1. I almost witnessed a catfight today on Smithfield. I couldn’t quite tell what the two women were arguing so loudly about – something about hos or bitches or sluts or something. Unfortunately, it didn’t materialize because a friend broke it up before it had a chance to really catch fire.
I say “unfortunately” because while a street fight between two men can be all [punch] [uppercut] [stab] pow pow [thud] [leg sweep] [punch] blam-blam! [dead], a street fight between two girls is more often all rowr [swipe] hsssss [scratch] [push] EEEEK [snarl] [grab] [poke] [pull] [boob pops out].
Just once I’d like to see the fight materialize and watch all the hair extensions, sunglasses, and nail tips fly through the air and land under a bus.
2. While I can’t seem to get Lukey, pigeons, or pretty much anyone to do my bidding, it seems that the University of Pittsburgh falcons are at least following my orders:
p.s. 9:00am, June 5: This morning I stopped by Schenley Plaza after the thunderstorms passed. E2 brought in a pigeon for breakfast – it was still alive. He landed next to two of the chicks and then killed the pigeon while the chicks watched intently. I guess today’s lesson was “Here’s how you kill a pigeon.”
This gentle warmth spreading from my heart to my fingertips and down to my toes. It is a mixture of pride, happiness, and blood-lust. What a great dad. Kill a pigeon and feed your babies for a day. Teach them to kill a pigeon and feed them for life.
I think that’s one of Aesop’s morals.
(h/t Caroline FB)
3. A little something cozy to think about the next time you want to defy me and feed a pigeon.
May your fingers never grow back.
(h/t Kate, Father Spoon, and Jennifer)
4. Hockey fans are going to want to make out with CMU for this little invention of theirs called the Yinz Cam:
Called the “Yinz Cam,” the tool could let spectators watch the game from any vantage point in the new arena on their cell phones. It could even tell them the best times to head for the refreshment line (or yes, even the bathroom line).
With the Yinz Cam, spectators could download a widget onto their cell phones prior to the game. They’d then be able to choose from a variety of camera views. It would also allow them to replay their favorite player scoring a goal, a fight that broke out or any other action that happens on the ice.
Can we get these doohickeys in the locker room? [press press press] accessing Sidney Crosby’s nipples.
5. Reader Mark H. wrote me last night:
Our little peanut – 6 years old – went to bed, and instead of ‘God Blessing’ Mom, Dad, etc…..she ran through the entire Pens lineup, plus Ryan Malone’s nose. She’s sleeping with her stuffed Penguins and her homemade Talbot jersey- scrawled in magic marker on the back of white shirt, complete with Pens logo on the front.
I think we all would like to say, “God bless Ryan Malone’s poor nose.”
6. This Saturday David Conrad is premiering his new documentary Tamas at the Kiski School and while I had planned to charge you minions with showing up en masse, as part of the Kiski Alumni Weekend, it is a private screening.
Surely, there’s a way for me to sneak in though.
Off to plot.