1. I’m warning you now that beginning this Friday and going all the way through the next week, the chances that there will be any posting are about as good as the chances that the Rooney’s will own the Steelers come September.
I’m currently working on hunting down the best beach read for me. You might recall the one year I read the book about the girl that fell in love with an angel and actually had sex with an angel in the forest while surrounded by singing sprites, and you might recall how I was all [eyeroll] [gag] [stab] about that.
Last summer, I know I read a book at the beach, but it must not have been very memorable because beats the crap out of me what it was.
This year, I’m tossing around David Sedaris maybe, or one of the many good recommendations made by my Twitter friends (I can’t say “followers” because then I sound like a cult leader — The Cult of Chokin’ Bitches.). My request is something funny, not loin-clothish, certainly no Danielle Steel because bitch can’t write, and the cover cannot contain any of the following:
- Fabio or any sketched male model
- Heaving bosoms
- Bursting bosom stitches
- The words “Al Gore”
- Fabio holding Al Gore whose bosom is heaving and about to burst its stitches.
The City Paper was kind enough to tell me all the summer books I should read and all the books I should throw under — relationsnip.
It will be online tomorrow, but it’s on the newsstands today. And the cover artwork is divine!
2. I just realized today that the Carbolic was kind enough to include me on the links page of their new online fake newspaper, which is a great honor because they’re really aiming for the national market now. So I wanted to publicly give them a big fat YOU ROCK! Thanks for not relationsnipping me.
Yeah, that word is NEVER going to catch on. I tried, yo!
3. In response to my post about the ewness of going paperless, a local blogger wrote:
I was thinking about how to comment on this Post-Gazette article I read online this morning and Pitt Girl beat me to it. If you don’t know, Pitt Girl is an anonymous Pittsburgher who writes a VERY popular blog called The Burgh Blog. I read it for a laugh every now and then, though it’s not family fare; it’s often crude. But often really funny.
You know, when I write my stuff, I write fast. There’s very little planning. I don’t know what I’m going to write until my fingers start moving. Like type-ity type-ity clickity clack click click [proofread] delete delete delete [retype diarrhea] “publish” BAM! and I never intend to be crude but it always seems to come out.
Yet in real life, and you can ask Woy this, I’m the least crude person I know. Odd. Schizo.
4. I am going to see Jeff Dunham at the Civic Arena (!) this fall and I am going to be so close that Achmed the Dead Terrorist might actually spit on me when he screams, “Silence! I kill you.” This awesome seat hookup is thanks to my good virtual friend Dom at ineedtwo.com. Dom also informs me that there might be Steelers tickets giveaways in The Burgh Blog’s future. Yay! (Please note, I am not being paid one cent by ineedtwo. I actually use the site and pay for the tickets.)
5. Mondesi’s House has recast the Pittsburgh Pirates Movie and I gotta say, the casting for Freddy Sanchez and Ryan Doumit is evilgenius.
6. From the PG:
Federal investigators have started asking questions about a range of city of Pittsburgh and city authority dealings related to Urban Redevelopment Authority Executive Director Pat Ford, who is on paid leave pending a State Ethics Commission review of his receipt of gifts.
Wait. WHAT? Pat Ford has been paid to not work since April?! APRIL?! He’s being paid his full salary? And he’s not doing a single wittle bitty thing except maybe smoking cigars and hanging out with his wife who obligingly calls him “Our Hero”?
When did I get distracted from my new life’s goal of getting hired by the City just so I can be put on paid leave for a long period of time? Must recommit to becoming a public servant.
7. We’ve seen Craigslist men looking for women with foot-fetishes or sub/dom-fetishes or tickle-fetishes. Here’s a new one. He’s looking for his nylon/spandex obsessed princess!
Has he tried calling Jeff Reed yet?