Don’t worry about wrinkles, don’t worry about the high price of oil, don’t worry about what you’ll eat.

Poop is all you need.


A week after we discussed those batshit crazy women that pay actual real non-Monopoly money to have bird poop smeared on their faces, two more uses for poop have cropped up.

1. In that same vein of animal poop, comes this about bug poop:

A privately-held industrial biotechnology company based in South San Francisco, specializes in the genetic alteration of bugs — single-cell organisms, each a fraction of a billionth the size of an ant — so that when they feed on agricultural waste like woodchips or wheat straw, they excrete crude oil.

Flying cars and teleportation be damned; we’ve invented bugs that poop oil! Welcome to 2008!

(h/t Erica)

2. And from the True Things that I Refuse to Believe are True file, which is a subfile of my LALALALA I Can’t Hear You file.

HARRISBURG (AP) — A court is expected to rule on whether a central Pennsylvania township has the right to prohibit the use of human sewage as fertilizer on agricultural land, a practice that some critics believe can be harmful — and even lethal — to people.

  • We actually have to go to court to determine if farmers can legally use human shit to fertilize their crops?
  • There are actually farmers that have or are fertilizing their crops with human shit?
  • Is using human shit to fertilize your crops considered “organic farming”?
  • Can they invent a sticker to put on produce that says, “No human shit was used in the growing of this product.” Just so I can feel safer about that which I’m putting in my mouth.
  • Poop, use the poop to grow plants, eat the fruit from those plants, poop, use the poop to … is this what they mean by the Circle of Life?


  1. BobM
    June 17, 2008 1:47 pm

    Human poop as fertilizer… it’s the Amish, those pigeon-growing, barn-raising throwbacks to the 15th century. They’re all “waste not, want not” I guess.
    OTOH, a few years back a municipal sewage authority over in Huntingdon County sought and RECEIVED permission from the DEP to fling treated “solid waste” (poop) in a local farmer’s field. That, to say the least, raised quite a stink in the community.


  2. deejee
    June 17, 2008 1:57 pm

    Google for “Milorganite”.

    Authentic Milwaukee human poo since 1919 (I guess that means that it is high in bratwurst and beer). We used it for all of our landscaping when I worked summers with the road crew in Monroeville.

    It’s not immediately obvious on the website, but if you dig a little bit, you’ll see that the starting point is the sewage treatment plant in Milwaukee.

  3. toni
    June 17, 2008 2:17 pm

    You forgot a pooh:

    The World’s Most Expensive Coffee is From Beans Cycled Through an Indonesian Monkey’s Digestive System-Truth!

    Summary of eRumor:
    Kopi Luwak is a rare and gourmet coffee from Indonesia that is made from beans passed through the digestive system of monkeys.

    link to source:

    Now that’s a thought to ponder as you drink your Starbucks/Dunkin DoughnutSeattle’s Best tomorrow morning!

  4. bucdaddy
    June 17, 2008 2:51 pm

    I like dogs OK but I hate chihauhaus. I’d be fine if a jagger bush ate that chihuahua and then shat it. Somehow.

  5. Dean J
    June 17, 2008 3:04 pm

    We used poop, rotted plants, and rotted food as fertilizer up until World War 2. It’s not healthy to use human poop because we can get human diseases from that.

    And no, it wouldn’t be organic, unless you could prove the folks in question were fed an organic diet. Unless the current administration changed the qualifications for certification again.

  6. retiredguy
    June 17, 2008 3:05 pm

    While I was stationed in Korea in 1978-79, I learned that human poo was siphoned out of cess pools and put directly into the rice paddys. Fortunately, I don’t like rice.

  7. Still A Fan
    June 17, 2008 4:14 pm

    that means the circle of life is located right between your cheeks……


  8. Maria
    June 17, 2008 4:24 pm

    Remember when a bunch people were infected with hepatitis A after eating at Chi-Chi’s a few years ago? Yeah, that was because the farm that produced the green onions was using human waste as fertilizer. People DIED because of that. I don’t understand how using human waste is legal. So disgusting.

  9. osuisnumber1
    June 17, 2008 4:40 pm

    They use animal poop to fertilize crops. What’s the big deal?

  10. pittgirl
    June 17, 2008 4:47 pm

    Because in general, I don’t need to worry about what cows grazing in the field are shitting out, but I sure as hell would worry about when humans are shitting out (drugs, diseases, TRANS FATS!!!!!!)


  11. plexxer
    June 17, 2008 6:01 pm

    Yeah, my dad has a good rule of thumb – if the animal that the fertilizer came from ate meat, don’t use it to fertilize your crops. Cow, horse poop good; human poop bad.

  12. Steelman
    June 17, 2008 10:37 pm

    My father, now deceased, used Milorganite in his garden as a fertilizer. I believe you can still buy it today. It is my understanding that it is produced from sewage. Maybe that explains why he grew cabbage with 2 heads.

  13. Steelman
    June 17, 2008 11:30 pm

    I was right about Milorganite being made from sewerage (I don’t know if sewerage is better than sewage.) Copied the following from Wikipedia,

    “Milorganite is the brand name of an organic nitrogen fertilizer produced by the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District. Popularized in the United States during the 1940s and 1950s, it consists of processed sludge from the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District Jones Island Wastewater Treatment Plant in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The fertilizer is made up of microbes that have digested nutrients from the sewage stream along with added iron, used to strip phosphorus from the waste water flowing into Lake Michigan.”

  14. Jo
    June 18, 2008 12:42 am

    Now I know where the term, “Shit for Brains” came from

  15. Mandz
    June 18, 2008 7:21 am

    Oh yeah, people poop on the fields comes up in the area I live as well, which is actually not far from the township that article is talking about. We gots ourselves lots of Amish and Mennonite folks out this way and old PA Dutch farmers who just don’t get what the big deal is. Most are ok though and use proper poop for fertilizer.

    What I can’t stand is when city people move out here to get away from crowds and to enjoy rolling hills, and then viciously complain to their township council about the smell from the (proper) fertilizer the farmers use on those rolling hills. What’d they think it was gonna smell like living next to a farm?? And it doesn’t last more than a day or so. The worst part is that some councils actually cater to these whiners and start banning shit. No pun intended… Ok, maybe a little pun intended.

  16. Bulldog
    June 18, 2008 7:37 am

    Thanks for the tip about googling “Milorganite”. I used that stuff on my lawn when I lived in Florida and had no idea that Milorganite stood for “Milwaukee Organic Nitrogen”.

    I think the BIG difference is that Milorganite is “processed” in a major way, including firing in ovens at 1000 degrees, whereas the other stuff that started the conversation doesn’t appear to have much in the way of “processing” going on.

  17. unsatisfied
    June 18, 2008 8:11 am

    man, all this talk of poop makes me want to go hit the can for some reason…..

  18. BurgherinArkansas
    June 18, 2008 10:28 am

    Talk about recycling