1. If I’m making any part of this up, may a pigeon poop on my new handbag while I’m waiting for the bus. Yesterday I headed to Sister of PittGirl’s house for a relaxing swim and maybe for some tanning. At one point Sister and I were sitting in the shade under a cherry tree, chatting about another sister (Ohio Sister) and about how Ohio Sister’s daughter fell down the stairs and freaked Ohio Sister the hell out, when we heard a fluttering in the tree above us.
I looked up, because PittGirl knows fluttering in tree = bad news. Always.
People, two birds flew out of the tree, flew with speed straight for my head, pulled up at the last second and took off into the air all psych! I assumed the shit, there are birds aiming for my eyeballs pose and screamed like a baby sissy girl. And boy, did my sister get all [blink] [point] BWAH! HAHAHAHA!
You know, sister, it is not that funny when the birds are coming at your own head.
2. Speaking of frickin’ birds, my friend reader Goob wrote:
It is hot, lovely hot, and it is keeping me from Getting Things Done. Instead, I watch the sparrows and jays and such play in the back yard, and wonder why I’ve never seen a baby pigeon. I mean, there must be pigeon chicks. And the law of all things tiny means that they’re likely cute, too. Could this be an avenue for the rehabilitation of the reputation of pigeons? Turns out … not really.
Brace yourselves, Burghers:
Now THERE’S a baby that the dingoes need to eat.
3. While watching the news yesterday afternoon and sitting next to my father, Dennis Bowman came on to tell us some very important things to remember about the heat, things like “stay cool” and “wear light colors” and “drink plenty of fluids” and “don’t try to run a marathon today.”
I said, “Is this really necessary? It IS summer for crying out loud. Why is this necessary?”
Father of PittGirl muttered, “Because there are idiots in the world that need to be told EVERYTHING including not to blow-dry their hair in the bathtub.”
4. Yahoo’s Shutdown Corner reviewed the 11 coolest helmets in NFL history and BAM! We’re number one:
It’s extremely unique, it’s got an interesting backstory, and obviously, there’s a lot of winning tradition behind it. It succeeds on every front, and is something that’s kind of evolved organically out of the town itself to become a powerful and iconic sports logo.
(h/t NY Luvs Pitt)
5. Heart. Break.
Sisters Sydney and Lauren Richmond of Cranberry were princesses for the day on Sunday, complete with a horse-drawn carriage, flowers, balloons and entertainment.
Sydney, and her sister, Lauren, 3, were diagnosed within 15 months of each other with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), a cancer of the white blood cells.
When life is this unfair, I don’t even know where to shake my angry, confused fist.
You can be sure that some pigeons are going to pay the price this afternoon when I hit the sidewalks with my pointy, poison-tipped shoes.
6. LA Johnson looks into the new forms of male greeting.
My personal favorite has to be the chest bump, because is it ever HILARIOUS when my sister and her six-year-old son do it when the Pens or Steelers score.
The man-to-man butt slap is also high on my list of favorites. And boy, I cannot WAIT to lay one of those on my future best friend David Conrad.