Random n’at.

1.  When a co-worker swings by the desk and asks for say, a french fry or perhaps even a handful of chips.  Fine.  Happy to help.  Here ya go.  What’s new with you?  But when a co-worker swings by the desk, sees me eating a cream cheese bagel sandwich and asks me to “cut out a wedge” for them … just no.

Not unless you want me to lick it first.

2.  I don’t know who this “Anthony” guy is, but he might have the art find of the century over at T&A.  I mean, would you look at that sexy?

3.  While the Twittering Teddy Bear doesn’t freak me out THAT much, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a Twittering Scary Dead-Eyed Doll and then the day that doll looks at me, blinks one eye and says, “I’m going dark now,” I will lose my shit and cut its head off.  Swear to God.

(h/t BIG GEORGE)

4.  Boy was BIL ever wrong about Rocco vs. Tiger.  Can you imagine if Rocco had pulled it off?  Mass hysteria.  Bummer.  I could have used some mass hysteria yesterday.  Any excuse, actually, to run screaming down the street.

5.  Many a reader has emailed me or commented, accusing me of being a jinx to the Buccos of Suckitude because five times they’ve come within one win of .500, five times I’ve written about them being one win away, and five times they’ve run away from it screaming in horror.  Fine.  Next time the Buccos get within one win of .500 I’m going to keep my fingers quiet about it and not write a word.  If they lose, it will prove I’m not a jinx and that they just really suck balls.

If they win … OMG.  Newfound power.  Mwah-hahaha!

6.  Would someone please explain to me why freelance writer Alan Petrucelli in writing a piece for the PG previewing Joan Rivers’ upcoming show at the Byham, felt the need to add this line in an otherwise perfectly fine article:

Rivers has said yes to cosmetic surgery — some say too many times; not to be catty, but some of the excessive nips and tucks have sometimes made her look like a Siamese cat.

I mean, absolutely mention that she’s had craploads of plastic surgery done, but going so far as to write in “One of America’s Great Newspapers” that the woman you’re interviewing looks like a Siamese cat is like writing about Oprah Winfrey with, “Winfrey has put on quite a bit of weight recently — some say too much; not to be catty, but this excess weight is making her look like a zoo elephant.”

How the hell did that not get edited out?

7.  If you Google David Conrad, The Burgh Blog is now the FOURTH listing below only IMDB, Wiki, and TV Guide.  Watch your back, TV Guide.

8.  Finally, if/when the Buccos of Suckitude remember that they’ve only got a limited amount of time to perform their swan dive down to last place, this will be a great card to send to your friends, as reader Allison sent to me.





18 Comments

  1. MiamiShyner
    June 17, 2008 8:31 am

    They actually ask in your office? Food just disappears off of desks in our office.



  2. NY Luvs Pitts
    June 17, 2008 8:35 am

    8. We just fired Willie Randolph at 3:00 in the morning from managing the NY Mets. Ya want him? Didn’t he play for Pittsburgh once upon a time?



  3. Christina
    June 17, 2008 8:42 am

    1. I’m with MiamiShyner on this one. People in my office just help themselves if you walk away for a second. Someone once stole an entire package of English Muffins out of my desk. English Muffins!



  4. Heather
    June 17, 2008 8:46 am

    Office moochers are the WORST! I once had an UNOPENED 20 oz. bottle of soda from the vending machine sitting next to me. My former office mate left the room, came back with a cup, opened the bottle and poured herself some of my drink! I was speechless! She said, “What? We share, right?”

    Who does that?



  5. bucdaddy
    June 17, 2008 9:02 am

    I gotta get me soma them cards.



  6. Stephanique1
    June 17, 2008 9:08 am

    My boss gave me a candy jar filled with candy to put on my desk that she had won through a raffled gift basket. Every day she would come in and pilfer a few pieces and pop them in her mouth. By the end of the week, I came in my office and noticed the jar was missing from my desk. Later that morning I was in her office for a meeting and I noticed the EMPTY jar was on her desk. So much for being giving….



  7. Mimi
    June 17, 2008 9:08 am

    I have a coworker who will ask someone eating a pudding cup or yogurt if she can lick the discarded lid.



  8. wshicldtel
    June 17, 2008 9:42 am

    The scary doll picture inside the ladies restroom on the first floor of the Sheraton in Station Square – omg – I see it every year when we host our week long conference and each year I say, “mtf, I don’t get it”.



