Never … say never.

Today was an early day to head out of downtown, and as luck would have it I happened to need to leave my office at exactly the same time that the HAND OF GOD CAME DOWN TO BITCH SLAP ME WITH A MONSOON.

I mean seriously. Bitch slapped me with a monsoon.

The wind was so strong that my umbrella, which is supposedly one of those I will never invert umbrellas, inverted at least three times. The rain was going up my nose. Up my nose, people! Do you know how bad the wind and the rain need to be to make the rain go up your nose even when you’re holding an umbrella?


Then, as I stood there, completely soaked, holding an inverted umbrella, water dripping down my face, my curls matted to my head, waiting for the frickin’ walk sign to change, two very clear thoughts entered my head and made me burst out laughing right there in the stormy, thundering rain:

1. At this very second, there is nothing I would like more, not a pigeon to kick, not lunch with David Conrad, NOTHING! than to have a Nubrella on my head.

2. Somewhere, God is sitting, looking down at me all [blink] [point] BWAH-hahahaha!

Ha-ha. Very funny, God. You’re just a big ball of karma-dishing hilarity, aren’t you?

Lesson. Learned.


  1. Sooska
    June 13, 2008 3:29 pm

    It was LaMont Jones.

  2. Anonymous
    June 13, 2008 3:34 pm

    Be it resolved — design a more attractive Gnubrella.

  3. Maria
    June 13, 2008 3:38 pm

    Honestly, was getting water up your nose worse than walking around Downtown in a bubble?

  4. John
    June 13, 2008 3:47 pm

    If you had the nubrella…you maybe could have drowned with all that upwards blowing rain.

  5. Bill
    June 13, 2008 5:01 pm

    If the wind got up underneath that Nubrella, you might have gotten airborne ala Sister Bertrille, The Flying Nun!

  6. bucdaddy
    June 14, 2008 7:43 pm

    That cat looks like a jagger bush.