Dear Your Highness the Duke of Fug and the Earl of Gross:

You said about the Penguins:

“They made it further this year than they did last year, and there’s nowhere to go but up from here.”

I’m not sure which field of learning applies to the concept of up/down — maybe architecture, maybe physics, maybe engineering, maybe kindergarten, but let me explain something to you:

When you’re almost at the very tippy top of something, as the Pens are right now, there are boatloads and craploads and shitloads of places OTHER than up to go. In fact, the Pens can either go to a bajillion down places or ONE up place, which is winning the Stanley Cup.

Also, Benny, in case you didn’t learn these in kindergarten either … hold hands, use the buddy system, flush, wash, play nice, don’t eat glue, and learn to get rid of the ball quicker.

KTHXBAI.

(h/t InSewickley)





21 Comments

  1. Sooska
    June 6, 2008 11:04 am

    With this post, PittGirl, you are on top of your game too!



  2. Mark
    June 6, 2008 11:29 am

    What your not suppose to eat that glue teh school gave me? I’m off to the doctor now then.



  3. C.L.
    June 6, 2008 12:29 pm

    oh benny, but you ARE here for our entertainment….



  4. Heather
    June 6, 2008 12:41 pm

    Um, does anyone else think that he has a pair of lime-green granny panties on his head? Just me?



  5. Lauren
    June 6, 2008 12:56 pm

    Um, Ben? Actually you ARE here for our entertainment. You know, the public, the ones who sit in the freeze ass cold seats to watch you throw a football around? The ones who pay ridiculous amounts of money for NFL Sunday ticket to watch you because we don’t live in town anymore? The ones that buy your jerseys and hats and nightmare-causing $10,000 bobbleheads? Yeah, hiya Ben. Now, jump up and down and scratch yourself like a monkey for my entertainment, dammit : )



  6. Magnus Patris
    June 6, 2008 1:27 pm

    Monkey throw ball; monkey get banana.



  7. Wait.
    June 6, 2008 1:58 pm

    …Isn’t that a Pink song lyric? I probably shouldn’t know that, but now I can’t un-know it.

    Now I figure it’s a Photoshop jobbie, but I don’t care. The accompanying karaoke-style mental image will help to get me to 5 o’clock without going insane.



  8. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    June 6, 2008 2:04 pm

    I think that green thing on his head is what they stretch on top of helmets in practice to signify someone who isn’t allowed to be hit. If true, then he has obviously decided to put it on his head without his helmet as a goof. Or else, he forgot his helmet and is hoping nobody notices.

    Of course, I could be mistaken about the whole thing.



  9. NY Luvs Pitts
    June 6, 2008 2:08 pm

    Heather, I was thinking the same thing. Now that’s entertainment. Ha!!!



  10. MonkeyMan
    June 6, 2008 2:16 pm

    Good thing Ben isn’t black. These ‘monkey’ comments surely would have brought out that Hill District fool.



  11. Lyon Advocate
    June 6, 2008 2:25 pm

    Yes, because only a fool gets upset about being called a monkey. The racism in this town – speaking as someone who left for a decade plus – is astonishingly brazen.



  12. Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl
    June 6, 2008 3:04 pm

    @Wait — yes it is a Pink lyric. It’s from U and Your Hand… Go figure. As always PittGirl, you hit the nail. Have a great weekend everyone.



  13. Bram R
    June 6, 2008 3:08 pm

    That shirt is the best on Ben Rothlisburger. Do you think he gets the irony? He’d have to be in on the gag. Right?



  14. zonie
    June 6, 2008 4:30 pm

    Aw, c’mon, PG, you’re reaching for an excuse to jab at The Duke if you think the green shower cap and shirt are anything other than Ben goofing around. And it’s fairly obvious that El Duque’s comment was intended to encourage the Pens players and make them feel better about coming up short this year.

    And as for the monkey comment: there is only one simian QB in the NFL and it’s Monkey Boy Brady. **ducks as Brady flings poo**



  15. mis
    June 6, 2008 4:36 pm

    Looks like a condom on his head.
    Maybe he didn’t share with Jeff Reed.
    Hilarious post PG!



  16. Mrs. Pitsberger
    June 6, 2008 8:12 pm

    I call my self-united husband Max Talbot a monkey, but it’s all in love.



  17. minion # 77777777
    June 6, 2008 8:35 pm

    Minions attack pittgirl!



  18. Pensrule
    June 7, 2008 10:07 am

    Ahh you finally got some ammo. Dukie was being way to awesome lately. Quick! Be as articulate and creative as Pittgirl Benny. NEVA..HAHA!
    La U GURL. Just haven atcha.



  19. missedgehead
    June 7, 2008 6:06 pm

    The point of the post is?



  20. bucdaddy
    June 7, 2008 9:12 pm

    Dammit, Bennie, if I catch you rummaging through the garbage again instead of dumping it in the truck, you won’t get to drive the truck for a YEAR! I MEAN it!