  9. Mark
    June 17, 2008 10:08 am

    We have refridgerators where people keep their lunches. People had to resort to duct taping their lunches closed because someone was going into everyone’s food and taking stuff.

    I can’t believe what grown adults would stoop to for yogurt.



  10. TBD
    June 17, 2008 10:33 am

    #1 – We have the odd things disappear from the fridge but from your desk or licking the lid? Thats just jackedup. Toss lid in trash and give em a ole ‘ya go for it’. Anon signs on the fridge that you left something thats been messed with, maybe you’ll find it or maybe you won’t will do wonders to the stealing jagoffs.

    #4 – Ok so I hate golf. Well not so much the game just the people that have no perspective and think its the sh*t and live talk and breath it. Being tired of all the Tiger media and general a** kissing he gets really set me off after his comments re. hockey the other week. The oral workover he’s been getting since winning this one has me convinced he needs to a) STF up and go away b) have a 1:1 session w/ Mr. Malone on what it means to play with pain or c) just have some quality ice time with WWGRD or Georges or Roots or… to see if it provides an appropriate attitude adjustment.

    (now where are my meds…)



  11. Sofa King
    June 17, 2008 10:46 am

    We’ve been having a rash of thefts from our office freezer, so when someone pilfered my Healthy Choice entree last week, I put a note on the fridge with directions to the cafeteria and the phone number for the food bank, in case they can’t afford the cafeteria.



  12. unsatisfied
    June 17, 2008 10:47 am

    #1: makes me even more happy that I work out of my house. at worst, my dog might snag some of my starbucks pastry. but, he’s a dog — that’s what dogs do — so, he has an excuse.

    #4: makes me even more happy that I work out of my house. in between conference calls and doing part of my peter gibbons-endorsed 15 minutes of work a week, I caught some of the action. it was really impressive to see a local boy do good, staying even with the best golfer in the history of the universe at the end of 18 tough holes of golf. of course, radio shows this morning like espn’s “mike and mike” did more of the requisite tiger ass-kissing that TBD mentions above — ENOUGH ALREADY. what about rocco? he kicked ass and had the time of his life, judging from what I saw yesterday. congrats, rocco!

    #5: at least we’re not the seattle mariners (worst team in MLB). and, yes, NY luvs Pits — willie randolph played briefly for the succos back in 1975 (when they WEREN’T the succos) and was traded to the hated yanks for a local guy, doc medich.

    #6: PG, have ya seen joan? she’s damn scary-looking. though, props to her for making light of in that geico commercial — good stuff.



  13. BIGGEORGE
    June 17, 2008 10:56 am

    #1: You can secure your stuff on your
    desk with an alarm. Part of the alarm
    sits on your desk, part attaches to your
    item. when the item moves more then a
    certain distance away the alarm on your
    desk goes off.

    You could also get one of those things
    you attach to your keys. You push the
    handheld device and the piece attached to
    you keys beeps.

    Check luggage stores.

    BIGGEORGE



  14. Christina
    June 17, 2008 11:01 am

    Mimi’s comment made me shudder. Asking people for their discarded pudding/yogurt lids!? Some people just have no gauge of what’s acceptable/disgusting/depraved…

    Also, I have a friend who had a used bottle of Pepto Bismol sitting on her desk at work. One day, she came to work to find that someone had helped his/herself to it, and used the little cup that came with it and everything.

    I will never understand people like this.



  15. Kat
    June 17, 2008 12:19 pm

    All off this is making me glad that I’m not allowed to have food in my office.



  16. lovesthenorthside
    June 17, 2008 1:16 pm

    4. glad to see rocco do so well. tired of hearing how tiger was playing so heroically with his knee. love to root against him now — he’s up there with mickelson and his nasty oakmont comments. try hockey, beotches.

    5. good. they suck loud enough on their own.

    8. any way that card can be sent to bob nutting with thousands of signatures on it? or sent individually by thousands of people? anyone have his email address?



  17. gunnlino
    June 17, 2008 7:14 pm

    Years ago there was a rash of food thefts in our little office, a friend made some brownies and by noon they were gone, several days later she made some more brownies, by 3PM several people had spent nearly the entire day in the bathroom. Seems the active chocolate flavor was Exlax.
    Never was another food item missing.



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