PittGirl Mines Craigslist: Put on some protective gear.

Presenting the latest crop of What The Effies to come out of Craigslist:

  1. Do you suppose that perhaps he used Photoshop on his teeth? I bet those glow in the dark.
  2. Speaking of teeth, he’s got “great teeth and excellent balance.”  But does he also have “no ear hair and legible penmanship”?  These are important traits.
  3. This is me being “philosophical” and this is me being “weird.”
  4. “Looking to pound some beers and some vag.”  AND, if that’s just not enough win for you, ladies, he also won $40 betting on NASCAR this year.  That $40 will buy you a lot of Milwaukee’s Best and hopefully a truckload of condoms and antibacterial spray.
  5. Forget the weird hairline in pictures 1 and 2.  Picture 3.  I think it’s the sexy jorts that made that photo so damn irresistible. You can’t go wrong with jorts. Ever.
  6. Of all the pictures to choose from
  7. This ad is listed in the “volunteers” section.  He “might return” the car by 3:00 p.m.  Might does not equal will.   (h/t In Sewickley)
  8. First, I cannot abide the fact that she doesnt’ know where to put the apostrophe in the contractions of don’t and won’t.  Secondly, I bet she thinks thats’ every mans’ dream girl.  Bikini.  Heels.  Beer.  Corvette.  Bay-bee.  She and NASCAR guy up there would live happily ever after.  Like a fairytale.  A fairytale that takes place in a trailer park.  In West Virginia.  And the Fairy Godmother is played by Ron Jeremy.