like a baby. He needs to man-up. Here is what he said two weeks ago about Philly:

    “I read some comments about John Stevens, about how he’s disappointed about some calls,” Pittsburgh coach Michel Therrien said Monday. “At the same time, we’re disappointed about some calls, as well.

    “That’s playoffs. There are times you’re going to get a call, there’s times you’re not going to get a call. It’s not about complaining. It’s about playing the game. You hope to get the calls. It doesn’t happen all the time.”

    Time to shut up and figure out how to beat the Red Wings.

  2. Brian
    May 28, 2008 11:53 am

    Sydor in for Letang tonight. Let’s all get ready to be down 3-0. Sad.

    As for Madden, he had it coming. It’s nice to know ridiculous ratings aren’t the only judge. Anyone who heard the show on a regular basis — and I admit I did listen a lot during hockey season since he knows his stuff (though his pre-analysis of Wings/Pens was fan-based and devoid of actual knowledge) — knows the fountain of misinformation that spewed forth from his show and the hateful way he often treated callers and figures that did not deserve it. Yes, some will cite the “entertainment” value, but too many people in this town are not smart enough to tell the difference and assume he’s speaking informed truth. He poisoned a lot of people, and those same people were the ones that got off on his testosterone-based rantings and diatribes of half- and even quarter-truths. Add this some of the sexual-based things he said before his warning, hosts with lower ratings would have been canned long ago.

    Add to that, you can’t exactly go around and, joking or not (and I’m sure he was joking), insinuate you’d like to see a politician get offed. It may seem tame and it may seem harmless, but kids, it’s not. Comments like these are taken seriously, whether you like the Kennedy clan or not. It was known he was on warning from Bristol, and I think he just thought he was untouchable. And had ESPN corporate not said something, nothing would have happened anyway, making him feel even more untouchable. But rest assured, he’ll be back on the airwaves somewhere, but let’s hope it’s not for a little while. I think (and hope) he learns from this because he is an intelligent guy, does know about sports, but needed brought back to earth. Maybe it’ll be for his own good.

  3. Sue
    May 28, 2008 12:12 pm

    I loved 7 Brides for 7 Brothers! You’re right, there is a resemblence there.

  4. Pensgirl
    May 28, 2008 12:19 pm

    Joey, he may have been doing that just as a tactic to deflect criticism from his players. They deserve criticism, certainly, but sometimes it can be counterproductive. He may have just been trying to motivate them, along the lines of “us against the world.”

    There are a lot of people, myself included, who believe this team has what it takes to turn this thing around. Even if they don’t end up winning the series there’s no reason for them not to show up and fight for it. Tonight we’ll see what they’re made of, and I think we’ll see something much more like our real Pens.

    That Jon Burnett prom picture is fantastic. And I never noticed it before, but he kinda has a John Schneider thing goin’ on there.

  5. Bob
    May 28, 2008 12:33 pm

    Hey Ken Rice Why Don’t You Post Your Prom Pic

  6. john
    May 28, 2008 12:38 pm

    Is John Burnetts’ date wearing a PANTSUIT?!?!?!?

  7. Marcy
    May 28, 2008 1:40 pm

    Wow, John Burnett WAS fly. Damn.

  8. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    May 28, 2008 3:48 pm

    The Pens will win tonight. It was my fault they’ve played badly. I had to go out of town for a family wedding and was unable to watch either of the first two games. I apologize to the Penguins and the fans. It was irresponsible of my cousin to schedule his wedding this weekend.

    Anyway, we’ll do it tonight. Let’s Go Pens!

    BTW — love the Penguin skating through the banner.

  9. scottie
    May 28, 2008 4:28 pm

    LOL !! Goin’ Courtin’!!!

    I loved the youngest boy sooo much on that movie that I used his name as my screen-name for a long time…LOL Wait, did I just admit that?

  10. Eileen
    May 28, 2008 4:43 pm

    Did John Burnett forget to ask his date what color her gown (or whatever she is wearing) was going to be????

  11. bucdaddy
    May 28, 2008 4:53 pm

    1. Y’all act like there isn’t another team on the ice, like the Penguins simply forgot to put skates on for two games or something, and all they have to do is lace up and things will be different. I’d like to see them win the series, sure, but let’s be realistic. As I’ve been saying all along: Age and treachery etc. etc.

    5. Maybe Madden was taking his cue from Hillary’s Bobby Kennedy reference.

    7. Julianne looked much better naked from the waist down in “Short Cuts.”

  12. MountaineerHoo
    May 28, 2008 5:37 pm

    Jon Burnett is the perfect example of a guy who was cool in high school (just going by the picture, because I have no way of knowing for sure), grew up, and turned into a big dork. Hilarious.

  13. Still A Fan
    May 28, 2008 6:20 pm


    he looks like RYAN from high school musical. YEAH, i watched it, whatsittoooya?

  14. Mrs. Pitsberger
    May 28, 2008 6:38 pm

    I can’t believe I’m about to write this, and I’ll probably burn in hell for it, but Jesus can’t dance like Max Talbot. No one can dance like Max Talbot.

    Wicky, wicka, wah, wicky, wicky.

    LET’S GO PENS!!!

  15. Steeler_tom
    May 28, 2008 7:21 pm

    Madden is an a$$. My little finger (take your pick) knows more about sports than he ever will. He is arrogant & stupid. Glad to see him go. I hope he gets hit by a bus or something.

    Now on to more important things…….


  16. AskaLesbian
    May 28, 2008 9:37 pm

    Burnett looks high.

  17. Maria
    May 28, 2008 10:41 pm

    I loved every close up of Ryan Malone’s face tonight. THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what a hockey player is supposed to look like. What a sexy, bruised beast.

  18. dwight
    May 29, 2008 6:37 am

    Wow. Burnett WAS a hottie. And Malone IS one! Go Pens!

  19. Geeo
    May 29, 2008 7:14 am

    And I always thought that Mark Madden would be found comatose on a couch, one hand in a potato chip bag, the other somewhere else as he watched girl-on-girl porn with tobacco chew running down his beard.

  20. bucdaddy
    May 29, 2008 8:33 am

    Dammit, Geeo, have you been looking in my window again? Where’s that restraining order …

  21. deebee
    May 29, 2008 9:29 am

    Just saw Julianne in a movie last week “Trust the Man”,and one of the other actors had a shirt from Climax a strip club on Rt22.

  22. Mme.G
    May 29, 2008 10:57 am

    Looks like Ryan Malone needs himself a femi-nine pole cat.