Random n’at.

1. Can I just tell you how much I love this weather. HOT! Love it!

I can’t handle people complaining, “OMG. It’s sooooo hot. It is going to ninety!!!!” Except the “tee” in ninety sounds more like “wahhhhh!” when they say it.

Please. It’s summer. Before we know it we’ll be complaining about frozen witches’ tits.

Enjoy the sweat while you can.

2. Some Craigslist What The Effies to get your weekend started right:

  • Are his donkey omelets trying to escape or something? Maybe they’re late for a date with this guy’s donkey omelets.
  • Somebody needs a GREENCARD!
  • This guy again. But now, he’s sure to let us know that in addition to a job and a car, he has a CELLPHONE! Damn. He must make a TON of money if he’s got one of those newfangled cellular portable communications devices.
  • I had to Google it and so you don’t have to, let me educate you. DD/HOH. Domestic discipline/Head of Household. Guy makes up the rules of the house. Girl follows them. Or girl gets punished. NOW do you see why I had to create the term What The Effie?
  • He’s got money. No. Really. He’s got money. Gawd.

3. Lover of Burgh wrote:

Really. If you sit at the East Liberty library for any extended period of time you will see pigeons fly into a giant window of death. They have floor to ceiling windows and pigeons expire daily. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing that thump at the glass, and sometimes 2 or 3 hit at a time….BONUS!

That DOES sound satisfying!

4. John Challis gave a big “Nyah-nyah” to his cancer and graduated from high school. Sigh. He’s starting a foundation and you can be darned sure that once that puppy is up and running I’ll be giving it money.

5. An email from Ashley:

Hey Pittgirl,

How goes it? I ran across your site and you seem to be the coolest of the Pittsburgh bloggers

That’s church.

so I’ve got a proposition for you…

US AIR GUITAR

What?

Yes, US Air Guitar. There’s a national competition and a regional in Pittsburgh, going down at Mr. Small’s on June 10th. Would you want to maybe be a judge?

I’ve let Ashley know that due to my anonymous nature, I can’t be a judge as much as I would very much like to, because I’d love for a reason to say any of the following in a public forum and probably with a faux British accent:

“That was very … airy.”

“Air-TASTIC!”

“Where’s the wow? I’m not seeing any wow from you.”

“SUCKED!”

“What … the bloody hell … was that?” (tm Simon Cowell)

Or I could be the Paula Abdul of the judges and just show up drunk and clap like a seal and say stuff like, “I look up at the stage, and you are standing there airing in your truth and there are rainbows shooting out of your bellybutton and I bow down to your airy love.”

Stupid, necessary anonymity.





24 Comments

  1. In Sewickley
    June 6, 2008 10:08 am

    I’m one of those people saying, “OMG. It’s sooooo hot. It is going to ninety!!!!”

    And today is going to 93, Scott Harbaugh said. That’s not cool! (literally)



  2. emstef23
    June 6, 2008 10:21 am

    “…rainbows shooting out of your bellybutton…”

    yeah, so i just shot water all over my desk from laughing out loud at that one. Thanks PG – I needed that! : )

    PS – I had meant to post this a LONG time ago – I know for a fact you are NOT Ken Rice, because I saw him once at the Brueggers in Mt. Lebanon. Wearing Teva sandals. With socks. And since I know you are a fellow shoe lover, I know with 100% certainty that PittGirl would not commit such a heinous crime of fashion.

    Happy Friday!



  3. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    June 6, 2008 10:22 am

    PittGirl, You should agree to judge the contest, but then send Ken Rice in your place.



  4. emstef23
    June 6, 2008 10:23 am

    Ken can only go in her place if he agrees to never wear sandals with socks again. Ever. Ever. Ever.



  5. Julie
    June 6, 2008 10:25 am

    I for one love this weather! I’d love it even more if I had air conditioning at home, but whatever.

    Love the new banner!



  6. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    June 6, 2008 10:27 am

    And as someone who never complains about the cold (I’m one of those who wears shorts to work when it’s below freezing), I think I have earned the right to complain about the heat.

    Of course, I would never complain about the heat since heat = girls wearing short shorts. Also, I live an hour away from a beach, so that alone makes suffering through the sweating worth it.



  7. Tony
    June 6, 2008 10:34 am

    1) Love the new banner!

    2) You shouldn’t let the anonymity thing get in the way of judging the Air Guitar Competition… Perhaps you can “appear” via video-conference, with a fuzzy blue dot over your face… or better yet, wear a wig and one of those glamourous Halloween Ball masks on a stick. Your appearance would rock harder than any of the competitors.



  8. Pittsburgh Tom (in NJ)
    June 6, 2008 10:37 am

    emstef23, maybe Ken Rice was only pretending to be a fashion criminal the same way Clark Kent only pretended to be weak and clumsy.

    There’s only one way to really prove Ken Rice is not PittGirl: Ken Rice has to kiss a pigeon.



  9. Rachel
    June 6, 2008 10:38 am

    I would like to add two things:

    1. Oooh. Pretty new header!
    2. I LOVE the sweat.



  10. emstef23
    June 6, 2008 10:46 am

    Pittsburgh Tom – you make an interesting point. That would throw us all off – but I still think PG wouldn’t use that as her disguise…socks and sandals?! I mean really Ken Rice…I know it was a cool spring morning and all – but couldn’t you have just thrown on some Nikes or something?? But if Ken Rice had a man-crush on David Conrad, that would be church!

