Random n’at.

1. If I’m making any part of this up, may a pigeon poop on my new handbag while I’m waiting for the bus. Yesterday I headed to Sister of PittGirl’s house for a relaxing swim and maybe for some tanning. At one point Sister and I were sitting in the shade under a cherry tree, chatting about another sister (Ohio Sister) and about how Ohio Sister’s daughter fell down the stairs and freaked Ohio Sister the hell out, when we heard a fluttering in the tree above us.

I looked up, because PittGirl knows fluttering in tree = bad news. Always.

People, two birds flew out of the tree, flew with speed straight for my head, pulled up at the last second and took off into the air all psych! I assumed the shit, there are birds aiming for my eyeballs pose and screamed like a baby sissy girl. And boy, did my sister get all [blink] [point] BWAH! HAHAHAHA!

You know, sister, it is not that funny when the birds are coming at your own head.

Frickin’ birds.

2. Speaking of frickin’ birds, my friend reader Goob wrote:

It is hot, lovely hot, and it is keeping me from Getting Things Done. Instead, I watch the sparrows and jays and such play in the back yard, and wonder why I’ve never seen a baby pigeon. I mean, there must be pigeon chicks. And the law of all things tiny means that they’re likely cute, too. Could this be an avenue for the rehabilitation of the reputation of pigeons? Turns out … not really.

Brace yourselves, Burghers:

Mother of all that is unholy.

Now THERE’S a baby that the dingoes need to eat.

3. While watching the news yesterday afternoon and sitting next to my father, Dennis Bowman came on to tell us some very important things to remember about the heat, things like “stay cool” and “wear light colors” and “drink plenty of fluids” and “don’t try to run a marathon today.”

I said, “Is this really necessary? It IS summer for crying out loud. Why is this necessary?”

Father of PittGirl muttered, “Because there are idiots in the world that need to be told EVERYTHING including not to blow-dry their hair in the bathtub.”

That’s church.

4. Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner reviewed the 11 coolest helmets in NFL history and BAM! We’re number one:

It’s extremely unique, it’s got an interesting backstory, and obviously, there’s a lot of winning tradition behind it. It succeeds on every front, and is something that’s kind of evolved organically out of the town itself to become a powerful and iconic sports logo.

(h/t NY Luvs Pitt)

5. Heart. Break.

Sisters Sydney and Lauren Richmond of Cranberry were princesses for the day on Sunday, complete with a horse-drawn carriage, flowers, balloons and entertainment.

Sydney, and her sister, Lauren, 3, were diagnosed within 15 months of each other with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), a cancer of the white blood cells.

Four-years-old. Three-years-old.

When life is this unfair, I don’t even know where to shake my angry, confused fist.

You can be sure that some pigeons are going to pay the price this afternoon when I hit the sidewalks with my pointy, poison-tipped shoes.

6. LA Johnson looks into the new forms of male greeting.

My personal favorite has to be the chest bump, because is it ever HILARIOUS when my sister and her six-year-old son do it when the Pens or Steelers score.

The man-to-man butt slap is also high on my list of favorites. And boy, I cannot WAIT to lay one of those on my future best friend David Conrad.

Bam!





11 Comments

  1. Charlie
    June 9, 2008 11:57 am

    Little known fact about Dennis Bowman…he’s an amazing ventriloquist…I’ve seen him do the Who’s on First routine with his doll…you’d swear the thing was real.



  2. Jordan
    June 9, 2008 12:17 pm

    I totally misread #3 and read that Dennis Bowman was your father. I was all WTF?! but then…I wasn’t..b/c I re-read it…



  3. Pensgirl
    June 9, 2008 12:33 pm

    1. Lecture time: Pittgirl, I hope you were wearing sunscreen. As the precancerous mole I had on my back at age 20 can attest (yes I just said a mole can attest to things), UV rays are no joke. I preach from love.

    4. I was recently standing across the street from a hospital where there was a tank attached to the building, and something red, yellow, and blue on the tank caught my eye. My first reaction was to wonder why there was a Steelers logo on it…I thought it might be a prank given that we were 1/2 mile from the Ravens stadium, but I didn’t know why anyone would find that funny to put it on a random hospital tank. It took almost 10 seconds ’til I realized it was just the regular “steel” marker. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign that the Steelers have officially replaced steel as the recognized entity to which that symbol refers.

    And yes, it is a fantastic logo. Simple, unmistakeable, and of logical origin.

    5. No words.

    6. We’re so weird as a society – we smile a lot more than a many other countries but touch less often (and in odd ways like the things in that article). That goes for all interactions between Americans, not just those between two men. I don’t know if that makes us friendlier or more standoffish, but again we’re definitely weird.



  4. Mitch Cumstein
    June 9, 2008 12:38 pm

    Great post, although the pic of the baby pigeon made me nauseous (eating lunch when I read it)!
    /gives Pittgirl a fist bump as he realizes pat on bum is not appropriate



  5. Fraggle
    June 9, 2008 1:00 pm

    I think the Bird Mafia has a hit out on you.



  6. McSmooth
    June 9, 2008 1:18 pm

    4. While it’s great that the author chose the Steelers helmet as the coolest, do you think he could have found a picture that has the logo on the correct side?



  7. lovesthenorthside
    June 9, 2008 1:47 pm

    #3. i know! drives me crazy. this line was in the post-gazette food section yesterday in an article on how to tell if food’s gone bad:

    “When you’re grocery shopping, look for food with an expiration date as distant as possible.”

    how do i get one of these jobs?



  8. Jared
    June 9, 2008 2:22 pm

    I clicked through to the helmet article and was deeply offended by this:

    understandably, since we’re talking about Pittsburgh here, where they’ve only just now started to believe that people without moustaches could be decent, trustworthy people

    ouch.



  9. gunnlino
    June 9, 2008 4:14 pm

    Moustaches ? And here all this time I thought it was the pubic looking gotee-moustache combo sported by so many of our red-blooded mullet wearing ‘Burghers that inspired so much admiration.



  10. Maria
    June 9, 2008 9:42 pm

    I didn’t get the moustache comment in the helmet article. Was it a shot at Cowher? I don’t get it. Maybe I’m just slow on the uptake.

    Anyway, I’ve lived in Pittsburgh all my life and if anything, I distrust people with moustaches. Basically they scream “CHILD MOLESTER!!!” in my opinion. Except during hockey playoffs, when they scream “OUR CAPTAIN CAN’T GROW A REAL BEARD!” As sad as I am that the Pens season is over, I’m very happy to see pictures of Sid sans porn star ‘stache and fuzzy chin strap.



  11. Rob
    June 9, 2008 10:20 pm

    Love the Buffy reference.