Is “stink” also a choice?

As you recall, my minions, that some he-bitch stole my purse not too long ago.

[deep calming breaths as the anger once again shoots smoke and foul language out of my ears.  I wonder if that guy has been karma-ed yet.]

Of course my drivers license was also stolen.

The necessary paperwork to get a new one is a form that must be notarized and asks the general questions.  Height?  Weight?  Gender?  How did you lose your license, ya moron?  It got stolen?  Because you left your car unlocked?  Wow.  You don’t deserve a new one. I guess we’ll send you a new one if you answer this final question about your eye color.

Blue. No, that would be Tina Fey, Ta-Ta, Pens Fan and Ohio Sister, all of whom were blessed with beautiful blue eyes.

Brown. Sure why the hell not.  Let’s go with that.  Unless brown/hazel is going to be a later option.

Green. I wish!

Hazel. Sometimes.

Pink. Wait.  What?!

The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania would like to think that there are more pink eyes than there are black, grey, di-chromatic, or “other” eyes, which are the four choices that follow the “pink” option.

Do they mean this kind of pink, which is a Halloween costume accessory:

Or THIS kind of pink eye?

If they mean the diseased, conjunctivitis-ridden, yellow-crusted pink eye, then I’m very tempted to check off “Pink” and then check off “Other” and write in “also I have a sty on my eye” praying that I get my license back with “Eye color: Pink Sty.”

Who are these people with pink eyes?

I bet the scientologists have something to do with this.


  1. Marcy
    June 27, 2008 10:32 am

    I’m assuming that this is for albinos? The odd thing, tho, is most pink-eyed albinos I have known were legally blind and therefore, not eligible to drive anyhow…odd…

  2. DW
    June 27, 2008 10:40 am

    Got’s to be for albinos.

  3. blech
    June 27, 2008 10:43 am

    albinos for sheezy

  4. Allison
    June 27, 2008 10:50 am

    Thanks, PittGirl…I always love to see conjunctivitis as I’m eating my sandwich.


  5. Brian
    June 27, 2008 10:55 am

    Thanks for the pink eye picture.

  6. gunnlino
    June 27, 2008 10:57 am

    As always, political correctness rears its ugly head, what about birds-eye, fish-eye, evil eye ?
    Any others?

  7. James
    June 27, 2008 11:02 am

    Pink eyes, or the appearance of pink eyes, have become slightly more common than they used to be. There is no pink pigment, but the lack of pigment in the eyes allows you to see the capillaries better. The redness of the blood makes the eyes look pink. Albinism is one example where this occurs, but there are a few other genetic diseases that also cause pink eyes.

    You know that section (I think it’s the third section if I remember correctly) is only if you are making changes or corrections to your license. Unless your eye color was wrong on the old one, you don’t even have to fill out that part.

  8. MiamiShyner
    June 27, 2008 11:13 am

    Mmmmm, crusty eye boogers. Thanks for the pink contacts though. I might start rocking those to work. With a blond wig. They may get upset.

    Btw, you can trick the Commonwealth into giving you your suspended license back by, well, moving to another state. It worked for me anyways. :-)

  9. Sooska
    June 27, 2008 11:47 am

    hmm my college roomie had one brown eye and one that was half green and half brown. what then PennDOT?

  10. McSmooth
    June 27, 2008 11:54 am

    What if you had both eyes pecked out by pigeons?

    Well, I guess you wouldn’t have a need for a driver’s license.

    Silly me. Carry on….

  11. Stephanique1
    June 27, 2008 12:04 pm

    Sometimes hazel? Nah…Ken Rice’s eyes are definitely brown.

  12. Monty
    June 27, 2008 12:22 pm

    if you googled “red eye” to get that picture, I’m guessing you had to sit through a lot of NSFW pics before you got to that one.

  13. TBD
    June 27, 2008 12:43 pm

    what? No stink-eye???

  14. retiredguy
    June 27, 2008 1:06 pm

    What’s wrong with brown eyes? I have always liked my brown eyed girl. Course, she turned out to be a complete nutcase, then went back to her physically abusive ex-boyfriend, married him, then divorced him 10 months later. But I’m ok with that now.

  15. LisaC
    June 27, 2008 3:08 pm

    Ew. Thanks for that. Not. Eck.

  16. Lee
    June 27, 2008 11:51 pm

    Yes Albinism is one of the more common ways to have “pink” eyes. technically, it is not pink, it is clear, and the color is a reflection of the blood vessels in the eye. Often, those with albinism have eyes that can reflect the color of shirt they are wearing, or at least that is what my sister has sometimes. She has albinism and is 16, so we have experienced some funny eye colors. Although, I am confused by pennDot…(surprise surprise), because albinism also renders a person legally blind at best….and they aren’t allowed to drive, so what the hell is there a pink box for anyway? Was this a ploy to get votes for some re election campaign?

  17. Patrick
    June 29, 2008 5:23 pm

    Lee & Marcy, I’ll bet that same form can be used for getting a replacement state-issued ID card as well as a driver’s license.

  18. PIttbekoutofpitt
    June 30, 2008 8:01 am

    it is albinism… it might be on there because it is a general form and penndot also does photo IDs because all of these albinos (i have 3 in my family), though they may not be able to drive, they still need ID to do anything or go anywhere… think if you didn’t have an Drivers License… what would you show if you got carded? or… needed to leave the country, or even just fly anywhere… thats why it’s there, im guessing.

  19. Sofa King
    July 1, 2008 10:45 am

    Are albinos really that common that pink eye needs included on the state DL application? In my 27 years and all of my travels, I can probably count all of the albinos I’ve seen in my life on 2 hands.

    Perhaps I’m albino-deficient.