1. When a co-worker swings by the desk and asks for say, a french fry or perhaps even a handful of chips. Fine. Happy to help. Here ya go. What’s new with you? But when a co-worker swings by the desk, sees me eating a cream cheese bagel sandwich and asks me to “cut out a wedge” for them … just no.
Not unless you want me to lick it first.
2. I don’t know who this “Anthony” guy is, but he might have the art find of the century over at T&A. I mean, would you look at that sexy?
3. While the Twittering Teddy Bear doesn’t freak me out THAT much, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a Twittering Scary Dead-Eyed Doll and then the day that doll looks at me, blinks one eye and says, “I’m going dark now,” I will lose my shit and cut its head off. Swear to God.
(h/t BIG GEORGE)
4. Boy was BIL ever wrong about Rocco vs. Tiger. Can you imagine if Rocco had pulled it off? Mass hysteria. Bummer. I could have used some mass hysteria yesterday. Any excuse, actually, to run screaming down the street.
5. Many a reader has emailed me or commented, accusing me of being a jinx to the Buccos of Suckitude because five times they’ve come within one win of .500, five times I’ve written about them being one win away, and five times they’ve run away from it screaming in horror. Fine. Next time the Buccos get within one win of .500 I’m going to keep my fingers quiet about it and not write a word. If they lose, it will prove I’m not a jinx and that they just really suck balls.
If they win … OMG. Newfound power. Mwah-hahaha!
6. Would someone please explain to me why freelance writer Alan Petrucelli in writing a piece for the PG previewing Joan Rivers’ upcoming show at the Byham, felt the need to add this line in an otherwise perfectly fine article:
Rivers has said yes to cosmetic surgery — some say too many times; not to be catty, but some of the excessive nips and tucks have sometimes made her look like a Siamese cat.
I mean, absolutely mention that she’s had craploads of plastic surgery done, but going so far as to write in “One of America’s Great Newspapers” that the woman you’re interviewing looks like a Siamese cat is like writing about Oprah Winfrey with, “Winfrey has put on quite a bit of weight recently — some say too much; not to be catty, but this excess weight is making her look like a zoo elephant.”
How the hell did that not get edited out?
7. If you Google David Conrad, The Burgh Blog is now the FOURTH listing below only IMDB, Wiki, and TV Guide. Watch your back, TV Guide.
8. Finally, if/when the Buccos of Suckitude remember that they’ve only got a limited amount of time to perform their swan dive down to last place, this will be a great card to send to your friends, as reader Allison sent to me.