Let’s move on from the “Wouldn’t it be very ITCHY?!” discussion, shall we?  I’m tired of thinking about what would happen if a yarn tampon was to unravel while lodged in … never mind.

The PG held a contest (with no prize really except seeing your name in the newspaper) for readers to come up with a phrase to replace the cliche “throw him under the bus.”

Why that cliche instead of other more worn out cliches like “like I need a hole in my head” or “Pittsburgh is a forward-thinking city” (seriously.  Google that.), I have no idea.

But the winner.  Wait.  I mean the “winner” was…  Ready?

Relationsnip.

Yes, relationsnip is the new “throw him under the bus!”

OMG.  Did he just throw another interception?!  He is relationsnipping his team!

Lordy!  Would I like to relationsnip Marian Hossa!

Now, with a kickass (there’s a cliche I could use a replacement for) first place like the NOUN relationsnip replacing the VERB/ACTION PHRASE of “throw him under the bus”, I imagine second place is hella awesome, too:

“Fly him back on coach.”

[blink]

Did they only get two entries?

It gets better:

Dawn Richardson-Frank is simply sick and tired of “proactive.”

“How can someone act before acting? It’s absurd,” says Ms. Richardson-Frank, 39, of North Versailles. “We must throw the word ‘proactive’ under the bus.”

Dawn.  Let me type slowly so that you will understand me.  The word is not preactive, the word is PROactive.  One can act before acting if one does one action to AVOID A SPECIFIC REACTION.  For instance, if you know that your act of leaving your window open tends to allow a certain determined pigeon to enter your apartment and shit on your stuff, you could be PROACTIVE by closing your window, thus allowing you to avoid the actions of cleaning up pigeon poop and coaxing the bastard into your blender.

Do you understand, now?

God.  DID EVERYONE TAKE STUPID PILLS TODAY?

Category: Annoying Burghers, Eye rolls | July 15, 2008 | | ShareThis