Random n’at.

1. This morning I stopped by Get-Go to use my last ever fuel perks from Giant Eagle, because as I said, I am never going in an Iggle again for as long as I live. I had ten cents off per gallon and filled up my SUV to the tune of fifty-two dollars. That’s the most it has ever cost me.

Wanna hear something funny? When I went to college in Texas, and again, this wasn’t THAT long ago, one of my sisters (Tina Fey) and I were driving from here to Texas, or maybe it was from Texas to Florida or Texas to Arizona. I don’t remember. Anyway, we were driving our little car and were running out of gas and in the middle of nowhere (there is A LOT of Nowhere in the south) there was a gas station on a hill and that dude was trying to sell gas for $1.35 a gallon! We were like [gasp!]. Crazy dude. Who is going to pay that much for gas?

Now, I’d give my left yellow wedge peekaboo sandal for $1.35/gallon gas.

The times are crazy.

2. This little trip down MY GOD, PITTGIRL IS OLD lane is brought to you by my birthday today. I can’t decide if I’m all this:

Or this:

Or this:

So I decided to be this:

Much better that way.

3. The story is no longer Lukey and his security and his brothers going to Detroit. The story is that Lukey blew off a Memorial Day event in which he was on the agenda. A second hockey game … honoring dead men and women who died for their country … a second hockey game … honoring dead men and women who died for their country. I can see how the scale tipped to hockey on that one.

Not good, Lukey.

Also, Rachel wrote:

I’m watching Oprah, when a preview for Channel 4 Action News pops on, interviewing Lukey, on which he said, “I didn’t want to take one. He *made* me.”

Please. Someone get him a pacifier.

You must watch the video for two things:

  • Look how PISSED he looks. And off guard.
  • Is his chin quivering?!

Being Mayor is so gosh darn hard.

4. A free mattress guaranteed to bring you all of your dreams, including your dream of a threesome.

Yay, you.

(h/t Robert)

5. Today, and FOR TODAY ONLY, I love The Duke.

Seconds after 14-year-old Akeem Havens said he hoped to meet Ben Roethlisberger, the Pro Bowl quarterback walked into the media room at the Steelers’ South Side facility on Thursday.

With a black playbook in his hand and a perturbed look on his face, Roethlisberger said to his newest teammate, “Hey, what’s going on here? We don’t have time for this. We have practice. Are you ready to practice?”

“Let’s go,” Havens said with a smile.

It was one of the highlights in a day filled with them for Havens, who since a car wreck at age 7 has been a quadriplegic and has experienced kidney failure.

“The smile on (Havens’) face is so amazing,” Roethlisberger said. “To think his one wish is to come hang out with us is touching, because so many days we don’t want to be here, and he wants to be here. It puts things in perspective. It’s just awesome to be able to help him out.”

6. Could someone take this article and wallpaper the Penguins locker room with it? Or get little easels printed up with it and place them in their lockers?

KTHXBAI.

7. Take ten deep breaths before you read this letter all about how the Penguins got to the Stanley Cup finals, not through hard work and good play, but by standing on the shoulders of hype and marketing.

This Pittsburgh team is not the natural selection but rather a team built on marketing, sponsorship, hype and the hope of increasing the value of a franchise that was about to go bankrupt only two years ago.

Every team in the East has been manipulated and undermined to allow the Pens to get to the Cup final, where not only the Pittsburgh franchise would increase in value, but every other franchise as well, because of the allure of Sidney Crosby and the marketing skills of commissioner Gary Bettman.

That’s right. Hype and marketing put pucks past goalies. It’s a fact.





48 Comments

  1. Katie
    May 30, 2008 10:40 am

    Well Happy Birthday, PittGirl! Be the last Calvin picture, it’s so much more fun that the other ones :)



  2. Christina
    May 30, 2008 10:45 am

    Happy birthday! I hope it’s full of dead pigeons. (Which, surprisingly, is not a sentiment you find on a lot of birthday cards these days.)



  3. Sarah
    May 30, 2008 10:50 am

    I’ve figured out PittGirl’s secret identity! She is my brother! (well, they’ve got the same birthday anyway)
    Hope it’s a good one.



  4. strugglingwriter
    May 30, 2008 10:50 am

    Happy Birthday! My birthday is today as well. My only birthday wish is for a Pens win tomorrow night (oh, and World Peace I suppose too :) )

    As far as that Winnepeg Sun article, I think it’s nice “George Rooney’s” mom wrote that up for him as he clearly doesn’t have the brain power to move his fingers let alone type a letter like that. Just wait until the Pens play Winnipeg. What they don’t have a team anymore? So sad.



  5. ashley
    May 30, 2008 10:53 am

    First the most important thing to say is HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYY!!!! i hope you have a lovely birthday weekend filled with funnnn and another pens winnnn

    and secondly the person who wrote that article is a freaking idiot who needs to stop being bitter cause whatever team he cheers for lost whenever they did!!!!



