That kind of day.

Let’s move on from the “Wouldn’t it be very ITCHY?!” discussion, shall we?  I’m tired of thinking about what would happen if a yarn tampon was to unravel while lodged in … never mind.

The PG held a contest (with no prize really except seeing your name in the newspaper) for readers to come up with a phrase to replace the cliche “throw him under the bus.”

Why that cliche instead of other more worn out cliches like “like I need a hole in my head” or “Pittsburgh is a forward-thinking city” (seriously.  Google that.), I have no idea.

But the winner.  Wait.  I mean the “winner” was…  Ready?

Relationsnip.

Yes, relationsnip is the new “throw him under the bus!”

OMG.  Did he just throw another interception?!  He is relationsnipping his team!

Lordy!  Would I like to relationsnip Marian Hossa!

Now, with a kickass (there’s a cliche I could use a replacement for) first place like the NOUN relationsnip replacing the VERB/ACTION PHRASE of “throw him under the bus”, I imagine second place is hella awesome, too:

“Fly him back on coach.”

[blink]

Did they only get two entries?

It gets better:

Dawn Richardson-Frank is simply sick and tired of “proactive.”

“How can someone act before acting? It’s absurd,” says Ms. Richardson-Frank, 39, of North Versailles. “We must throw the word ‘proactive’ under the bus.”

Dawn.  Let me type slowly so that you will understand me.  The word is not preactive, the word is PROactive.  One can act before acting if one does one action to AVOID A SPECIFIC REACTION.  For instance, if you know that your act of leaving your window open tends to allow a certain determined pigeon to enter your apartment and shit on your stuff, you could be PROACTIVE by closing your window, thus allowing you to avoid the actions of cleaning up pigeon poop and coaxing the bastard into your blender.

Do you understand, now?

God.  DID EVERYONE TAKE STUPID PILLS TODAY?





27 Comments

  1. Joe
    July 15, 2008 3:30 pm

    I did a Google search on relationsnip and the only results seemed to include sites that spelled relationsHip wrong.

    I think the Post-Gazette is just making stuff up at this point.



  2. jcubed
    July 15, 2008 3:34 pm

    The stupid may get worse – we are nearing a full moon. At least that is what I am going to attribute it to.



  3. bucdaddy
    July 15, 2008 3:39 pm

    “Throw him under Jerome Bettis,” anyone?

    Are there PAT buses still running in Pgh.? I thought they’d cut the last route.



  4. Maria
    July 15, 2008 3:52 pm

    “Relationsnip” makes me think of “relationshit.” As in, “I just got out of a three year relationshit. My ex wanted me to start using yarn tampons so I threw him under the bus. No, I’m not using the cliche…I literally threw him under the 59U.”



  5. Ravishing Rick
    July 15, 2008 3:58 pm

    Try putting the tampon in your favorite beverage of choice,let the string hang over the side of the glass for a few minutes and watch it swell up, I think thats what
    happens “inside”



  6. TBD
    July 15, 2008 4:05 pm

    Is it the full moon? The heat? Or are we all just suffering from a bad case of the OTR syndrome? Or what would that be in the recyclable, knit, wash and re-wear world?? :)



  7. Gumbygirl
    July 15, 2008 4:11 pm

    Throw him into the jaggerbushes!



  8. windy city steel city
    July 15, 2008 4:11 pm

    Ban these buzz words too:
    Touch(ing) base
    think outside of the box
    paradigm shift
    110%
    Just typing the ones above is making me apoplectic enough to forget all the others I loathe.
    Hep me aht here?



  9. Ravishing Rick
    July 15, 2008 4:13 pm

    It really makes you wonder why women get soooooooooooooo
    irritable when they get there monthly visit from there friend is it because they get bloated and fat and also have IBS ??????



  10. Joe
    July 15, 2008 4:22 pm

    I know who I wouldn’t mind throwing under a bus, people who use there when they mean their and your when they mean you’re.



  11. joey
    July 15, 2008 4:39 pm

    Move forward.



  12. Muddypelican
    July 15, 2008 4:42 pm

    windy:
    Low hanging fruit
    At the end of the day…
    Poke him in the belly (that may just be our co.)



  13. bucdaddy
    July 15, 2008 5:42 pm

    windy,

    You’d have to kill all managers.