    I will say, I kind of like that PG is anonymous…it makes reading the blog all the more fun, cause then, when I roll around town, I’m all – is she PittGirl?? However, reading her blog, I’m all “I totally need to be friends with this person!” Even if it is Ken Rice.



  11. TBD
    June 6, 2008 10:54 am

    #1 Thats church PG. Hate the babys who aren’t comfortable unless its between 72.6 and 78.4. You can beotch about the cold, or the heat. Not both. I’ll take hot over cold every day.

    #4 Rock on dude!

    #5 LOL thats great. Totally did the air guitar competition thing back in college. About a million.5 years ago :^)



  12. LisaC
    June 6, 2008 11:27 am

    I will NEVER complain that it’s too hot!

    Your post reminded me that I had something to tell you! Apparently the movie Final Destination 3 has a scene in it where a guy is killing pigeons by shooting at them with a nail gun. I wouldn’t know as I don’t watch those kinds of things but when my brother was talking about it my immediate thought was “Gotta gell PittGirl!”



  13. JamieO
    June 6, 2008 12:45 pm

    But PittGirl, re: the Craig’s List guy who must need a green card, he does offer this:

    “I will repay you in awesome food cooked by me.”

    I mean, c’mon, what a deal. I bet he cooks better than David Conrad. Isn’t that worth getting involved in some kind of scam?

    And by the way, didn’t I see this skid on “Mind of Mencia”?:

    I need to get married by next weekend. It’s just a weird thing i wanna do. You must be awesome,broke, weird, into good/cool stuff. Not crazy is a plus, crazy in the sack is a big plus. You have to pretend to know me from about 6 years back. No questions about why, just if you want to get married to a young dude who loves animals, little kids, and the everlasting perfectness of the supreme godhead, reply.

    There is just so much there, I have no idea where to begin, but I enjoy “not crazy is a plus”. As in, not really crazy, but crazy enough to do this.



  14. john
    June 6, 2008 1:51 pm

    Why does that one guy from Hankey Farms always pose with his arms like that?? Does it make him look more dateable?



  15. john
    June 6, 2008 1:53 pm

    and that guy with money..well he also has a sunken chest and a curved spine



  16. Charlie
    June 6, 2008 2:26 pm

    its 107 here in Texas so stop complaining!! I do like the new banner at the top..its about time we get to see Sonni every time we log on!



  17. kkinLA
    June 6, 2008 3:24 pm

    A few thoughts. Why do people think that grabbing their giblets is attractive? I mean, what woman would actually respond to that? Am I missing something? Help, girls who read the blog? I mean, I see a guy grabbing his junk and I think a) he’s got an itchy, rashy disease, b) he’s obviously overcompensating and c)just, EW. What is with the dick fascination? You don’t see women posing in pictures holding one of their boobs, for god’s sake!

    And, just like I couldn’t be attracted to anyone who likes to hold their boy parts, I couldn’t legitimately go out with someone from HANKEY FARMS. I’d just get the giggles everytime I said the name of that town. Real mature, I know…



  18. Dawn
    June 6, 2008 4:48 pm

    If you’re breaking your anonymity for an event, it sure as hell better be to play on the Yinz Team, thankyouverymuch!! Especially after you called down your PG-I-wish-I-could-play-but-I-have-to-remain-anonymous-mojo and had my leg tattooed by a line drive with your avatar in the form of a nasty bruise! :)

    Oh yeah, and even though it hurt like hell, I refused to give up my strapy, adorable sandal heels. :)



  19. Mrs. Pitsberger
    June 6, 2008 9:02 pm

    I will complain that it is too hot and I will dance naked in the whirling snowflakes of January. Cause I LOVE the freezing witches tit cold.



  20. billy w
    June 7, 2008 4:13 pm

    I actually posted that ad on craigslist about needing to get married. Here is what actually is happening:
    click!



  21. billy w
    June 7, 2008 4:13 pm

    i guess abbreviated info:
    In the state of pennsylvania it is illegal for two persons who identify as homosexual and or of the same sex to marry each other no matter how in love, how wonderful their relationship is, how much they respect each other. On the other hand it is completely LEGAL for two persons of opposite sex, who do not love each other, who are not dating nor plan to, to get married.
    In protest of this and to bring some awareness to the ignorance of the laws of this state, two people who are not in love and not dating nor sleeping toegther will be getting married, June 21st, 2008 at 4pm in Friendship Park.
    Reception will follow across the street from the park at Tundra House complete with cake ceremony, couples first dance, speeches and toasts. Following this a marching band of musicians artists and guests will lead the couple on a parade through bloomfield to the neighborhood lawrenceville where there will be a large karaoke/dance party. Members of the media and other outlets will be chronicling the wedding/experience with video, photo, and interviews with all involved. This will be THE event of the summer.



  22. Kelli
    June 9, 2008 9:56 am

    Dude, please do not mess up the flow of traffic in Lawrenceville with these shenanigans. I am totally aware of the laws – messing up my day by messing up residents ability to get around won’t change those laws.

    I’m not saying don’t do it – I’m just saying, keep your “parade” under control, please.



  23. Mrs Pitsberger
    June 9, 2008 10:59 am

    Let me get this straight. You have all this broohaha in the works and you had to post on Craigslist to find a bride?? That’s just poor planning.

    Also, newsflash: straight couples who don’t love each other, haven’t slept together, some haven’t even met, and they get married every single weekend.



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