  6. maxtalbot
    May 30, 2008 11:00 am

    I would like to contact Mr. Rooney and ask him, “have you been drinking, sir?”

    Happy Birthday PittGirl.

    Go Pens.



  7. plexxer
    May 30, 2008 11:25 am

    Happy Birthday Pittgirl!



  8. Mark
    May 30, 2008 11:33 am

    1. Don’t abandon fuel perks altogether! There still are gift cards. for example:

    My fridge died this week. So I had case to get a new one. So I planned it out this way (other than the fridge dying):

    Used my upromise credit card (got 1% back for my kids college savings) to purchase $850 with of gift cards from Giant eagle, got $1.70 in fuel perks. Then went to the upromise website, shopped though the Best Buy link there and saved another 2% for my kids college savings.

    2. Happy birthday and Go Pens



  9. Bram R
    May 30, 2008 11:35 am

    Congratulations as suddenly having the same birthday as Angelina Jolie’s newborn twin girls!

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=UeypOvsY91Q



  10. Maria
    May 30, 2008 11:35 am

    Happy Birthday PittGirl!

    3- Lukey reminds me of my hormonal teenage brother. Someone needs to tell him to put on his big boy pants and start acting like a mayor.

    5- Yayy, the Duke has a heart! I’m happy something other than hawt lesbian action caught his attention.

    7- I have no words. What a sad, sad man. All I can say is…LET’S GO PENS!



  11. Allison
    May 30, 2008 11:40 am

    Happy Birthday!!!

    7–I’m not even reading it. It’s your birthday and cause for celebration. Not murder. Unless it’s pigeons.



  12. dwight
    May 30, 2008 11:45 am

    To both of you, from both of me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FELLOW GEMINI!



  13. Brian
    May 30, 2008 11:52 am

    Fuck Giant Eagle, fuck the mayor, fuck the Red Wings, don’t fuck on that mattress unless you have it disinfected.

    Happy birthday.



  14. spoon
    May 30, 2008 12:02 pm

    Happy Birthday! I’d buy you a drink but ya know… ya know…



  15. Ant Annie
    May 30, 2008 12:04 pm

    Happy Birthday, PittGirl!

    GO PENS!!



  16. Sooska
    May 30, 2008 12:18 pm

    Happy Birthday, PG!

    #5 The Duke -aaahhhh. good for him.

    #6.The Pensblog and cblog call her Helene St. Joke.

    #7. First of all, considering Winnipeg’s location, there is no “Sun” in Winnipeg. Second, they lost their franchise cause no one went to the games. Third, and this isn’t an original thought, can Bettman be both a mastermind of stealth mind control and a complete failure/utter buffoon all rolled into one?



  17. PittinDC
    May 30, 2008 12:23 pm

    Happy Birthday PittGirl!

    Also, what’s up with that Helene St. James woman? I suppose its an opinion column, but that reads more like a facebook message than an article in a city newspaper. Not classy at all.



  18. danimal
    May 30, 2008 12:27 pm

    those tards are still mad that the last time we had the cup it ended up broken on the bottom of Mario’s pool..lol
    Happy Birthday!



  19. Z
    May 30, 2008 12:34 pm

    Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  20. Bulldog
    May 30, 2008 12:39 pm

    Yep, now I’m pissed. It was bad enough that Lukey tried to sell us that crap about it being his duty to go to Detroit to watch a Stanley Cup final game. To find out that he knowingly did so despite being committed to attending several Memorial Day functions (an ACTUAL duty of a mayor) is a disgrace. It is continued judgement mistakes like this that will continue to haunt him seemingly forever since he shows no signs of stopping, or even learning in the least little bit.

    He quite easily could have gone to Detroit, watched Game 1, and had the City Detective drive him back to Pittsburgh on Sunday in the City vehicle and still kept his comittments to honor those for whom the holiday is named. But no, he blew them off because what the hell, the whole city knew he was going because it was in the paper and on TV for days before he went.

    The man has NO HONOR whatsoever.



  21. Bulldog
    May 30, 2008 12:41 pm

    Ooooops, I forgot the most important part – “Happy Birthday Pittgirl!” I hope you have a most awesome day.



  22. bucdaddy
    May 30, 2008 12:44 pm

    Happy b-day, PG. I’m one week older than you … and some years.



  23. NY Luvs Pitts
    May 30, 2008 12:51 pm

    Happy Birthday PG. Didn’t I tell ya some day you’ll love the Duke. (lol)



  24. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    May 30, 2008 12:53 pm

    Happy Birthday PittGirl!!!!!

    @danimal — I think it was Barasso’s pool. I got a pic somewhere in a shoebox that is being stored in my parents’ basement.

    A win tomorrow in honor of PittGirl’s birthday would be nice.