  14. Mitch Cumstein
    July 15, 2008 5:49 pm

    Frankly, I think the whole idea of sewing your own feminine hygiene products has become rather cliched and I’d like to throw Miss Itchy-Crotch under the bus.

    But seriously, the whole “green” thing is becoming a little tired now, isn’t it?

    Also, I’m a little behind the times, but I don’t even know what relationsnip is…



  15. Sooska
    July 15, 2008 6:01 pm

    I needed to see the PG’s explanation so I looked up the original article and this is what the winner had to say:
    “This was the result of one of my own silly typos — relationsnip, an abrupt breakup, for whatever reason,” says Ms. Brovey, 51, a professional translator from South Park.

    We liked her term for the swift severing of a relationship.

    The PG liked a FREAKIN’ TYPO as their winner. I will throw the PG under the bus, The Bus, or the 64B. I will not “relationsnip.” I am not Lorena Bobbit.



  16. Ravishing Rick
    July 15, 2008 7:12 pm

    Did she say relationship:

    1:relationship-
    A legal form of prostitution where a female collects money, cars, and other valuable things in exchange for sex.

    2:relationship-
    The reason for 70% of suicides in America.

    3:relationship-
    1. any type of connection that brings two individuals together for a period of time
    2. something other than a friends with benefits
    3. more than a mutual understanding!!

    4:relationship-

    The most un-sturdy and uncertain vessel to navigate through any ocean of the heart. While the warm winds of prevailing love and romance blow favorably through its sails, this un-seaworthy vessel steers ahead with pride and promise. But upon hitting rough and stormy weather, too often the relationSHIP flounders and sinks.

    If you’ve yet to experience a relationship, then an example will do little to help you understand.



  17. scottie
    July 15, 2008 7:55 pm

    I’d like them to stop using “It is what it is.” F’ing circular references like that annoy me. No F’ing Sh*t, if it is what it isn’t then it wouldn’t be it, would it?



  18. chrys
    July 15, 2008 10:52 pm

    relationsnip sounds like a kinder word for “penis removal”



  19. gunnlino
    July 16, 2008 2:39 am

    Too many people with too much time on their hands and indulge the Post Gazettes lack of anything worthy to publish except reprints from other newspapers.



  20. The Dude
    July 16, 2008 7:07 am

    Pittgirl,

    There were 68 responses to that yarn tampon post at this time. Was that a record? Can you easily find out what post did receive the most?



  21. pittgirl
    July 16, 2008 7:29 am

    No, not a record. There have been other posts that went well above 68 or even 100 comments posted. By far, the record is held by this post about Benny, which is still going strong at 994 comments.

    http://theburghblog.com/2007/02/05/bens-new-girlfriend/



  22. Messier
    July 16, 2008 8:39 am

    yea I got relationsnipped by my girlfriend. Together for three years and now she won’t give me the time of day.
    ..

    meh.



  23. Zsa
    July 16, 2008 9:18 am

    “Relationsnip” sounds disturbingly like a Sniglet. I hope Rich Hall sues her ass.

    “Throw him under the bus” hasn’t been around nearly long enough to be thrown under the bus, IMO.



  24. zarum
    July 16, 2008 11:24 am

    Windy city steel city, mine is “share”

    e.g. Why don’t you share that with the rest of us?

    Just freakin’ tell us!



  25. emstef23
    July 16, 2008 11:40 am

    Seriously….995 posts about who the Duke is dating? Do we really care?
    Honestly people….



  26. deegazette
    July 21, 2008 9:46 am

    Can we start a movement to ban CLOSURE.



  27. Ravishing Rick
    July 21, 2008 8:42 pm

    CLOSURE

    1. To attempt to ‘move on’ following the termination of a relationship with another individual.
    2. When used in a sentence, insinuates that the individual using the word is the same individual who was the target of the ‘break-up’.
    3. A word used by overly-emotional, self-centered ‘drama queens’ (mostly women and gay men).
    4. Individuals using this word generally will utter the word ‘chapter’ during their often one-sided conversations.
    5. A word created during the 90’s which was borne out of individuals unable to cope with relationship failure.
    6. Individuals using this word insinuate that the more stable party is responsible for all of the ‘closured’ individual’s problems, as well as the War in Iraq, airbag safety issues, the Democratic National Convention, dustless chalk, nipples on men, PMS, and bad-hair days.