Don’t worry about wrinkles, don’t worry about the high price of oil, don’t worry about what you’ll eat.
Poop is all you need.
A week after we discussed those batshit crazy women that pay actual real non-Monopoly money to have bird poop smeared on their faces, two more uses for poop have cropped up.
1. In that same vein of animal poop, comes this about bug poop:
A privately-held industrial biotechnology company based in South San Francisco, specializes in the genetic alteration of bugs — single-cell organisms, each a fraction of a billionth the size of an ant — so that when they feed on agricultural waste like woodchips or wheat straw, they excrete crude oil.
Flying cars and teleportation be damned; we’ve invented bugs that poop oil! Welcome to 2008!
2. And from the True Things that I Refuse to Believe are True file, which is a subfile of my LALALALA I Can’t Hear You file.
HARRISBURG (AP) — A court is expected to rule on whether a central Pennsylvania township has the right to prohibit the use of human sewage as fertilizer on agricultural land, a practice that some critics believe can be harmful — and even lethal — to people.
- We actually have to go to court to determine if farmers can legally use human shit to fertilize their crops?
- There are actually farmers that have or are fertilizing their crops with human shit?
- Is using human shit to fertilize your crops considered “organic farming”?
- Can they invent a sticker to put on produce that says, “No human shit was used in the growing of this product.” Just so I can feel safer about that which I’m putting in my mouth.
- Poop, use the poop to grow plants, eat the fruit from those plants, poop, use the poop to … is this what they mean by the Circle of Life?