  25. Sue
    May 30, 2008 1:03 pm

    Happy Birthday to my favorite local blogger! Keep up the good writing!



  26. Heather
    May 30, 2008 1:04 pm

    Happy Birthday, PittGirl! May all of your husbands ravish you a-plenty in celebration of a great day!



  27. joey
    May 30, 2008 1:13 pm

    I’ve decided to stop snarking on the mayor…the voters of the city of pittsburgh knew what they were getting when they voted for this guy….

    Between him and Oranato…the best decision either ever made was to put a (D) next to their name.



  28. DW
    May 30, 2008 1:14 pm

    Happy Birthday, PittGirl!



  29. Steeler_tom
    May 30, 2008 1:50 pm

    Hey! Here’s hoping that you have a great Birthday!
    I’ll kick a pigeon for you in your honor.
    Have a drink or 5 somewhere out of earshot Lukey is babbling “Moving Forward” trust me. LoL



  30. lovesthenorthside
    May 30, 2008 1:55 pm

    happy, happy birthday! may you and your yellow peeptoes run into all your self-uniteds looking your hottest.

    4. ewwww



  31. Magnus Patris
    May 30, 2008 2:02 pm

    Happy Birthday PG! Go buy yourself something nice; like a “C.A.B.” shirt. Maybe for Luke’s birthday, we can all chip in and buy him some balls.



  32. Brian
    May 30, 2008 2:12 pm

    By the way, does anyone believe for one second that Luke paid for those hockey tickets WITH HIS OWN MONEY? I mean, we already have so many reasons to trust him, and he obviously bleeds integrity, but come on, now. I swear, I think he thinks he’s the mayor in a “Batman” movie or something, like all this stuff isn’t really real and the mayor’s just a cool guy who gets to do cool things. Douche.



  33. Pensgirl
    May 30, 2008 2:14 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    (The Pens players said it was Mario’s pool, but I believe it happened in 1991, so it was not the last time we had it.)

    I just can’t get over how the same people who whine and cry that Gary Bettman ruined the NHL and has no idea what he’s doing and drove away all of these American viewers will turn on a dime and say he concocted some brilliant master plan to conspire a particular team into the Cup finals. I swear it happens every single year.

    What really kills me is these same people continue to watch the NHL and buy tickets and merchandise. I just want to find these people so I can ask them, “If it’s all fake, and you’re still watching, then how dumb does that make you?”



  34. retiredguy
    May 30, 2008 2:28 pm

    Luke should hang his head in shame.

    Every veteran should spit at his feet.



  35. Christina
    May 30, 2008 2:34 pm

    Happy Birthday, pittgirl! Buy some expensive shoes for the occasion! (It’s a tradition that I’ve adopted for myself, and I suggest all other hot girls follow suit.)



  36. Pensrule
    May 30, 2008 2:38 pm

    Its Pittgirl’s Birthday and you happen to love The Duke. Coincidence?
    May you have a pigeon free day!
    NJ LOVES PITTGIRL



  37. Christy
    May 30, 2008 2:45 pm

    Happy Birthday, PittGirl! I wish you many Lukey-inspired drinks…complete with cheap, non-Iggle limes.



  38. Marcy
    May 30, 2008 2:55 pm

    HB, PG!



  39. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    May 30, 2008 2:59 pm

    Happy Birthday, PittGirl!



  40. SeanCollier
    May 30, 2008 3:14 pm

    Happy Birthday!



  41. John
    May 30, 2008 3:22 pm

    Happy Birthday, PittGirl! I hope you found yourself a nice pair of sandals to be your birthday gift from you to you. :)



  42. H
    May 30, 2008 4:28 pm

    Happy Birthday PG!!



  43. scottie
    May 30, 2008 7:16 pm

    Happy B-day.

    I remember when I bought my car (in the 1990s) and the Smile station in Augusta, GA was 95.99 Cents for gas. I thought that it was a steal, cuz in South Carolina it was 99.99 cents. I wish I could go back to that time (except for the fashion).

    -S



  44. coolmommy123
    May 30, 2008 9:37 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PittGirl!

    Hope to celebrate your birthday on the BurghBlog for many years to come! :)



  45. chrys
    May 31, 2008 12:28 am

    Happy Birthday.. I wish for you a pigeon free weekend!! ~Peace~



  46. minion # 77777777
    May 31, 2008 8:00 am

    Its okay to give in Pittgirl!

    The pigeons might even leave you alone if you give into Ben…

    Did you know that us minions have controll over those sort of things…



  47. R Train
    June 2, 2008 2:34 pm

    I (unfortunately) live in Texas right now, and I think I was milked dry by that EXACT SAME GAS STATION this year. It was on I-10, wasn’t it? KILLED me. Now they’re charging like $4.59. [choke]



  48. ButlerBob
    June 7, 2008 6:01 pm

    Driving an suv AND hating animals makes you a real asshole.